i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

hi girls...just need some advice...my fiance & i have been together for 3 yrs, got engaged over xmas, getting married 09/06...the last month, i feel like hes very distant...not sure if its over his family issues that are going on, nervous about the wedding, $ concerns, or something else....i told him if we werent living together & i didnt trust him, id think he was cheating--thats how weird hes being...he insists that nothing is wrong, of course, god forbid we should talk about anything :) but thats never been an issue, we can always talk about anything...but ive been having dreams too the last 2 nites about him saying hes calling off the wedding b/c hes with someone else...think i could just be doing this to myself, even in my dreams? making up something thats not there? hes the only one ive ever been with that i can trust so i dont know why im thinking this all of a sudden...we've always been so close & i feel really 'disconnected' from him the last month, we havent had sex in about 3 wks which is unusual, so maybe that has something to do with it, i dont know, i just dont know what to think at this point? any objective ideas? sorry for babbling but i just need help...thanks!!

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

well, we finally went out last weekend & ended up getting into a minor car accident...what luck im having lately, huh? ugh!! now im leaving to come back up there (i live in nc now) for a few days & i hate leaving like that...hope we can talk it out before i go (of course, he thinks theres nothing wrong) but i can tell there is, hes different, u know? errr....also, we live together, so we're always spending time together, i thought maybe he just needs some space, some alone time, but he said no....i dont know, im out of ideas at this point....living down here in nc, is boring!! theres nothing really for us to do....ugh

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Sorry your date wasen't too good, hope nobody was hurt, but try it again. My FH told me the other night that he has been missing me, since we don't live together, work schedules, school, and now wedding plans we've been so busy! Maybe try a fun date night when things seem tense. We haven't had a real date in a month. So last night we decide to focus on eachother, we went to the beach before sunset, we each brought a special dinner for the other one. It was really nice, we talked a lot about everthing, we just snuggled and focused on each other. Then we played mini golf. . . always fun. Hope everyhting works out for you.

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

im trying to ingrain into his brain that those little romantic things he USED TO do for me still matter & i still need him to do it now & then (believe me, im tired too & i dont always want to, but sometimes would be nice, u know?) i asked if he only did that for me to 'hook' me & now that we're together he doesnt think that he still needs to do that stuff....NOT TRUE...i said i need that stuff every once in a while, some candles, maybe an occasional massage...(maybe some syrup, lol)...but since we moved in together (over a yr ago now), hes 'tried' to massage me once, but stopped after 2 min b/c his fingers hurt...GMAB!!! im trying to help him help our relationship b/c he just doesnt get it on his own apparently (hes 25 & im 30, yes 30, UGH!)...he needs guidance sometimes, god help me...gotta luv him....lol....

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

i really dont know whats wrong at this point....he says nothing...of course....it started about a month ago for a week, then it did go away, but now the last 2 wks its back again, thought it was just male pms the 1st time but now its back, i have no idea....my bad dreams arent helping either, not sure what thats about....i have no clue...wish i did....

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

you might just need to spend some time out with your girlfriends kinda get your mind off of it. It is a stressful time for everyone especially for you guys since you are apart. Relax i am sure everything will work out.

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Don't let your dreams interfear and make you more worried. I know it's wierd I was having dreams that FI was cheating on me but I know he'd never.

Sometimes it's just them and they need to figure things out for themselves. Do you live together? I had a similar problem, we saw each other every day and we decided we needed some 'alone' time sometimes. I hope everything works out for you.

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Maybe plan a weekend or a night away, just the 2 of you. I have found that sometimes FH and I just fall into a rut where we coexist, but sort of drift from each other....I think the stresses from work, family, wedding, etc. just sometimes get in the way. It definitely happens to people, you just need to find a way to reconnect. Good luck!

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

yes we do live together...we were going down to a condo at the beach once a month for the weekend but have stopped, we're trying to save some $; now im going up to ny for labor day weekend, he's staying here...we both work full time, then i go to school at night, by the time i get home, hes in bed already, it stinks...but on the weekend we spend some time together...it'll all work itself out i guess, im just worried hes having 2nd thoughts since hes been so distant, i hate not feeling 'connected' like we used to be hes not cuddly anymore, seems to care about whats on the tv more than me, listen to this, i tried to cuddle, went behind him while he was laying bed, kissed his ear & just laid there for a second, all he did was put the tv louder b/c he couldnt hear it since i was breathing in his ear...what the hell? HOW RUDE! then of course when he wants 'something' he annoys me until he gets it like a little kid...i keep trying to tell him to get over that b/c its not just him him him....theres gotta be some me me me too! lately, its not either...& we're not even married yet....eesh!

& hes into that damn playstation 2 which he can play for hours...its like, HELLO??? IM OVER HERE!! sometimes i just wanna throw it out the window.....but i was nice, he wanted to buy a new game so i said fine (i handle the $ :) i gave a little, now its his turn!

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Maybe you coming up to NY will be a good thing. It will give him some time to himself and I'm sure he'll miss you while you're gone. Does he spend any time with the guys? Do his friends have girlfriends, fiances, wives, etc? Maybe he feels like his life is changing and he's just trying to adjust.

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

Re: i need some girl talk...not really wedding related...

stephanief: youre down here too? where? we're in raleigh....he really doesnt have any guy friends down here yet except for some at work, but they live in durham. said theyre married & prob couldnt come out anyway...said when we get a house he'll invite them over but not while we're in the apt..no idea why...he does need some guy time...he has a brother down here but hes not 'allowed' to do anything b/c his wife has his you-know-whats...i cant stand that....he better miss me while im gone! lol