i need help i just got engaged

before you do anything you need to decide a budget(what you have to contribute what other parties can contribute)

remember e-parties cost $$ also

i was gonna say the same thing- sure, if you have an e-party, you'll probably get some money, but you'll also spend money to have the party. also, you'll find out you might not get as much as you expect... i can tell ya some stories about our wedding gifts- LOL
i would just set a budget. theres ways to do it for 'cheap'. look into things other than the typical reception halls. we had our wedding in NJ in the community room of a condo complex. but it was a beautiful room with a wall of windows looking out onto the water, and a deck for people to hang out on. and we brought in a caterer who did the centerpeices, meals, hord dourves, DJ, cake, all for about $65 a person!! and it was a beaufitul wedding, and we're still getting compliments on it. so look into alternative ways of doing things....

also, keeping the guest list small also saves money- don't invite distant family you hvaen't seen forever...

Definitely set a budget first. Discuss with FH how much you can spend and if any family members are willing to contribute.
Remember that it is not about trying to impress others. It will be a beautiful no matter when and where it is.
Also start to do your research. This website will be your best tool.
Avoid the peak wedding months, Saturday evenings are usually the most expensive. If you have your ceremony the same place as your reception you may not need fancy transportation.
There are a lot of ways to save money.
The girls on here will be very helpful.
In my opinion i would not do the engagement party. We did not have one and believe me the word got out that we were engaged anyway. It was an expense that i didn't want to deal with or put on anyone else.
Just enjoy your engagement and don't worry. This should be a happy time not a stressful time.
Congratulations and Good Luck!

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Posted by RENEE92405

Definitely set a budget first. Discuss with FH how much you can spend and if any family members are willing to contribute.
Remember that it is not about trying to impress others. It will be a beautiful no matter when and where it is.
Also start to do your research. This website will be your best tool.
Avoid the peak wedding months, Saturday evenings are usually the most expensive. If you have your ceremony the same place as your reception you may not need fancy transportation.
There are a lot of ways to save money.
The girls on here will be very helpful.
In my opinion i would not do the engagement party. We did not have one and believe me the word got out that we were engaged anyway. It was an expense that i didn't want to deal with or put on anyone else.
Just enjoy your engagement and don't worry. This should be a happy time not a stressful time.
Congratulations and Good Luck!

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I agree- you may also want to try places that do packages. I think the Brentwood CC does an all inclusive package. Don't do the engagement party. Just enjoy your engagement.

Congratulations!

congrats on your engagment! sorry to hear about your folks financial difficulties. but i'd sit down with your FH and figure out what YOU two can afford to pay for a wedding. (and perhaps his parents, if they are offering at all.) once you figure out that budget it will be easier.

for italian food....that's relatively cheap--check out Verdi's of Westbury. they have pretty reasonable rates!

Is eloping a possibility?

first i want to say welcome... everyone here is very helpful.. u pick up great ideas.. and we are all here to help one another.. true at times there may be some bickering going on ... on some of the boards but that goes away...

first is first you have to set a budget.. since ur getting married in 2008 it gives u some time to shop around.. but as all the other ladies will tell you time sure flys.... your looking to get married in august you have to understand that is one of the more expensive months.. we are getting married in march and we are getting married at cheateau LaMer in lindenhurst its so beautiful and we are only paying $65 per person after tax and gratuity it will jump up to maybe about $80 to $90 a person.. but you get the idea..

As far as an e-party goes... we had one and we only ended up making as much money as we put into it... looking back at it now i wish we did something more simple....

there's lots of ways to save... and everyone here will do what they can to give u adivice..

and dont worry our parents cant afford to really help us either .. we are doing it alone... but it s ok ..

good luck

From what i learned you can have a great wedding on a budget.
Have a small guest list and have a wedding during the afternoon, maybe a sunday afternoon. You will save a lot of money this way.
The bms can wear tea length dresses.. i can picture it all!

It does cost money to have an e. party but you do make the money back and a little extra.
Maybe have a bbq in the backyard.

good luck!!!

If you have not yet set a date, try to figure out what you want your budget to be & then try to figure how much time it will take to get to that number.

Please do not have a party to make $$, as it can backfire badly in the sense that many times people buy actualy gifts for e-parties and do not always give $$. Plus as others have mentioned you will be spending $$ to try to make $$. Also do not count on 'Making money' from you wedding b/c many people have lost.

If you do not want a big expensive wedding, then do not have it. There is nothing that says the success of a marriage is determined by the type of celebration you chose to have, and the stress is not worth making you & SO miserable over it.

Another thing you might check out are destination weddings. You can get alot of all-inclusive affairs for a fraction of the cost of a NY/NJ wedding.

Good luck and congrats!

First of all... Congratulations! Welcome to the addiction we call liweddings!

I think it's nice to have an e-party... and if you do it right, you can end up with more money than you spend. If you don't have an e-party, no big deal! You can even choose to have a few mini-e-parties in your house/apartment/family member's house to celebrate your engagement. I agree that you shouldn't have it with the sole purpose being to make money. If you can find a reasonable place, then celebrate with your friends and family!

Also, you are engaged, and I'm sure excited to get married (like we all are). But you can get married in an off peak season (we're saving some money by getting married in November, which is a beautiful month), during the day on a Sunday... or even on a Thursday night, if you needed to.

Also, nothing says you have to get married this year or next year, so you can do a lot of saving in 2-3 years! Just find a high interest account, like ING, and pile your wedding money in there! And if you book everything early, you can lock in today's rates, which will probably go up each year.

We are all here to help... let us know if you have any questions. We're here to help! Good luck!

Since approx. 99 % of us go over our budget
I would say, plan a budget out first.
The e-party will cost money to make money so I would forget it if you have to pay for it.

First, Congrats and Welcome to LIW!!

Yes, I agree to plan a budget out first. That is the very first thing to do. Engagement parties do cost alot as well. I had it in a hall and my FH parents spent at least 3-4k on everything, but that didn't come out of our pockets.

As for the wedding, we are paying for so we arranged a budget.

Larkfield Manor is a very good RH to take in consideration and I heard they give very good prices. Unfortunetly I booked elsewhere before my sister picked Larkfield Manor. New owners and the food is fabulous. They put so much $$ into that place. Another option is Majestic Gardens. The price isn't so bad and the food is great.

I hope I helped out a bit.

Maria

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Posted by theresarisa

ok i just got engaged and everyone keeps asking when im getting married and i just say well whenever i can find a cheap wedding. Does anone know of any good places to have a reception for cheap that serves good italian and also should i have an engagement party to try to get some more funds for the wedding some one help me i am so confused and frazzled at this point i dont even want a wedding ill have a bbq in the back yard . And my parents house is in foreclosure so they have no money to help so that goes out the window .

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Welcome and Congrats on your engagement! I am somewhat of a newbie myself!

I definitely love the idea of an engagement party and it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Like someone else suggested have a back yard party you can make it nice with your own personal touches and if your looking for $$ gifts... Don't register anywhere before the party.

As for the wedding you can check out
Mediterranean Manor http://www.medmanor.com/
I went to a wedding there recently and was told it was very reasonable.

In response to one question - should you have an e-party to get money for the wedding. Umm, that would be a no. Parties cost money to have, and 9 times out of ten is costs more than what you get back. For my e-party I received $50 TOTAL. Since the point of the party was for his family to meet my family I was shocked to get any $$ at all.

If you want a wedding in the backyard with a barbeque, then you should do that. If you want city hall, and an italian resteraunt you should do that.

However, before you make those kinds of decisions, sit down with your FH and discuss finances - yours and his. Figure out expenses - yours and his. Figure out what each of you can realistically put in a bank account each paycheck that NEITHER of you will touch for any purpose not wedding related. Then figure out realistically, how many people absolutely positively have to be invited. (this means family and friends who will never speak to you again if they're not invited - everyone else is an extra). Once you have those two numbers (how much you can save, and how many you HAVE to invite), multiply it by $250. That is roughly how much $$ you will need to have a wedding with all the trimmings (photo, video, DJ, not band, catering hall with everything, flowers, hair, makeup, dress, tuxedos, limos). Figure out how long it will take to save that much $$, then pick a date. Then make sure that $$ actually gets put into a separate bank account for the wedding.

Can you do it for less than that? Absolutely!!! There are plenty of inexpensive but gorgeous locations on LI to have a wedding. Having your wedding on a Friday night, or a Sunday afternoon will keep costs down. Having low centerpieces instead of high one will keep costs down (doing only candles will reduce costs even further). Keeping your bridal party small will reduce costs of gifts to participants. Keeping your guest list to under 100 people will further reduce costs. Having your ceremony at the reception hall will alleviate the need for limos. Having a DJ is less expensive than a band.

First, congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with the above post! Mediterranean Manor was AMAZING for our reception. (They had great pasta, we both love Italian) When we first got engaged we never thought we could afford a Long Island wedding and thought we'd get married in Rochester, where I'm from. (We paid for our entire wedding ourselves) The outside of the hall sometimes deters women from going there because it's small. GO INSIDE!!!! Beautiful!

They were so attentive to us every time we went in, during the 18 months we had them booked. Guests tried giving us more money that night because they said we went all out and they felt they were 'cheap' with their gifts. Trust me, they weren't cheap.

We also had an engagement party, which I had never heard of before moving here. We had it at the Rye Town Park, near Playland. They have pavilions there that you can rent, you don't have to be a resident. They are right on the water and beautiful! (It was $400 to rent, last year) and then we had it catered by Ann Clairs in the Bronx. (Another $400 for 50 people). Everyone was generous. We received many gifts from our registry too.

Let me know if you have more questions.