Very good friends of ours are expecting their first child in March. With the holidays approaching, we have always gotten them 'a little something' and last year, instead of buying 'a little something' for me and DH - they bought for Paul (which is TOTALLY okay by me...I think that's how it should be once babies arrive - holidays are more for kids anyway).
I am thinking I might like to get them something for the new baby that is soon to arrive....but, these friends are Jewish and I have a vague memory of someone telling me that the belief in the Jewish faith is that it's bad luck to have ANYTHING in the house for the baby until after its born? Can anyone verify if this is true? I definitely don't want to offend them OR cause them saddness or grief by breaking a custom/tradition. They are not Orthodox Jewish, but they still celebrate all the Jewish holidays, and it's important to me to respect the beliefs of their faith. Thanks in advance for any help!
LisaW
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
Yes, this is true (at least according to my mom who also told me Jewish people don't give out favors at weddings @@) and we are Reform.
This is why Jewish women don't have showers.
ChristineC68
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
I asked my coworker...
'Yes, it is true. They can certainly buy something for the baby and let the parents know they have something but they understand that due to jewish tradition nothing comes into the house. Everyone has their own belief and it could be that they don't want to bring furniture into the house but small things are ok. They mught just keep things in the garage or at a parents house too. '
Jenn P
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
I'm in a similar situation. I have a Jewish coworker/friend who's expecting in February and I strongly doubt she is returning after her 12 weeks so I'll be mailing her a gift. I'm not sure that we're close enough to really keep in touch after she leaves.
Anyway, one of my closest girlfriends is Jewish and I consulted her on this. She said even the more liberal Jewish people do follow this rule. Doesn't matter if it's a big or small gift.
I'm sure your friend will realize that you are honoring her custom and not neglecting the holiday. Like you said, you can always just explain your intentions to her.
Misha
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
All true, I am a very liberal Jew (obviously since I married a Catholic ) and I would not allow anything in the house that was for the baby. We ordered furniture ahead of time, but had it delivered after baby was born. MIL bought the going home outfit so that wasn't in the house either...
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
Claud- you could get them a book about parenting as a holiday gift or even a beautiful children's lit book for them to read now to the baby. Scott and I read to the baby now. But I know that we were never allowed to throw any baby showers at work for any of the Jewish moms/dads.
Old world Italians also believe this. My mom wasn't allowed to have anything in the house for me until I was born. Everything was kept at my grandma's house.
MSCJLK
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
This all depends on how supersitious you are.. you can have a showeer but can not bring anything in the house rom it.. If not a custom thng and it is not written anywhere .. it is just something that opassed down from generation after generation. My sister had two showers and my best friend had the babies entire room set up before he was born. Not having a baby shower also comes from the jewish Yenta who said we are not supposed to have wedding showers... I would get them maybe a gift certificate for a portart after the baby is born of a book about Jewish Mothers.. my MIL got the book for someone called Jewish Mothers... the complete giude to bringing home baby
octobergirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
Its definitely true, but people practice it to varying degrees. Some people will accept gifts, but not allow them into the home. I know people who stored everything they got at their shower at their parents houses until the baby arrived.
Its very thoughtful of you to want to get something, and I'm sure they'd be touched by it. You can also just ask them in advance if they would mind getting something prior to the birth too.
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
Well, I know she's not registered yet, AND storing things at Grandma's house is not an option b/c they live far away from BOTH sets of grandparents....so, I'll have to think of something that they might need or find useful now...like the Baby Bargains book or something...thanks everyone!
I am in a similar situation...our friends are due 1/4....I've been lazy about finishing the blanket since I still have time...but I will have it packed up and ready o be sent as soon as I get the word...
I would just give them a bottle of wine (to enjoy after the baby - even champagne?) and then tell them that baby's gift is waiting for him/her
princess99
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need some help re: Jewish customs...
I would maybe get a parenting book for them now, and when the baby is born a mezzuzah ( It blesses the room and goes in the door way of the room) for the babys room, you can find them in Yussels' or any reputable Jewish store, or maybe even Fortunoff. When the baby is born if it is girl they have a baby naming and of it is a boy a bris-circumcision there is usually a party afterwards and you can give them the gift then, or at the hospital when you are visiting new mom and dad and baby. Also, a good gift after the baby is born is $$ in increments of 18.00, this is good luck and considered chai in Hebrew, you can give 18.00, or 36.00, or 48.00,etc.
