FH and I have been dating for 4 years. We were engaged on 8/1/12 and booked our wedding for 3/1/13 in November of 2012.
FBIL and his girlfriend have been dating for 9 years. They were engaged a few years ago, but broke off the engagement shortly after. They worked things out, but never got 're-engaged.' Well - not until this month.
I posted about this before, they just announced that they're getting married in Georgia - 8 weeks before my wedding. I was upset, but decided I'd deal with it, make it work, and focus on my plans. Well, that was until now. They have a date - december 27th. TWO DAYS after christmas. And I also have a dress fitting scheduled for that day.
This wouldn't be the end of the world if FH and I didn't live in Rochester. My fittings are scheduled at RK Bridal and I anticipate a lot of back and forth (7 hrs each way) in the weeks before the wedding. At this point - I could *try* and reschedule my dress fitting, but that means I have to go from Rochester to Manhattan to Georgia either a day or two before christmas or a day or two before new years - and be ready for work on Jan 2nd! The thought stresses me.
Is it mean if I don't go to their wedding? I told FBIL that there was a good chance FH would be attending alone if they got married in Georgia around the holidays. I even mentioned my fitting on the 27th. (I know I'm not their main concern when planning - but they did know.) FH is fine with me staying in NY and getting things done while I have the chance to spend a few days on LI.
What do you girls think? Am I going to be the b**** that didn't go FBILs wedding? Or is it okay if I sit this one out?
P.S. - FIL's are SO NOT HAPPY about the timing of this wedding (they haven't said anything to FBIL, but FH and I know how they really feel!)
Sdegennaro2
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If I were you I wouldn't go since your FH is fine with it. You have to worry about your own wedding and too have to travel somewhere two days after Christmas and a few weeks before your wedding is crazy! I would just not go you don't need to stress yourself out more since those weeks before the wedding your going to be running around trying to get things done! They should understand!
MarryTheNight24
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Are they originally from NY and are most of the guests coming from NY? It's two days after Christmas. I say don't go. They know you have things going on with your own wedding. When people get married two days after Christmas in a far away place it makes me think they don't want a lot of people to be there anyway. Don't feel bad. I wouldn't.
futurearias
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I think that the day they picked two days after christmas is not jus inconsiderate for you since you will be deep in last minute stuff but for everyone, especially who ever needs to travel. I think you should sleep on it and really decide what will be best, either way you do not want to regret it. I understand your fustration but def. breathe and make sure you have your head straight while deciding.
jassy119
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ITA with what the other girls just said. You shouldn't have to stress about this. You will have enough going on for your own wedding that you need to focus on. If they can't understand then that is on them. Your FH is fine with it so that is all that matters.
LisaReyes
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Posted by MarryTheNight24
Are they originally from NY and are most of the guests coming from NY? It's two days after Christmas. I say don't go. They know you have things going on with your own wedding. When people get married two days after Christmas in a far away place it makes me think they don't want a lot of people to be there anyway. Don't feel bad. I wouldn't.
They're both from NY, but a lot of her family has moved to Georgia. So I understand why it's happening down there, it's just bad timing.
Serenalee13
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I would sit it out too. Especially since FH is ok with it. I have gone to a few weddings alone because FH just could not get off from work. I went to my Aunt's wedding last year in Florida without him because we needed him to stay home and keep working. Financially it would've really put us behind to take a week off of work. You have your wedding coming up which they knew about and 2 days after Christmas?! I feel like they know a lot of people won't be able to make that.
mattandjess2013
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I think they are being incredibly inconsiderate to EVERYONE. Expecting people to travel to Georgia 2 days after Christmas? That's not only annoying in terms of having to actually travel, but the airfare and whatnot are going to be super expensive. I definitely wouldn't go, especially if FH & FILs are okay with it.
nyrvixen
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didn't you say she has a job that only allows her to have certain times of the year off? I wouldn't be so upset with her and the day they picked. They must have picked it for a reason. As far as not going I wouldn't tell then it's because you have a dress fitting scheduled for that day. If you really feel like going will take away from your time planning your wedding then just simply state that you will be on Long Island at the time so that you could finish some planning for the wedding.
DB2013
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I completely agree as well. If I was you I wouldn't go either. Just as the other ladies have said, to have everyone travel two days after Christmas on top of everything is crazy! You need to be concerned with your own wedding!
JulesMarie27
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Are you close with FH's parents? I know FH doesn't care if you go or not, but would they be upset/disappointed/hold it over your head forever if you didn't attend? Only reason I ask is b/c that would totally happen to me LOL
LisaReyes
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Posted by JulesMarie27
Are you close with FH's parents? I know FH doesn't care if you go or not, but would they be upset/disappointed/hold it over your head forever if you didn't attend? Only reason I ask is b/c that would totally happen to me LOL
All of you bring up a ton of good points. I think I'm going to talk to FILs about it when it gets a little closer. I'm going to be straight forward and ask them if they think it's rude or if it makes them upset if I don't go.
Soon2Bee
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I don't think it would be terrible not to go. When you pick that time of year you're aware that it's hard for people. We would up with three days after christmas because it was the time of year we wanted (because that's the only time our large families come together), where we wanted, and what we could afford. We know it's hard and have made sure everyone knew that we would understand if they couldnt make it they would be there with us in spirit.
As long as FH is okay and understands they will too. If you want them at your wedding and it's that important try to reschedule your fitting but if its absolutly impossible chances are they knew going into it that some people wouldn't be able to make it.
linda_art
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The most important thing here is your fittings. You have them scheduled way too early. I was March 16 and waited until almost the end of Jan and I had 4 fittings instead of 3! So, push it into Jan. It sucks to arrange it around them but dont make this a bigger headache than it needs to be. I promise when its that close to your wedding you will have so much other stuff to do and going on, that you dont want to be stressing over that. So, unless Jan 8th and there on is so packed and you cant do the commute, you should def do it then. Also, us MArch brides have it easier bc we are off season, therefore there are more appointments available for fittings then there would be in the later months. Its all gonna work out!
PS. you asked for un-biased! LOL
LisaReyes
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The problem is that I am seven hours from the bridal shop. We scheduled them at times when I would already be on long island for wedding related events.
Edit: I've actually been really sorting this out in my brain all week. I think I was hoping that if I saw enough people say, 'don't go!' - I'd feel better about not going. However, in my heart, I know that two wrongs don't a make a right, just like TWO future sisters disregarding each other's weddings is so wrong.
I'm going to make my best effort to get down there. I spoke with RK bridal on the phone and I'm pretty upset with their lack of flexibility - I may just go elsewhere for my fittings.
Also - another mini-vent: they told FH that they're doing gray tuxes and blue dresses. SAME AS FH AND I. (and yes, they knew this. FBIL went to put a deposit on his gray/navy tux.) I give up.
