I need to vent

I need to vent

OMG, I have been in tears all night. MY MOH has not been there for me at all during this entire process. My wedding is this weekend and she is acting like it is a chore to come. I told her today three times on the phone that she doesn't have to come. But, she said if she doesn't come I will hold it against her and that 'she wants to come', then she called me selfish, AND then, she told me that she hopes I don't go thru what she is going thru right now which is a possible divorce. She did not come to one event, never asked about any of them, etc. My bachlorette party was this past weekend and she didn't even ask me how it was!!!! Her sister decided not to come so now I am trying to fill those seats, I was crying to her on the phone, and yelling. I have NOT been bridezilla, even my bridesmaids said that I am the nicest bride ever! Their dresses were like $130, all i asked is that they have silver shoes (any kind) and hair and makeup are optional! I don't want her coming to my wedding, but she is coming. I know after the wedding our friendship is going to be down the drain. I am so sad over this entire situation. And, I can't tell FH what happened with our conversation because he is so tired of seeing me sad over her. He keeps saying that i need to close that chapter of my life, and I agree. I feel like how dare her say such rude things to me. I know she is going thru a lot but she shouldn't try and make me come down on her level. I haven't even talked to her in weeks. We have been best friends for 20 years. And, she has been REALLY mean and rude to me! I have a Man of Honor and he asked her about the speech and she never even answered him! We are all going out to dinner on Friday night before the wedding, and she told me she will be sleeping because she has been working a lot!!!! I wish she would just not even come :(

I need to vent

I think you mentioned this friend on the boards before. Taking into consideration that she is going through some relationship issues, how has the friendship been in the past? This is a tough call given your wedding is in days. I agree with your FH that as difficult as it may be, it might be past due to close this chapter of your life with this person. Weddings seems to amplify people's true colors, for better and for worse. You should not be distracted with this at all throughout your wedding planning process and days out. I don't say this lightly at all, please trust me on that, I can totally empathize with this situation ...is this someone you really want standing up for you at such an important milestone in your life. Go with what your gut seems to be telling you.

I need to vent

Yeah, I have mentioned her before. In the past, our friendship was that we would talk all the time on the phone and know everything going on in each others lives. She has really been putting me through hell these past few months, and I just keep taking it because I KNOW she is going thru a lot and I can't even imagine what she is going thru BUT that doesn't mean she has to be so rude and mean to me. I am starting a new chapter in my life and its ashame that this all had to happen during what is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. It is too late to remove her. I have paid for her, her husband, and their daughters plates, got her gifts, bouquet etc. Her daughter is the flower girl and I don't want to take that away from her either. I keep telling myself it is only for 5 hours. I am hardly going to see her because I will be dancing and so involved with all the guests. I am really heart broken over it. Like, I feel like I just broke up with someone or something. I already told the photographer that I don't want a lot of pictures of the MOH and I. I want pictures of my mom and grandma putting my veil on etc etc etc.

I need to vent

I get what your saying about the expenses, I definitely applaud you for being considerate of the little girl in all of this. I truly wish ypu the best this coming weekend that the drama of the MOH and her husband does not overshadow your special day. Yeah, if there is a way that your family and Man of Honor,bridesmaids can serve as buffers during the night before, the day of while getting ready you will be in the clear. I know I said go with your gut andall, maybe after the wedding/honeymoon you guys can have a sit down and talk it out. Whether you work it out or end the relationship, at least you can let out your feelings, get clarity and closure.

I need to vent

Ugh, this should be the last thing you're worried about four days before your wedding. I have no advice other than to just breathe and let it all unfold the way it's supposed to. If she comes, it'll be fine, if she doesn't, even better. **hugggggsssss**

Re: I need to vent

I need to vent

Hey Guys, Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice. I really don't know what I would do without you girls.

I need to vent

I think with what she is going through in her personal life is not allowing her to be happy and present in yours. This is really not something you should have to deal with 5 days before your big day. The way you have been there for her it would only be fair for her to be there for you but then again everyone handles situations differently and this may be too hard for her to deal with. Not condoning her actions whatsoever but huge plus on your part for over extending yourself and trying to accommodate her needs in hopes making it a little easier for her to be a part of your day. Reaching out to your photographer and giving him the heads up of limiting pictures with her was a good idea and remember other than her you will be surrounded by family and friends that are and can be happy for you on your special day. Easier said than done but do not allow her to take this moment from you. This is something that can definitely be addressed after the dust has settled. Have an amazing day and enjoy every moment. Big hug!!!!! Ssssqqquuueeeeeezzzzzzeeeeeeeeeee