My mom says she doesnt wanna celebrate new years eve this year..which in all honesty, no one in the family does including me because of our loss this past year.
But, I cannot leave her sitting at home, I would never! So we went food shopping last night and bought a whole bunch of appetizer like stuff and dessers and I thought I could just serve apps all night and have it like a 'eat fest'
I have no plans of celebrating when the ball drops this year but now I think my mom is upset with me. I think she thinks I dont care like she does and that I wanna 'celebrate.'
I dont, I just want some sort of normalcy for tonight because I think doing nothing at all is even more depressing. Do you think I am wrong...should I have just let it go all together??
Honest responses please!
Lunatrek
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I think what you're doing is right. But everyone's grieving process is different... so your mom sounds like she's having a tougher time moving on. I understand where you are coming from. Maybe you can find a 'happy medium'?
I wish you and your family a very Happy and peaceful New Year!
shelzyp
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I think you should let her not celebrate, if she wants to be alone, then let her be alone. Everyone gireves in their own way.
june262004
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I agree I think ure are right. 2004 will be better. Happy New year!!
Stacey1403
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
Yikes that's a tough one.
I don't think you are wrong but I can't even imagine how your Mom is feeling. She probably sees it as still 'celebrating'. Just try to be supportive and take what she says today with a grain of salt, because she is hurting and I'm sure doesn't mean it.
Also you are a wonderful daughter to her from all you have posted about your situation, so don't worry
MrsTC
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I am being honest here, if it were my mom, I would prob just honor her wishes for this year since it's been a tough one You will know in your heart when it is midnite and the start to a better year hopefully Will your hubby be there?
KarenK122
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I think you should let her do as she wishes. She probably doesn't even want to acknowledge that today is different from any other day. Let her greive in her own way but her greiving should not stop you from enjoying a few apps or a cocktail with your hubby.
Julybaby
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I feel that if she doesn't want to celebrate and be left alone, I would do that. Though, I understand that you want to be with her and let her know that she is not alone. I also understand how you want to bring a sense of normalcy to New Years' Eve. If I were in your shoes, I would also find it hard to leave her alone - I would just be full of guilt.
I don't think you were wrong in what you did - you are just trying to be a good daughter. But if it's not too late, I would let her 'celebrate' New Years' Eve in her own way, even if it means that she will be alone.
Sasha96
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Re: I need HONEST opinions!
I would probably let her do what she wanted, but put the option out there that she doesn't have to be alone. My mother is finding it so lonely too. We are having here here for Chinese food and then she's heading home (she doesn't like to be out late anyway and never did anything on NYE anyway). We are going by some friend's houses. I don't feel guilty going out and I don't think she thinks I shouldn't go either. You have to do what you feel is best for each of you. Sometimes things don't quite work out the way you want them to and you have to learn from that, in the least. Wish your family all the best!
