I need to vent about my Baby Shower...

Someone had asked if I had one recently, and I'm sorry, I can't remember who... but I thought I would vent a little if that's alright? Well, my overview thought is that I am very upset and disappointed about it. I think I mentioned we drove up to LI from NC which is a 10 hour drive, and I was 32 weeks. Talk about uncomfortable! Anyway, my mom and sister wanted to throw a shower for us weeks ago so it would be easier on us. Now the thing is, is my mom lives near me in NC, so she needed the help from my MIL, for names and addresses, etc. Anyway, my MIL for some reason wouldn't give my mom the info she needed to send out invites. She wasn't able to go up to NY at that time (she lives out of state). Well, that turned into a big thing in itself. My sister was already planning games, decorations, fun stuff to do, etc. Well, since things didn't work out at that time, my MIL decided she was going to throw us one in NY a couple of weeks ago. Well, let's just say it seemed as if hardly any effort went into it. There was hardly any decorations, no wishing well, no diaper cake or even games. It felt like people were there just to give a gift and leave. No one from my side of the family, or friends except 1 showed up. It was so upsetting. It's still upsetting me. The thing is that I didn't get to have a Bridal Shower. We just thought people could save their money and use it towards a Baby Shower for us when we do have a baby. Everyone knew how much I REALLY wanted a baby shower. It meant so much to me. And when my sister was planning it, she was going all out. I mean even a fancy place! It felt so good that someone was going to do this for us. The one my MIL threw for us was in a basement. It was so awkward. There was some of my DH relatives, and mostly his parent's friends. It was more of a gathering for his parents to see people, not for us. And I know it's horrible, but we hardly got anything. We still need soooo much stuff!!! I know that's what it's not about, but yet it is. We can't afford everything, and everyone knows that. I got my hopes up... I thought they would of put more effort into it. I mean we drove 10 hours for this... he's also the first Grandchild and Great Grandchild!!! It still makes me upset everytime I think about it. I guess I'll never get to experience what a real baby shower is like! Thanks for letting me vent! My DH feels the same way I do, so at least it's not just me!

Oh Melissa, my heart goes out to you! As you know I am in a very similiar situation with my own baby shower. I have decided to only have one right here in Buffalo! BUT, now I am not sure I want to plan one myself and no one else is interested in planning one for me. I am also sure that family/friends from LI will not make the trip for my shower...I am not even sure my in-laws will make the trip when I have the baby!


I am sorry for what you have had to deal with! I just found out that our niece is being baptised Jan 25th on LI...at which time I will be 32 wks.

Melissa, I am so sorry this turned out the way it did. I remember your original post about whether or not you'd be able to make the trip

It sounds to me like your MIL's wishes need to take a back seat to your OWN Mom and sister. Next time there's anything to be planned...allow YOUR family to take the lead...they obviously know you better, and have your best interests at heart.

I am so sorry that you are disappointed and still in need of some important stuff for baby. Can you return any of the gifts you were given to at least get some store credit?

melissa i am so sorry. i remember your original post on this too - i also understand this kind of disappointment....

it really hurts when people don't reach out the way you would. it's so frustrating and makes you feel so silly. it can be really painful.

feel better - and try to just let it go - it helps that your husband agrees....

You have all right to feel how you feel and all fun and games aside the shower is to help the new parents out and shower the new parents and baby with gifts, so don't feel bad that you were expecting things. NO one throws a shower and not expect gifts. Then you could have stayed home for free. What a shame. I feel bad for you. If your mom and sister want to do it after the fact it is never too late to do it.

I am so sorry that shower didn't go well, and you have a right to be upset.

I have to agree with Shamma. Your mom and sister could still plan a shower for you. I had two baby showers -- one which my mom and my aunts planned, and one that my in-laws planned. If I didn't have the shower that my mom planned, we would have been buying everything because the second shower wasn't planned very well.