I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 10:52 AM

I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

I chose my BM right after i got engaged(12-12-08) and gave them plenty of time to get up the money to but there dress... Then i found a dress we LOVE and and then called like 10 other stores to try to find the lowest price for the dress i could! Now my BFF(bm) I think she is giving me the run-around cause she is never avalible to meet me to try the dress(she hasnt yet) she claims that she is so broke that the doesnt have enough money for gas to drive anywhere but work and home... so i texted her just now telling her that im beginning to get worried that shes not going to be able to order the dress when we go to order them on Nov 8th(yes i set a date for my girls) and she texts me back ' thanks for understanding' HUHHHH??? i gave my girls 10 months to save up for this and i dont know what to do!!!!! anybody else in this mess with BM that cant afford to buy the dress! let alone BFF that you have been bff with for 15 years now

just got new text from her saying not to worry that she will come up with the money.. im also worried cause she was BM for anothre girls wedding(a god friend) and she bailed with like 2 days to go!!!!

AngnShaun Posted: Oct 15, 2009 10:58 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

How much is the dress?

meg922 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:00 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

The economy has hit a lot of people very hard. Since you've been friends for so long, it seems like you should be comfortable calling her to discuss the situation to figure out whether she's trying to bow out gracefully or if she just needs a little more time to get the cash together. So much can be misconstrued by e-mail or text.

If she's having a cash flow issue, do you have money in your budget to advance her the deposit so her dress can be ordered on time?

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

orig the dress we found was 190 and i called and called and found it for 140! i thought that was pretty good... i tryed to be budget conscious for all the girls

JLWSJC Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

Yeah, depending on the amount of the dress, I might be sympathetic...

I know i've had some unexpected money issues for the last 6 months so there were things I expected to be able to do recently and haven't been able to... and I'd be embarrassed to address it directly with the bride if I were a BM. I know i'd be scrambling trying to figure it out and hoping it would work out...

But then, I don't know the whole story.

AngnShaun Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:08 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

Posted by elisa112101

orig the dress we found was 190 and i called and called and found it for 140! i thought that was pretty good... i tryed to be budget conscious for all the girls

i would call her and talk to her... maybe the place youre getting them will let her do a layaway thing... like just putting a deposit and then the balance when the dress is ready?

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:10 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

they all do deposits(she only need 70$) but she texted me again and promised the would make it happen... i have no choise but to put my faith in her... im not mad but it would not be a perfect wedding day if she wasnt standing with me... so i nag her cause i love her, u kno?

Future Mrs P Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:10 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

I think that's a great price for a dress. I know when my girls went two weeks ago they only needed to put a deposit down, so maybe that could help her. But honestly you just need to talk to her and find out what's going on because until you do it's just all speculation. GL!!

AngnShaun Posted: Oct 15, 2009 11:11 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

i totally understand... how much were you planning to spend on BM gifts... maybe talk to her and say you would spend the amount you spend on the other girls and give her the money to put towards the dress (if shes having that hard of a time) because you really want her in your BP!

ourwedding9510 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 12:40 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully she can come up with the money so she can be there for you. If she blows you off again, just sit down and talk to her.

jcreilly Posted: Oct 15, 2009 02:30 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

One my BM ran into fincially trouble this summer and could not put the Dp on her dress, so I actually paid it but she has been a friend of mine for 10 years and is always their for me She said she would pay me back, but I told her I do not her to stress on money for my wedding its not worth it and she is a truly great friend and my day would not be write with out her their she will pay for the other half!

elp6421 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 03:25 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

This is a tough situation. I understand why you would be upset - since she is your good friend you would think she would be up front with you and tell you whats going on.

I think you need to have a heart to heart with her. If it is money issues maybe you and her can work something out. I think weddings make people crazy sometimes!! Hopefully everything works out!

wo0shply Posted: Oct 15, 2009 04:11 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

one of my BMs didnt have money for a dress so I bought one for her. My bms did not wear matching dresses so I went on ebay and got her the dress as a gift.

Can you gift her the dress?

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 15, 2009 06:34 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE PLEEASSE

i def cannot afford to buy her dress... i also have another friend in the same money boat so it would be weird to but a dress for one and not the other.. not only that but shes known that this was coming for 10 months.. if she had put 5 dollars away each week she would be fine.. if she comes up with some of the money but was short i would spot her the rest