I should never have asked her, I wasn't going to. HUGE MISTAKE on my end.
-Been friends w/ her for over 10 years. -She got married in 01' ( I was in her wedding) She now has a house, dog, 17 month old, etc. -We've lost touch (& things in common) a few years back. -We talk on the phone about once a month, which is usually 5 minutes of small talk (haven't heard from her within the last month). -See each other about 3 times a year. -We were at a baby shower earlier in April. She sat on one side of the room & me on the other. We basically said hello & goodbye.
I am going to break the news to her within the next month or so. Has anyone had (or is having) a similar situation? I would so appreciate any feedback...
Many, many thanks!!
mosh913
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I had a similar situation, but unlike yours, mine took place from a fight/misunderstanding. So this girl and her husband are no longer in the wedding party, and we don't speak to them. It sucks because we were really close, but then you have to get on with your life. You can't let it ruin what's supposed to be one of the best times in your life. Good luck!
JimmysBride
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Well, I didn't fire my BM... we came to mutual understanding that it was for the best if she wasn't in my BP due to her pregnancy. But I do know how uncomfortable and sad it is to have to even think about firing a BM.
My suggestion is that you tell her that for economic reasons, you are no longer able to have as large a bridal party as you wanted to originally have. Be gentle and let her know that you still feel close to her even though you don't see each other much anymore and that you wish you could keep her in, but you chose to cut her because (IF she asks why her) you know that she has alot more going on in her life right now (baby, husband, dog, house, etc) than the other girls.... or something like that.
Good luck!
Janine24
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I would be honest with her... I am sure she feels the same way as you...
Valentinegirl
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I hope it works out!
akanini
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Posted by JimmysBride
Well, I didn't fire my BM... we came to mutual understanding that it was for the best if she wasn't in my BP due to her pregnancy. But I do know how uncomfortable and sad it is to have to even think about firing a BM.
My suggestion is that you tell her that for economic reasons, you are no longer able to have as large a bridal party as you wanted to originally have. Be gentle and let her know that you still feel close to her even though you don't see each other much anymore and that you wish you could keep her in, but you chose to cut her because (IF she asks why her) you know that she has alot more going on in her life right now (baby, husband, dog, house, etc) than the other girls.... or something like that.
Good luck!
This sounds like a good way to do it.
NMP411
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I have a feeling that we will end up not being friends anymore, but I'm okay with that. I was very close w/ her family too. I went to her mom's second wedding & even did a reading at her sister's. Can I tell you that her mom has made some snide remarks the last couple of times I saw her in regards to me not seeing my friend in a while!! Who acts like that?? She's one of these girls that expects everyone to come & bow down to her cause she has the whole family thing going on and us single gals are supposed to drop everything.
neesiepie
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Do I know this girl? Cause she sounds EXACTLY like one of my bridesmaids....I was in her wedding too...now she is getting divorced (2 yrs later) I talk to her once a month at most, I haven't called her in 2 months to see if she would call me and no phone call as of yet...and she is SUPPOSED TO BE MY BRIDESMAID? I see her very rarely and it's ONLY when I drive out to Massapequa (i live in Kings Park) to meet with the other BM's for lunch on Sat afternoons (the 4 of us went to H.S. together and were in each other's weddings)...she has NEVER been to visit me, even ONCE in Kings Park since I moved there from Massapequa 3 yrs ago! I honestly feel like she could care less about me and the only reason she is in my wedding is because it was ASSUMED, since we were all in each other's weddings.... SORRY...we were talking about YOU and YOUR BM... obviously...I can relate.....maybe you can TALK to this girl about how you feel before kicking her out? Maybe spend some quality time with her and do lunch and reconnect? lol....almost sounds like couples therapy, doesn't it?
Steph&Steve
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Why did you ask her in the first place? I am trying to pick my brides maids, and could use any guidance. Agian - why would yo pick some one you are not even close with anymore. Fire her? You probably shoud not have even hired her.
hsdfl
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Why do you want to fire her? Did she do something or because you feel she isn't that close anymore?
Spitzergirl
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I think the only reason why you put her in your wedding party is because she included you in hers. Out of respect. Good Luck with whatever you decide. But, only know that she and you have defintely grown apart through the years.....
NMP411
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
I know, I know. I was really leaning towards not asking her from the start, but I had seen her for a brief minute after the holidays & she was asking me about our engagement & I got caught up in excitement. A few days later I was kicking myself. Definitely one of my biggest regrets in 04!!
NMP411
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Re: I Need to Fire a Bridesmaid...
Bottom line is we really are not close anymore. She doesn't deserve the honor. I'm hoping to get up the nerve to do it this week. I'll keep all of you posted - I appreciate all of your feedback
