I need help. Please tell me I'm paranoid

I've been reading online about weddings and all the planning and $$ that goes into it. So far I'm enjoying my planning and looking at and trying on dresses. Hell, even looking into the planning aspect of wedding as a side job.

Earlier tonight at dinner, me, FH and some of his work colleagues and their spouses were talking about kids, buying a home, weddings, marriage and money. One guy (2nd marriage) said that when you spend a large amount (taking out loans, etc) for weddings that you end up arguing about bills and so forth. That with his 1st wife they spent so much that he had to work overtime to pay off the bills. They argued b/c they hardly saw one another. Bills pilled up and they evenutally got divorced (they are still paying off the wedding bills). With his 2nd wedding it was really simple (just family and some friends)

When I listened to this I got a little frightened. I started to wonder are we spending too much? Should we cut back? Maybe keep the wedding
simple? Now I'm thinking we should re-vamp our wedding... They say the 1st year is the hardest, I don't want bills causing it to be any harder.

The best thing to do is to establish a budget. Think long & short term. Think about what do you want to achieve after your wedding...for example buy a house.

Take into consideration any existing debt or loans you may have.

And then most important...figure out what is truly important to you and what you can live without. Will you regret not having the wedding you dreamed of? Or would you prefer to invest it in something else for the future?

It's really a matter of personal choice. But having the same financial goals as FH will help, and discussing them is important...many people argue over money.

good luck and don't let other people scare you!!! perhaps he just picked a bad first wife

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Posted by HamptonsBride

The best thing to do is to establish a budget. Think long & short term. Think about what do you want to achieve after your wedding...for example buy a house.

Take into consideration any existing debt or loans you may have.

And then most important...figure out what is truly important to you and what you can live without. Will you regret not having the wedding you dreamed of? Or would you prefer to invest it in something else for the future?

It's really a matter of personal choice. But having the same financial goals as FH will help, and discussing them is important...many people argue over money.

good luck and don't let other people scare you!!! perhaps he just picked a bad first wife

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Well said!!! I totally agree with you.

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Posted by HamptonsBride

The best thing to do is to establish a budget. Think long & short term. Think about what do you want to achieve after your wedding...for example buy a house.

Take into consideration any existing debt or loans you may have.

And then most important...figure out what is truly important to you and what you can live without. Will you regret not having the wedding you dreamed of? Or would you prefer to invest it in something else for the future?

It's really a matter of personal choice. But having the same financial goals as FH will help, and discussing them is important...many people argue over money.

good luck and don't let other people scare you!!! perhaps he just picked a bad first wife

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WOW! Well said!!!

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Posted by HamptonsBride
good luck and don't let other people scare you!!! perhaps he just picked a bad first wife

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I totally agree..Everyine is differnt. Me and FH have said that if money becomes and issue...we will do our best to work around it. thats why we are doing some stuff early now that the funds are available. Just oace urself and plan.. do a little bit at a time and as long as u stay within ur budget ur guys should be fine.. dont get too worried...

Yeah, we set a budget and we plan to stick to it and pay cash as we go.
If per chance we have to charge something, then we said that we would use the money we get from the wedding to pay our debts first.
I rather start with a clean slate than start off in debt.

FH and I set up a budget. We figured out what we want to spend and how much we can save. I have existing bills - credit cards, loan, etc., so my whole thing was not to create more debt. We are paying cash for everything. What's the point!!!! It only causes arguments afterwards.

So my advice to you is set up a budget, figure out how much you want to spend. Believe me there are ways to have a beautiful big wedding without going totally overboard.

You are not paranoid you are being cautious and I don't blame you.

Good luck!!!

I don't think you are being paranoid. I think we all get a little crazy at times with this whole wedding thing. At first I thought I was spending too much also but my parents reminded me of all I accomplished and I deserve this.
Definitely set a budget. I went over my budget already but I am cutting back on other things like making my own invitations, favors, etc. and my parents are helping me a great deal financially thank God. But just think positive. Work hard and know that marriage is not easy but as long as you guys love each other and willing to compromise at times you can make it through everything..

Peace and love,
Lisa