So today is FH's birthday. Should be a happy event, right? Well it's not. Why not? Because FMIL arranged for FH's Grandmother to be buried TODAY!! Grandma Emmy only wanted to be waked for one day. FMIL had it one night and one whole day. Because of that and because there are no burials on Sunday, it's going to happen in a few hours.
How should I handle his birthday? Do I give him his present today or do I wait until tomorrow??? Or what else could I do? Weather permitting I'm having a BBQ for him on Saturday.
TIA
Clover23
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
Why don't you just ask him how he feels about it? Can't go wrong that way I think...
Good luck!
meganbrandon
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
i had to go to a burial on FH's birthday on 8/5 this year too... it wasnt a very fun day. His birthday was also on a wednesday so it was hard in the middle of the week. We just went out to a late dinner (even though i ate at the reception after the funeral) and then celebrated the following weekend. At least for my FH, it was an insignificant birthday and he didnt really care if we celebrated it.... I think a BBQ on saturday is nice... just acknowledge his birthday in a small private way tonight... HTH :)
GR2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
I would wait to see how the day goes. I am sure you don't want the day to pass without acknowledging it at all.... If he's having a difficult time of it maybe just make him a nice dinner tonight or order his favorite food to be brought in and give him his card and tell him you have a gift for him and see if he wants to open it or wait until tomorrow.
If he seems to be ok (some people are so good at handling and understanding death, I am not one of them...) then after everything calms down today give him his gift and maybe just celebrate quietly, dinner, a bottle of wine and his gift. You still want to be respectful of his Grandmother's passing.
Don't know if this helps... I usually am terrible in dealing with situations surrounding these kinds of things...
JenBill61210
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
Posted by Clover23
Why don't you just ask him how he feels about it? Can't go wrong that way I think...
Good luck!
ITA
Lsorrent
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
Posted by JenBill61210
Posted by Clover23
Why don't you just ask him how he feels about it? Can't go wrong that way I think...
Good luck!
ITA
I also agree. I'd just ask him what he wants to do.
Why don't you just ask him how he feels about it? Can't go wrong that way I think...
Good luck!
ITA
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
I would just see how the day goes and feel him out. Also I agree with the other girls about just asking him. Good luck!
TheFutureMrsPM
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
I would talk to him and see if he is in the mood for bday celebrations and gifts. Maybe give a little extra TLC, make breakfast for him, pack his lunch tonight for work tomorrow, etc
MarjorieFrank
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
Posted by Clover23
Why don't you just ask him how he feels about it? Can't go wrong that way I think...
Good luck!
ITA. I think you know him the best, and you know his relationship with the deceased, to gauge if he would feel up for some celebrating.
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
I would takl to him about how he feels about celebrating his birthday today just the two of you if he says he doesn't feel like it then wait until Saturday and treat Saturday as his birthday
mariedsgn
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
I'm so sorry about this I would see how the day goes, and ask your FH how/when he wants to celebrate his special day.
christine2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
this is a tough situation. i agree with the other girls. you should talk to him about it & see how he feels.
Kimbiz1
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some advice please
Thanks so much for your input ladies.
Today was incredibly difficult for him (okay and me too.) We are just watching/napping through the NASCAR race from yesterday.
I'm going to celebrate in a big way tomorrow as if his birthday was 8/18. He's really wierded out by the fact that his grandmother was waked in the 'Federick' room and that she was buried on his birthday.
