I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Original post by JessicaM.

Aug 30, 2005 09:35 AM

I am curious to know how many girls are paying for their ENTIRE wedding, from soup to nuts- dress, hall, flowers, rings, photog, shoes, veil, headpiece, favors, invites, up to the safety and bobby pins, with no help and without ANY hope of receiving any large gift from anyone (parents included)

I know some girls are paying for everything b/c they wanted to, but will probably receive a nice sum from either one or both sets of parents.

I am just curious if there are girls out there in my situation- we are paying for everything- I am even paying for my parents outfits- and we will probably not even recoup the costs of just the catering hall. I am not by any means complaining, it's just a fact and we CHOSE to have this wedding- I just wanted to know if anyone is in my shoes.

SomethingBlu Posted: Aug 30, 2005 11:11 AM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

DH and I paid for everything...EVERY THING Nothing, except labor on my dress and flowers (my mom and aunt's gifts, respectively) was given to us. From invites to reception - we took care of ALL the costs. Yes, I paid for my mom's dress and yes I paid for my dad's hotel room and expenses so that him and his family could come up and share with us. At the time it was very frustrating only because I didn't get emotional support, but things happen for a reason and I wouldn't change a thing. I would never have asked anyone to help us pay for our wedding...we felt this was an adult choice (to get married) and we should take care of it like adults. And yes, we didn't recover the money put in (not even remotely close) and did not receive financial gifts from our family...but we still would not have changed a thing. They were there with us and that's all that matters!
I do feel your pain, hang in there.

CaMacho Posted: Aug 30, 2005 11:33 AM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by kellwolfe

To all who are i give you all the credit in the world!~

Ditto!!!

LuvMyFH Posted: Aug 30, 2005 11:56 AM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

kaklesmay Posted: Aug 30, 2005 11:58 AM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Its not that WE are paying everything..I am paying for everything.

I make 10X what FI does so I am paying for everything. So at the end of the day, I'll take all the monetary gifts and hope it adds up. BUT OF COURSE IT WONT because weddings are too much $$$$!!

Swan06 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 12:34 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We are. Although, my mom offered to save some money to chip in. I'm not counting on that. I also know that many people aren't going to give us money as a wedding gift. That's why I try to save money as much as possible.

Beth1210 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 12:58 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by CaMacho

Posted by kellwolfe

To all who are i give you all the credit in the world!~

Ditto!!!

me too- I don't now how you guys are doing it!

you should be proud!

salsbride06 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:03 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

we will be paying for everything.

Angel2006 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:04 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We are paying for EVERYTHING except for my gown, my Mom wanted to buy it for me... but as to date I have not received a penny, just a promise!

CaseyVM214 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:20 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Everything except my dress and the church....

GaneshTara Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:26 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

DCSAAB06 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:29 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

me
the ENTIRE THING...my dress, hall, invites,dj, HM...everything.

Proud of it too!

ETA: oh and one more, the Rehearsal Dinner which Im not happy about but, I wont go there either!

JessicaM. Posted: Aug 30, 2005 01:58 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by DCSAAB06

me
the ENTIRE THING...my dress, hall, invites,dh, HM...everything.

Proud of it too!

ETA: oh and one more, the Rehearsal Dinner which Im not happy about but, I wont go there either!

damn Debbie- I forgot about that...and not only are we paying...but I got grief about trying to save a little money doing it from one of my BM's, if you all remember my post about the idea of having Grimaldi's pizza!! (what I ATE the night FH PROPOSED, so it DARN SURE is good ENOUGH for EVERYONE! GRRR)

oh well.

Goldi1021 Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:01 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by GaneshTara

Wow.. I give you guys a TON of credit!

I'm only 21 and he's 23, and the folks are ever so grateful that we're getting married early, so they're doing almost everything.

If we were to wait a few more years - I would be in the same boat.

Not necessarily. I am 35 and we are fortunate to have my family pay for about 80% of it and they are happy to do it. We are covering the other 20%. I honestly reached a point where I didnt think I was going to get married so there was no reason for me to save for a wedding. We WISH we could do it all ourselves, it just isnt possible.

SomethingBlu Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:19 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by JessicaM.

Posted by DCSAAB06

me
the ENTIRE THING...my dress, hall, invites,dh, HM...everything.

Proud of it too!

ETA: oh and one more, the Rehearsal Dinner which Im not happy about but, I wont go there either!

damn Debbie- I forgot about that...and not only are we paying...but I got grief about trying to save a little money doing it from one of my BM's, if you all remember my post about the idea of having Grimaldi's pizza!! (what I ATE the night FH PROPOSED, so it DARN SURE is good ENOUGH for EVERYONE! GRRR)

oh well.

We paid for the WHOLE wedding...soup to nuts...the RD too! It's all taken in stride. This is a commitment between you and your FH, sure it's hard, but I happen to make more than my parents and I would never dream of asking them for money so that I could get married. I'm a big girl!

JessicaM. Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:24 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by SomethingBlu

Posted by JessicaM.

Posted by DCSAAB06

me
the ENTIRE THING...my dress, hall, invites,dh, HM...everything.

Proud of it too!

ETA: oh and one more, the Rehearsal Dinner which Im not happy about but, I wont go there either!

damn Debbie- I forgot about that...and not only are we paying...but I got grief about trying to save a little money doing it from one of my BM's, if you all remember my post about the idea of having Grimaldi's pizza!! (what I ATE the night FH PROPOSED, so it DARN SURE is good ENOUGH for EVERYONE! GRRR)

oh well.

We paid for the WHOLE wedding...soup to nuts...the RD too! It's all taken in stride. This is a commitment between you and your FH, sure it's hard, but I happen to make more than my parents and I would never dream of asking them for money so that I could get married. I'm a big girl!

no Sasha, don't get me wrong. It's not so much that I have a problem with paying for it myself, but, in reality, I have supported my parents since I was able to work- and they are takers, not givers. It is just upsetting, maybe I feel a little 'short-changed' if you will, b/c I see so many girls on here getting SOMETHING...anything, no matter how small, but I don't even get the gesture. it just really makes me sad, b/c although I know I can do it (I've been supported myself COMPLETELY since 16) it would be NICE to have a little more support and generousity in my life, whether financially or in spirit- and not have people leaning on ME when I SHOULD be able to lean on them...

oh well, such is life.

Mariec Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:39 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

we are paying for everything but honeymoon.. and my dress (moms gift)

hmpena Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:40 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Jess,

I can completely understand where you are coming from.

akaMrsT Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:45 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Me and FH are paying for EVERYTHING from the hall and the dress to the honeymoon Well, not parents outfits or tuxedos for groomsmen or BM dresses - but everything else

ETA - we did end up paying for BM dresses but by choice and not because they asked.

SomethingBlu Posted: Aug 30, 2005 02:48 PM

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Posted by JessicaM.
no Sasha, don't get me wrong. It's not so much that I have a problem with paying for it myself, but, in reality, I have supported my parents since I was able to work- and they are takers, not givers. It is just upsetting, maybe I feel a little 'short-changed' if you will, b/c I see so many girls on here getting SOMETHING...anything, no matter how small, but I don't even get the gesture. it just really makes me sad, b/c although I know I can do it (I've been supported myself COMPLETELY since 16) it would be NICE to have a little more support and generousity in my life, whether financially or in spirit- and not have people leaning on ME when I SHOULD be able to lean on them...

oh well, such is life.

I know exactly what you mean...trust me, I DO understand! I have been on my own since the age of 19, working (yes, paying taxes!) since I'm 12 and doing it all without the support of my parents. It's definitely a bummer and I wish my family was there for me emotionally (more than financially) because even though she made my dress and that was a big gift, it was almost like pulling teeth and I felt awkward although she was my mom...

So I understand your vent...you just wish you had parents that were caring and supportive instead of non-responsive. BUT, you wouldn't be the amazing woman you are today had anything in your upbringing been different. Or at least that's what I tell myself!

All I could hope for is the future...I pray that I will be able to fill my children's emotionals needs and that they feel like they could always count on me!