honestly i love Fh to death but we are total opposites and i understand that but sometimes i really wish he would F^$&^ing be more affectionate and pay more attetion to me....
i feel like by me saying this im acting like a spoiled ***** but in reality its like im not even here sometimes.... he totally ingores me.. we have dinner and then hes usually on his comp or bak on the couch... i feel like he doesnt even want to come near me sometimes,,,,, earlier i asked him to rub my temples n he told me no... and like laughed it off but i was 100% serious...
SparklingBride10
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
What if you tried talking to him about the way that you feel?
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
been there done that... a few times... i ever started crying.... im frecking crying now!!!
its total ******** and i blame his mom
his mom neverrrrr gave him any attetion or affection so he feels the need not to give any.... yet me on the other hand always got attetion n affection.. and my exs all gave me it....
he always tells me dont ask for it and ill do it.. and yea once in a while he does do lil cute things n show me attetion but wtfffff we r suppose to be getting married we r suppose to be so happy right now and yet im f(*^&^75ing crying
grrulz
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
aww hun I'm sooo sorry ....If you think he didn't get affection when he was younger then you give him affection spoil him and hug him and kiss him til there is no tomorrow....is he fully ecuadorian???? my dad is a bit dry too lol it bothers me a lot!!!
amandah75
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
had the same problem with FH. He had no issue showing is son affection, but found it hard being cuddly and all that because he didn't get that from his mother or any other relationship he was in. I'm VERY affectionate. Took him a while, but he's so much better now. His favorite thing now is to kiss my forehead. Cannot tell you how amazing that makes me feel. Just gotta kill him with kindness and keep expressing your feelings. People don't change over night. Even now he has his moments, but I talk to him and he works on it.
mosh424
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
I am sorry! I would really tell him how you feel and try to make him understand that you need love and attention and I am sure you have adjusted somewhat to make him happier and he should do the same.
Nurse12985
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
Aw hugs! Don't cry love! I need alot of attention too. I told FH that need him to tell me im beautiful everyday because I need to hear it. It took time but he does say it alot more. I also had to explain that having sex does not count as showing me special attention. I need pillow talk and for him to just hold me sometimes. He's gotten better but it takes alot of work. I also had to let go of my own insecurties and be less needy.
I really did feel like **** at times and cry too but I know it's not on purpose that he's like that. They show and receive love in different ways then us. You need to learn to speak each others 'love languages'...I sound like our pastors pre-martial course.
Over time I think that you will meet each other in the middle on this.
stinenandy2010
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
I have the opposite problem....FH is so affectionate its sickening. I can't stand it! He tells me I need to so more affection. So think about it from the other side of things. Don't worry, its just men.
christine2010
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
i totally understand u with the computer. it drives me crazy. last night i made a comment about how lucky i am that his comp wont be at our wedding or on the honeymoon. he just laughed.
Opera_Ghost
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
Wow your FH sounds just like my ex. When we used to get food or something I'd be sitting on the couch with it and he'd take it to his computer. I'd start watching a movie (assuming he'd join me) but he would end up staying on playing one of those online games until all hours of the morning.
Anytime I asked for something (like to rub my back cause it hurt) it would always be 'ok, hun' but it would happen like 30 minutes later when he was done doing what he was doing.
Angel06
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
lol, well all i can say is that i'm just like your FH, we just had a simliar conversation. He wanted me to snuggle and i was on the computer for a lenghtly time, it was not personal but more like my relax time and i don't like laying around all day it's useless to me. I hope this helps some time one needs there alone time, even when people are near.
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
Posted by grrulz
aww hun I'm sooo sorry ....If you think he didn't get affection when he was younger then you give him affection spoil him and hug him and kiss him til there is no tomorrow....is he fully ecuadorian???? my dad is a bit dry too lol it bothers me a lot!!!
yeah hes 100%
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
Posted by Nurse12985
Aw hugs! Don't cry love! I need alot of attention too. I told FH that need him to tell me im beautiful everyday because I need to hear it. It took time but he does say it alot more. I also had to explain that having sex does not count as showing me special attention. I need pillow talk and for him to just hold me sometimes. He's gotten better but it takes alot of work. I also had to let go of my own insecurties and be less needy.
I really did feel like **** at times and cry too but I know it's not on purpose that he's like that. They show and receive love in different ways then us. You need to learn to speak each others 'love languages'...I sound like our pastors pre-martial course.
Over time I think that you will meet each other in the middle on this.
lol thanks jess
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
Posted by christine2010
i totally understand u with the computer. it drives me crazy. last night i made a comment about how lucky i am that his comp wont be at our wedding or on the honeymoon. he just laughed.
lmfao i say that all the time
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
i hateeeeeeeeeeee when that happensssssssssssssssss
i just typed a whole big thing and it made me log in again and my post disappeared
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
well basically thanks ladies for all the advice.. and i know everyone needs alone time but he has that almost everyday... im neverrrrr home right after work i always have 500 things to do or work at my 2nd job... but hes the one always looking for me ... if i sit on the couch he lays next to me but wont cuddle or anything its weird... and when i work late hes like babe stop workinng late i like when ur home... so i dunno//./
hes driving me crazy!!!
this morning he acted like nothing happened yesterday... i didnt kiss him goodnight and he knew i was mad cuz i ALWAYS kiss him goodnight unless im pissed lol...
Christine N Ralph
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
My fh is sorta like that...he can be very mushy- but when he wants to be!!! WHen I am in the mood to be cuddly I go over to him and tell him. I guess I can be really needy too- but explain to fh if this is the way that it is now...whats it going to be like when you are married for 20 years. DOnt blame his mother- hes a big boy and part of loving you is listening to you.
Yankees2323
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Re: I need a drink!! (vent sorta)
he listens to me and he does it but its onceeeee in a blueeeeeee i can count the times ya know....
he def needs to listen more... im going to do what amanda said and be way more affectionate and then he has no choice lol
