I need to vent again... I'm sorry...

I need to vent again... I'm sorry...

I just can't take it anymore. I still can't find work. If I don't find something, I don't know what we'll do. We can't afford to pay our bills. And that's living in North Carolina, which is a little bit cheaper than LI. I'm so stressed out. Money has become such an issue. Besides coming up with $10-15,000 for the main wedding costs, I need to pay for the rest of my dress since it's already in, in a couple of months we need to order invitations, favors, wedding party gifts, wedding rings, wedding attire accessories, etc., on top of that we need to make two trips to LI, one to get the license, then the other to get married, the trips cost us money because we have to rent a car, our cars are older and falling apart. That's another thing, we can't afford to fix our cars, so if they go, we're screwed. Let's see what else... oh, our lease is up on our wedding day, so I don't know what we'll do then. As of now, we can't afford this place, but then I don't need the stress of moving again. This is our 3rd apartment in 3 years. I don't know, there is so many things, I could go on forever. It just really makes me feel worthless, and horrible that I can't find work. I've never had a problem before. Even working at a lousy place for less money doesn't help. Our bills are too much. We never thought about me losing my job. How are we suppose to come up with thousands and thousands of dollars in less than 8 months??? That's just for the wedding, forget about our normal cost of living expenses. Again, I'm sorry for babbling. I just needed some opinions and support other than a males. AAAaaaaaaahhhh!!! Oh yeah, my parents and my fiances parents are still unemployed too. When is something going to go right for us? Thanks for listening.////

Things will be okay

Melissa, I am sorry that things are so hard on you and your families. The economy is not great and people are losing their jobs everywhere. It doesn't matter how educated or qualified they are. Take a few deep breath. I suggest that you call a non-profit debt counciling service. Not one of those 'We'll fix your debt' places but look in your phone book and call the non-profit one. They can help you set up easier payment plans on your bills and help you stay afloat. I have had friends that did the same thing.
Also, take a not so great job because some money is better than none. Have you thought about moving back to NY? Perhaps you could find work here. I am not sure what you do so I cannot say for sure but NYC does have jobs. Just an idea. Maybe you could consider moving home (with FH of course) for a few months. Lots of people do that till they find work.
Another thing, take care of yourself. If you are this stressed out it is not good for your health.

Things will be okay

I am sorry to hear about everything. I hpe everything works out ok. Are you coming up to LI weeks days before your wedding because you can get your licence upto 24 hours before you get married. So that might save a trip up here. Look into it...
I wish you all the luck

I need to vent again... I`m sorry...

This may not be what you have in mind, but in the meantime while you are looking for something else, I haave one word for you....waitress.
You will make some serious cash to hold you over until something comes along.

I need to vent again... I`m sorry...

I'm sorry to hear about all of your problems. Things will get better, they always do. It's like that expression, when it rains it poars. Did you ever think of taking out a wedding loan?? I dont know if its been suggested to you already or not. I hope all works out

I need to vent again... I`m sorry...

I am sorry to hear that things are not going so well for you right now. I am fairly new to the wedding planning process but it seems stressful enough by itself without the added burden of trying to find employment. I know it is easy for me to say that things will get better, harder for you to believe it. But they will. Things do seem to work themselves out.
On a different note, I know that you mentioned that you live in NC and are getting married on LI. I live in Boston and am planning to get married on LI. How has it been to plan a wedding in a different location from the one that you live in? I am a little apprehensive, so I would love to hear how your experience has been.
I hope that things get brighter for you very soon.

coselige

Well, so far in a year we have made 2 wedding trips to LI. The last one being over Christmas. I think it's a little harder doing it from long distance. My trips up there have been hectic. But you know it gets done, because you already have appointments set and you know by the time you get back to where you live, you know who you want as far as vendors go. Actually, my fiance and I booked all of our vendors while we were there. The only vendor we booked without being in NY or seeing them was the DJ. I know it's an important part of the wedding, but I knew I wasn't going to be in NY for a while, and everyone says to book the DJ right away, because they book up fast. So, we did. We didn't jump into it though, we got a bunch of demo tapes, and by speaking with them on the phone, we knew who we wanted. Also, I never ever could of done any of this planning without this board. I found this board probably the day we decided to get married. We both grew up on Long Island, but we never had any experience with Wedding Vendors, halls, limos, etc. This board basically planned my wedding. Every vendor we have are excellent referals from this board. Every one. Now, most of my vendors are not as popular as one's mentioned on the board at this time, but when I first joined, all the brides raved about them. So, of course when we went up to LI, we had many appts. The first trip was the Photo and video guys, the priest, hall, etc., and then the second trip over Xmas was my gown, bridesmaids, tuxedos, limos, met with the DJ for the first time, saw the church, saw our new hall (we changed places), florist, checked out Bridal Suites for our wedding night... I think that was it. Anyway you get what I'm saying. So almost a year later of planning, all we have left to do is Invitations, Favors, wedding rings, honeymoon, headpiece and veil and undergarments. Overall, we had fun seeing everything. I did all the legwork, research, phone calls, etc., but my fiance went to every single appt. I think planning long distance can be stressful because you do have to cram everything in, in a certain amount of time, but when you're done, it feels good, and you get all excited because you picked your photographer, or you saw the limos. I cannot wait. I'm scared to death, but I can't wait. Have you looked into anyone yet? I really would like to recommend my vendors. Honestly, we looked at so many vendors, that I feel very good about who we chose. The only thing that stinks, is that we won't be up to LI until July. But, it's for our marriage license and probably the shower. Then about a month later we'll be married!!! This wedding stuff is so much fun. When you first set up appointments, it gets crazy because you're trying to pick correct time slots and stuff. You feel like there's not enough hours in a day. Let's just say we didn't sleep much. But when you get back, you can't wait to share what you've done, and who you've seen. When is your wedding trip to LI?

Melissa

Hi again! Thank you so much for all of your advice. I am anticipating a bit more stress involved in the planning process mostly because of the distance. I have a friend who is getting married on LI about the same time as me (summer 2003) and lives there and it is much easier for her to just book an appointment and go. Our trips will take a bit more planning. In any event, I am planning to go down to LI next weekend (Jan.18-20) both so that my fiance can meet my extended family and hopefully to look at some places. So far, I have the Island Hills Country Club in mind. I emailed one of the banquet consultants there and she quoted me a price of 55 - 65 dollars per head. That is much more reasonable and in our budget then some other places. I have also heard great things about your hall. I have heard that the Holbrook Country Club is reasonably priced and nice. I would also like to go there. I know that my mom will want to do a family thing because my fiance could not come home with me for Christmas, so I do not think we will have time to do much more than two places. How long does it typically take for an appointment? Anyway - the two that are on the top of my list are Island Hills and the Holbrook CC. What made you decide on Holbrook? Thanks again for your detailed response. It really helps to know that you can get it done!

Melissa

Well... each appointment takes no more than 30-45 min. It really depends on how much you want to look at. You could see a few if you wanted to. It doesn't take that long. We decided on Holbrook because it's cheaper than the Pt. Jeff. My whole family including me has been laid off and still unemployed, and my fiance' family is the same. They weren't going to help that much, but what they were going to help with, they can't now. So it will save us close to $5,000. It's cheaper per person, different ages are also cheaper, it includes the same, if not more food and just as good if not better, it includes centerpieces, nothing extreme but we're getting them upgraded, also, chocolate covered strawberries and Italian pastries are included. At the Port Jefferson you have to pay extra. It doesn't have a waterview but it's nice. It's not that big so you couldn't have a big wedding. We're only having 75-100 people. I think it holds 180-200. If you have any other questions let me know.

Melissa

Thanks so much for your help Melissa. I just called the Holbrook Country Club. I will be going there next weekend to take a look!