i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
RENEE92405
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i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
OUr invitation ( which has not been printed yet) reads something along the lines of.... Jane smith and JOhn doe together with our parents invite you to share with us.....
The return address and response card are addressed to my future in-laws at their home where my FH still lives. Should we not have done it that way? My mother says it looks like his family is hosting the wedding since the response card is going to them. Meanwhile his family is paying for more than half of this wedding with myself paying for the rest of it! My parents ( who do not have the $$ to help out much) gave me a Very small amount of $$. Which was very very appreciated b/c i know they don't have much. But then i can't understand why she is getting so upset when she knows she is not hosting this wedding. This is why the invitation is worded the way it is. We were trying not to upset anyone. What should i do? By the way, my parents live in Las Vegas! Sorry this was so long.... Thank you
slwh2005
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
suven
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Well, yes, it does look like your IL's are hosting. But, there's nothing wrong with that.
Your mom probably feels more embarrassed than anything else. She probably feels like it looks 'so obvious' that she's not hosting her daughter's wedding.
Your invite wording is PERFECT. Ours simply said, 'the honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of...'
But the RSVPs were addressed to my mother. But, that was MY choice. She flipped her lid that I wouldn't write the parents names on the invite itself because they 'helped' Well, sorry Charlie, but we paid for the majority of that wedding ourselves so that's that.
But, to make your mom feel better, can you address the RSVPs somewhere else? I'm not saying they need to go to HER, but could you send them elsewhere?
eta: RSVPs are a funny thing. For me, I was too embarassed to have them come to me because it made me feel like the guests would think 'OMG, that girl doesn't have anyone to help her with her wedding? Not even a place to mail an RSVP' And, I didn't want anyone's pity.
pmnkm
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
m&m
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
This was a touchy issue w/ my parents at my brothers wedding, so I think what we are doing is putting:
Mr. & Mrs. Brides' parents and Mr. & Mrs. Grooms parents invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of....
I've also seen stuff where both parents' names are at the bottom of the invite, or where they have:
bride's name, daughter of ...' and groom's name son of....
For me personally, it doesn't matter to me that the guests know who paid for what, its more of a sign of respect for the parents.
Stacey04
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree. Have them sent to you. Even if you live at home you can have your and FH's name on it.
nov04LIbride
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by pmnkm
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
Me too! You will probably want to keep track of them anyway. Do you still live with your parents, so if you put your address you feel like it will look like they are hosting?
icequeen4700
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
out of respect, we put both parents names on the invites although neither family contributed to the weding. on the response cards we put our address which his mother actually cried about because she wanted people to think that she hosted the wedding
Lastminute
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
I would have the RSVP cards sent to you then you wont be upsetting anyone. Parents are very traditional when it comes to weddings and I believe its traditional that the RSVP cards go to the brides house.
Good luck!
melissaandsean
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by nov04LIbride
Posted by pmnkm
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
Me too! You will probably want to keep track of them anyway. Do you still live with your parents, so if you put your address you feel like it will look like they are hosting?
I definitely think this is the best option.
jimmysgrl
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by melissaandsean
Posted by nov04LIbride
Posted by pmnkm
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
Me too! You will probably want to keep track of them anyway. Do you still live with your parents, so if you put your address you feel like it will look like they are hosting?
I definitely think this is the best option.
Definitely agree!
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
You should hav ethem go to your address. Besides, don't you want to get excited when the responses come in?!??! I'm super excited about that!
Pmpkn087
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Honestly, when I reply to someone's wedding, I don't even look to see where the response is being mailed to. I live with my FH and we are paying for the wedding, but I had them sent to my mom's address, but it has my name. I guess I just wrote her address because that is where I will be doing most of the planning for the seating and all that stuff.
boobobunny
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
My RSVP's are coming back to me at my house....I thought it silly to send them to my mother's or MIL's since I am the one who needs to keep track of who is coming and who is not.
JacnRob729
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by pmnkm
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
I agree as well!
OctRo05
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
When we selected our invites, the owner told us the response typically is returned to the bride. That was my intention before she mailed it to us, but she was 'helping' us with etiquette.
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by pmnkm
Posted by slwh2005
Can you have the response cards go to you at your address?
I agree!
We are doing this too, having the response cards coming back to us, and not my parents. Even though my parents are paying for the majority of the wedding, FH and I are WAY more organized than either set of parents. Plus, I imagine its kind of fun getting the responses directly rather than hearing them second hand.
AJsMommy122
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Re: i need invitation help....mom is upset....sorry this is long
Posted by Pmpkn087
Honestly, when I reply to someone's wedding, I don't even look to see where the response is being mailed to. I live with my FH and we are paying for the wedding, but I had them sent to my mom's address, but it has my name. I guess I just wrote her address because that is where I will be doing most of the planning for the seating and all that stuff.
