i missed hump day haha's.. so some thiller thursday...

okay, before I start, anyone wanna cover for me while I'm away? I feel like I have an obligation to you girls to post the funnies...











this is cute














well i guess i'm colorblind











































LOTS of tfln and fml's to come (um.. a weeks worth)

Love these! especially the two demotivational posters




ETA: how're we going to survive without you next week?

Too funny!!!

(312):

You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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(504):

Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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(904):

I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
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(740):

you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
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(904):

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
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(315):

don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
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(603):

You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
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(303):

One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
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(613):

You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
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(908):

where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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(405):

You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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(202):

I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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(610):

So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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(856):

it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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(443):

Would it be a **** move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
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(403):

well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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(519):

He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
(604):

HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES

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(631):

beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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(306):

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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(650):

i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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(573):

Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
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(613):

you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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(607):

Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna **** you up when you're driving high
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(443):

I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride 'felt threatened' by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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(785):

I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said 'No, now get out out of my house.' FML
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Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML
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Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, 'Help me,' as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
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Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FMLToday, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
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Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML
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Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I went to his bank to check his savings balance, only to find he had $3.60 in his account. Oddly enough, my boyfriend was acting excited and giddy to see this. Why was he so excited? That meant he could still afford to buy a Mc Mini. FML
^ um.. WT F is a mc mini??
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Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML
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Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML
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Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to 'stop making up words.' FML
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Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML
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Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, 'BROS BEFORE HOS!!' and hung up. FML
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Today, I found out that my 'I don't believe in pre-marital sex' boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
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My dog would totally play with a leaf, jump on it and then roll over on his back.

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Posted by saralee1978



My dog would totally play with a leaf, jump on it and then roll over on his back.

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lol, thats a praying mantis.

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess

Today, my boyfriend and I went to his bank to check his savings balance, only to find he had $3.60 in his account. Oddly enough, my boyfriend was acting excited and giddy to see this. Why was he so excited? That meant he could still afford to buy a Mc Mini. FML
^ um.. WT F is a mc mini??

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McMini - a canadian thingy from McDonalds:

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess

Today, my boyfriend and I went to his bank to check his savings balance, only to find he had $3.60 in his account. Oddly enough, my boyfriend was acting excited and giddy to see this. Why was he so excited? That meant he could still afford to buy a Mc Mini. FML
^ um.. WT F is a mc mini??

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McMini - a canadian thingy from McDonalds:

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lol, i googled it after i posted it..
FH and I are going to canada on our HM... totally might try.