I love it. UGH!!!! I look like a devil woman! (little long)

I just found out from the daughter of my FMIL's coworker (through MYSPACE!!) that my FMIL has been telling EVERYONE all about my wedding....then telling them 'I would've loved to invite you, but she's not letting me. I'm not allowed to have anyone I want there - I'm just sooo limited!'

OK, FYI, her list is already 50 people. My parents' list is 40 people, and OUR list is 30 people. My minimum is 100, and we're paying.

She feels she has to invite former coworkers because she went to their kids' weddings and gave a gift, and 'things have to balance out'...hellllllo! I'm paying for the plate - you gave the original gift - how is that going to balance?!?!?

My one rule for the wedding list is that I must have met everyone on there ONCE in the past 7 years that we've been together. Is that too much to ask?! They have family reunions every year, so I definitely know the entire extended family.

FFIL wants to invite people that he used to work with before he retired 4 yrs ago...he only sees them at retirement dinners, and feels our wedding is a good time to 'catch up'. What?!?

I'm sorry, but I want a very intimate, extremely personal wedding. I want to be surrounded by those that love us, not just those that *had* to come because my FILs gave their kid a gift a few years ago. My parents are not even inviting their bosses.

She's making me out to be the bad guy, but I don't think what I'm doing is so wrong! FMIL and I both work in the same town - also the town we live in. She has a lot of local connections, and her words are getting back to me. FH and I confronted her and asked her to please stop talking about our wedding - that was 3 months ago - and NOW i find out she's doing it again!

I'm so embarrassed

I can't WAIT until this wedding is over and I can get on with my marriage.

sorry to hear your FMIL is striking again! you know she's totally just being passive agressive and doing this on purpose, cause she figures that it will make you look bad, without her having to tell you off or something.

it feels sooo far away, but i hope the next few months fly by for you, and you guys can have the wedding and be together, w/o their meddling!

I totally feel for you, and im sorry you are going through this before your big day. The day is about you and the FMIL should understand that its about the bride not the groom so i feel as you do if i never met them why are they at my wedding.
My FMIL told me she needs 87 invitations I was like WHAT!!! We are having a wedding of 200 for her to ask for 87 invites is insane being that my parents only need 48 invites. . .. I told my FH who didnt seem to care and was like well we have a big family. . . . . although lastnight my FH told me he talked to his mom and 32 of the invites are going to his family in Sicily who they know arent coming but they need to send them an invite. .. which made me feel better. . . .. .

Wow!!! That is not right. This is your and your FH's special day and you two are taking care of it. They need to realize that you two are getting married and they can't invite every single person that they know. They need to leave it at that. We are really sorry to hear about this. We hope that this does calm down.

~dancer and chef~

I know exactly what you are saying. I want a small intimitate beautiful wedding, which I am paying for as well. I see our parents and in laws points of wanting this one there, or that one there. However when it comes down to it, it's more so where we are comfortable in our own budget.
I do not think you are wrong and I do not think that you should be embarrassed at all.
I don't think it's rude that they are not invited. I think that maybe your fmil is just using that as a 'cop out' to those people because she doesn't know what to say to them. But I am sure none of them really mind anyhow.
I had to tell my mom and my fi parents that I would like to know who these people are that are coming to my wedding. Your actually nice and gave the 7 year rule. My fiance and I said if we haven't seen you in person in a year, you are not invited. We are not inviting his out of state cousins to solve this problem. Have people talked??? You bet ya!!! And I have to be honest, I just don't care. The day is not about who is coming, who you'll 'offend', it's about your love for eachother. HTH

I'm having a similar issue. FMIL is inviting everyone she knows because they don't have any family. My aunts, uncles cousins come to a grand total of 45 people and yet FMIL's list is the same length as ours... how's that? I don't know.

Chin up. Tell FH to tell her she's welcome to add more people if she wants to pay for their plates. END of story!

Thank you ladies
Glad I'm not alone in this.

Honestly, I really don't WANT anymore people!
I love the way our room looks with 110-115 people in it, and the guestlist that we have already emcompasses everyone we wanted it to. I don't see the need for ILs FORMER coworkers!

sorry but you are right

hang in theyre

I'm so sorry you have to go through this

Aghh. That is really frustrating!!! Im really sorry and totally understand why you want to be surrounded by ppl who know and love you. I feel the same way!! And totally regret sending STDs that said 'formal invite to follow' to the HUGE list that FMIL gave me.