My mom annoyed me last night. My FI and I have not finanlized our wedding date yet, but most likely it will be Novemeber 11th. I really want a fall wedding and we got the best deal at the place we want to book for that date. So she calls me to tell me that she thinks November might be too late in the year to have the wedding cause the weather and scenery probably won't be very nice at that time. This really bothered me because I had told her that was when we got the best deal. Our parents can't really afford to help us and so we have to plan this wedding on a pretty strict budget. It is bothering me that she is critizing when we are planning on having it when she is not helping out with the cost (which is fine) and she knows that we are on a budget!
MissingTheBGene
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
Tell her that you appreciate her input, but both you and your FI discussed it and you both like this time of year and it is more feasible for the budget that you two established.
I'm sorry your already getting feedback like this, unfortunately, it will only get worse. Just remember to smile and say 'Thanks I didn't think of that' and brush it off, or say 'We haven't decided on that, but once we do I'll definitely look into it' or something to that effect. You'll get hit from all angles on this, start practicing the art of 'deflecting' LOL.
Good luck and remember it's your and your FI's wedding, no one else's. Have fun!
MissingTheBGene
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
By the way, welcome to LIW if I hadn't said it before! (no coffee in me yet! LOL)
JanuaryBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
I'm sorry that she's being critical.
Seriously, November weddings are so beautiful, you won't have anything to worry about.
iffer042373
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
Hey I totally understand what your going through I had to change my date a few time cuz my FMIL was being a pain in the butt. I first wanted it in Feb. and she made a big deal about the weather then I wanted it in November but FH sister sfather and stepmom are going away so that was out. FMIL was like whats with all the winter months don't you know it can snow and have bad weather. I told her that I dont' have that many OOT guests so the wweather isn't that much of a concern for me most people live around the area of the reception hall. Idon't care if alot of people show up to the church. FH didn't want to deal with the stress of his mother and neither did I so we both agreed to do it in September and his mother had a problem with the date cuz its his fathers b-day and his mother was like your step father isn't going to like that too much I was like listen this is the date things are booked and thats thats. I can't please everyone FH and I are the only ones that need to be happy.
So see I totally understand what your going through
Blu-ize
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
You may feel the urge to be accommodating to all including your mom and dad. Resist the urge now. It will only get worse. Be nice, but tell her that you love her involvement and you like her feedback, but you and your FH's wishes and desires come first. Do it now.
Also, welcome!
mtdr1106
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
We have the same wedding date!!! I am also getting married on November 11th 2006 -We chose our date because it was the one month we didn't disagree on - but in thinking back - and the banquet manager confirmed this - we have been having such mild fall seasons. If you remember this past Novemeber - we had some days in the 60's. Our banquet manager said that in this past novemeber you were still able to use the outside grounds and everything. so to answer your question - you do have the right to be upset by the negative feedback from your mother - but no matter what the weather the day of your wedding - at the end you'll be married!!
don't let her or anyone take that from you both. plan your wedding how you want - its your money - and if your happy with Novemeber 11th (I AM) book it!!
LuckyMe
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
How about doing a search in reviews on November weddings and show your mom the pics. I know there are plenty of beautiful weddings that girls have had this past fall.
hmpena
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
I am sorry that people are making you feel bad. It's really tough when someone close to you has only critical things to say. My father kept complaining about our January wedding and I finally said to him outright,'Who's paying for this wedding? I am.' He hasn't mentioned it since. Even if it is chilly, you will have a beautiful day. Stand firm and enjoy your planning.
MayBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
Just b/c a parent is not or cannot help with a wedding does not mean you should not take their input into planning! Wedding costs are outrageous and to expect a parent to not provide input into a son/daughter wedding b/c they cannot foot the bill is very selfish! I understand that it is your day and it is your way...but maybe just tell them that you appreciate their input but this is what you want! A parent may not be able to pay for their child's wedding but that does not mean it is any less inportant to them! JMO By the way, my in-laws are being very generous financially and my mother cannot afford even her own dress, but I do ask my mom for input on everything!!
AJsMommy122
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
I feel your pain. My mom and MIL both had something to say about the time of year we picked...
I said ' Ok I'll get married whatever month you want just as long as you cut me a check for the price difference'
They both shut up real quick and never mentioned it again.
glinda_goodwitch
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
I feel your pain. My mom and MIL both had something to say about the time of year we picked...
I said ' Ok I'll get married whatever month you want just as long as you cut me a check for the price difference'
They both shut up real quick and never mentioned it again.
That's awesome! When someone says something unreasonable, I am a big fan of replying with something so reasonable that there is NO way they can contest it. That shuts them up really quick
annaanddom
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need to complain about my mom!
Thanks for all your input girls. I know I shouldn't really take it to heart, especially since has a tendency to be critical in general. In the end, I know she trusts my judgements and will be happy with whatever makes me happy.
