i need my 07er's help on wedding ettiquet

Does anyone know where I can find wedding ettiquet about cancelled weddings and what to do about bridesmaids dresses?

I bought watters and watters dresses from netbirde (great place BTW) in store the girls would have paid 355.00 I got them for 190.00 which the bridal party all prepaid (I didn't have money to lay out...nor Do I have it now) BUt since the wedding has been cancelled I am wondering what do I do....give Them the dresses and let them figure it out, or wait until I can figure a way to sell them? Or do I have to give them my money?
Please help either reply or FM me
thanks

BTW i miss you lady's i was a 7-7-07
Oh and these BM dresse have been on craigs list and e-bay and the only reason i am posting is b/c you all have been a wonderful help in the past and i have two of the bridesmaids asking for their money back (one of which is dating exFH brother)

Do not know the proper etiquette for this situation. Just wanted to say sorry about the wedding

I am so sorry you are in this situation!!!! on cancelling your wedding and having to worry about the BM dresses.

I honestly have no idea what the proper ettiquette is. THe only thing I can do is put myself in your BM shoes and think of how I would feel/want this resolved... This is probably NOT what you want to hear, but if I paid $200 for a BM dress and my friend cancelled her wedding, I would want my money back. It really wouldn't be fair for the BM to have shelled out the money for your wedding and then have no use for them. I kinda take it like this - if someone had already sent you a wedding gift, you wouldn't keep the gift since you cancelled your wedding. Same thing with the cost of the dresses.

Since you have been trying to sell them and have not been able to, I would say to give the girls the money for the dresses. It really has to suckkk, especially if you don't have the money, but I think it's only fair to your friends. Maybe you can speak to them and come to some sort of arrangement on payments or pay them for half or ... I don't know.

I'm so sorry about the wedding, if you need anything, we're here.

As far as the dresses go, that's a tough situation. This happened to a friend of mine (she was the BM in the cancelled wedding) - the brides mother gave all of the girls their money back and let them keep the dresses anyway. My friend ended up cutting the dress and wearing it to some other events.

Thanks for the help I really wasn't sure how to think of all of this being that they are making out on the deal for several reasons one they didn't pay full cost for the dress, they didn't have to worry about paying for a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and batch party adventures oh and not to mention the hotel room and travel expensive.......if The wedding had taken place they would have spent a lot more than 190.00.....i truly appreciate everyone's thoughts I guess I was looking for help in some links or if someone read in a wedding magazine the right thing to do......please Keep posting to let me know thanks.

Well you can post on the 08, 09 and 10 boards to see if anyone would be interested in the dresses your girls purchased.

I'm so sorry to hear about your wedding. Better now then later, that is for sure.

Try The Knot.com also. Best of luck.

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Posted by Montegin05

Thanks for the help I really wasn't sure how to think of all of this being that they are making out on the deal for several reasons one they didn't pay full cost for the dress, they didn't have to worry about paying for a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and batch party adventures oh and not to mention the hotel room and travel expensive.......if The wedding had taken place they would have spent a lot more than 190.00.....i truly appreciate everyone's thoughts I guess I was looking for help in some links or if someone read in a wedding magazine the right thing to do......please Keep posting to let me know thanks.

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Someone on your BHB post pasted something she found online about cancelled weddings - not sure if you saw that.

I just wanted to say, though, that you mention that your friends got a great deal on the dresses and don't have to pay for all these wedding things - but you're missing the point - they didn't luck out on not having to spend money on these things... the wedding was cancelled. So why is it ok for them to have spent $200 on a dress for a wedding that isn't happening? I honestly feel bad for your situation because no one wants to be in your shoes and I really honestly hope it all works out for you. It suckkks that you have to be stressed about money when I'm sure there's other stuff going on. I just feel like your friends have a right to want their money back since they have no use for the dresses. Hopefully you can both come to an agreement.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope that all works out well for you..

In answer to your question, the proper thing to do is to give your girls back their money. You can try to sell the dresses yourself and make back some of your money but they should not be responsible for any costs. I know that you feel they are saving money but in all fairness they were willing to support you and your pending nuptuals because they are your friends. They should not incur costs when your decision has been changed.

I understand your dilema but I feel the right thing to do is to reinburse your girls.

If you need to talk FM me.

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

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Posted by Montegin05

Thanks for the help I really wasn't sure how to think of all of this being that they are making out on the deal for several reasons one they didn't pay full cost for the dress, they didn't have to worry about paying for a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and batch party adventures oh and not to mention the hotel room and travel expensive.......if The wedding had taken place they would have spent a lot more than 190.00.....i truly appreciate everyone's thoughts I guess I was looking for help in some links or if someone read in a wedding magazine the right thing to do......please Keep posting to let me know thanks.

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Someone on your BHB post pasted something she found online about cancelled weddings - not sure if you saw that.

I just wanted to say, though, that you mention that your friends got a great deal on the dresses and don't have to pay for all these wedding things - but you're missing the point - they didn't luck out on not having to spend money on these things... the wedding was cancelled. So why is it ok for them to have spent $200 on a dress for a wedding that isn't happening? I honestly feel bad for your situation because no one wants to be in your shoes and I really honestly hope it all works out for you. It suckkks that you have to be stressed about money when I'm sure there's other stuff going on. I just feel like your friends have a right to want their money back since they have no use for the dresses. Hopefully you can both come to an agreement.

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Yes i do hear what your saying and It's just a difficult situation and out of the 9 girls involved only 2 are asking and i will try and get them their money as soon as i can.....i was just making sure i was doing the right thing...

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Posted by Montegin05

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

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Posted by Montegin05

Thanks for the help I really wasn't sure how to think of all of this being that they are making out on the deal for several reasons one they didn't pay full cost for the dress, they didn't have to worry about paying for a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and batch party adventures oh and not to mention the hotel room and travel expensive.......if The wedding had taken place they would have spent a lot more than 190.00.....i truly appreciate everyone's thoughts I guess I was looking for help in some links or if someone read in a wedding magazine the right thing to do......please Keep posting to let me know thanks.

---

Someone on your BHB post pasted something she found online about cancelled weddings - not sure if you saw that.

I just wanted to say, though, that you mention that your friends got a great deal on the dresses and don't have to pay for all these wedding things - but you're missing the point - they didn't luck out on not having to spend money on these things... the wedding was cancelled. So why is it ok for them to have spent $200 on a dress for a wedding that isn't happening? I honestly feel bad for your situation because no one wants to be in your shoes and I really honestly hope it all works out for you. It suckkks that you have to be stressed about money when I'm sure there's other stuff going on. I just feel like your friends have a right to want their money back since they have no use for the dresses. Hopefully you can both come to an agreement.

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Yes i do hear what your saying and It's just a difficult situation and out of the 9 girls involved only 2 are asking and i will try and get them their money as soon as i can.....i was just making sure i was doing the right thing...

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I KNOW you're in a tough situation and I feel really bad for you! Many !