I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

I am trying not to be a bridezilla
I spoke to my FMIL again this morning and told her me and mymom were going to look at places and most places have minimums in order to have it there
and if she wants to invites her people.
She said no, she has no one to invite, that it should be my side and bridal party... so i proceed to her her, that its really women on both sides invited to the wedding who are invited to the shower.
So she goes well i could maybe invite like 2 friends. maybe.

So Im bummed cause most places have 25 or 30 person minimums, and i would not make that with just my side.

My sister MOH wants to call her later and explain this is a tradition that happens in most weddings, and its not like they are giving me a gift for myself, its a gift for me and lee.
Like its not like they are buying me clothes. and that the point of registrering at a store is for the bridal shower

Do you think my sister should call her, i just feel like she has her mind made up and no one is going to chage her mind.

I also dont want to have a shower with no one there, or very small, i feel like its embarassing like i dont have any people to invite, if that makes sense

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

does fh have a sister? maybe she could explain it to your fmil.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

They should have just sent out the invites to all the women you are inviting to the wedding.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

It's up to you. My family does not know my FH's family. They have never met or spoke on the phone. My sister is inviting who she wants to invite since she is paying. Who knows if FH's family will show up but she is doing the right thing by inviting them.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Talk to your FH and let him know how you are feeling. Maybe he can talk to his mom.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

have your sister or mom call her or maybe even lee to do it...explain that its supposed to be both families together and for his side not to show up is kinda rude and not showing an interest in his future wife, and they should go in a way to welcome her and be there for her on such a special occasion

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Well does your FMIL does not want to invite her side at all, like is she being difficult or she really doesnt have people to invite. Like does she have a sister, aunt etc. Why dont you invite your FH's side? If worse comes to worse, pick a place with your mom, dont stress, enjoy. Is your FMIL coming to your shower?

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by Espo22

have your sister or mom call her or maybe even lee to do it...explain that its supposed to be both families together and for his side not to show up is kinda rude and not showing an interest in his future wife, and they should go in a way to welcome her and be there for her on such a special occasion

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Thank you Denise, I was waiting for you to respond, I am going to send this to my mom and Lee.

I just love your advice, and the way you word everything

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wow thank you so much for that, so sweet.

Good luck and hope it all works out

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

If I remember right, Nicole's issues with her FMIL was the whole thing with it not being jewish tradition with holding bridal showers. It's a pretty old school tradition but still widely followed.

I think the only person whose place it is to talk to her about this further is your FH. Have him explain everything you said about it really being for both of you, and if it does come down to being about following jewish tradition then I think you unfortunately have to respect that....but definitely have FH let her know that you don't want to make it appear that you don't want her side there, you want to join as a family and this is a perfect way to do it and also that she is not obligated to do anything for the shower other than give you a guest list (if she chooses to). Good Luck.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Hmmm maybe its different everywhere, but in my family it was always like close gals on FH side and close relatives and friends of the bride.... FH mom felt the same way I think people gotta drop 'the rules' and go with what works best for your situation... ya know?... Hope it works out.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

Aw Date Twin im sorry your FMIL is making things difficult for you! I agree with some of the girls that said have your mom or sister call up and explain that in your family this is a tradition where you invite all the women (or immediate family) on both sides of the bride and groom.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)

I hate to say it but definatley leave it alone and when FH's side of the family starts to ask why they werent invited to the shower they can answer to FMIL.

Re: I know i posted about this before but its still bugging me (shower related)