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i need to vent - help me out here!!!

jessandjimiswedding Posted:

i need to vent - help me out here!!!

so yesterday, my fi and i had plans to take my neice and nephew out. he was working late and didn't call us so i got mad at him. i let him know he could have at least had the decency to let us know so we could go without him. at this point he was an hour off schedule. so whatever, he was working late and i got mad

then after i got off the phone my mom looks at me and says 'you know, i don't think you are ready to get married. you shouldn't fight.'

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! how could my own mother say that to me??? is that normal???
metmymatch Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

i don't want to laugh, but it's kinda funny that your mom said that. mainly b/c if that is true, then my fi and i will NEVER get married! the one thing we fight the most about is situations like you described - where he works late or decides to go out for a bike ride after work or whatever and doesn't let me know so i'm sitting there with my thumb up my a*s wonder what the heck is going on. personally, and what i always say to him, i think it shows his lack of respect for my time.

anyhow, next time your mom makes a comment like that you should tell her that fighting is a sign of passion.
AlmostMrsKelly Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

hmmm... are there any other underlying problems with your mother? to me, that comment doesn't seem quite justified... i mean, a fight is a fight - we all have them. they ARE part of relationships. boys will be boys and do stupid things like not call when they should... and just because we get aggravated with them doesn't mean we shouldn't marry them!! if that were the guess, i doubt ANY girl would get married, lol
cjb88 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

hmm... if married people shouldnt fight, then i dont think anyone in this WORLD would be getting married... fights always happen between couples... it is just how you handle the making up and forgiving that matters...

DandS Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!


Posted by metmymatch

anyhow, next time your mom makes a comment like that you should tell her that fighting is a sign of passion.



I agree. Everyone fights - it is only normal! And if that is all you fight about, I think you have a very solid relationship and you are very lucky! Please try not to let your mom upset you with comments like that!
ali120206 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

I agree as well that fighting is normal.

I also have learned that it's hard for some men to absorb the concept of calling if they aren't where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there!!! We have this issue, my mom's response thankfully is get used to it!
OctoberPrincess2006 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

I see this common problem with all men actually, they never call most of the time.
tomsgirl07 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

I think fights are normal- you ever meet a couple that doesn't fight? Something's wrong with THEM!!
EGreene79 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

I think our mothers, fathers, and other older siblings feel like it's their 'responsibility' to pass on their 'wisdom.' I might tell my mom about something that FH did that is annoying, but funny, and I always get 'What you see is what you get! Make sure this is something you want to do ... blah blah blah' I'm 27, been with him for almost 3 years, living with him for over a year - I'm pretty sure I've thought this out!!! At first I'd get offended, but I think people just need to hear themselves talk sometimes
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

my parents have been together for 40 years and they have seriously never had a fight - i have never even seen them disagree

so you can imagine how my mother reacts when FH and I have screaming matches!!!!! LOL she thinks its like the worst thing - like we are moments away from calling off the engagement!

moms are just from a different era!
LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

Of course you are going to fight - its not healthy not to!
As for the not calling thing - guys are stupid like that.
kathrynlinton Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

Ok....I think fighting is healthy. The most dysfunctional relationship I was ever in involved NO fighting!!

My parents have been married for almost 35 years, and I have only heard them fight once, I am sure that they do, but they never made it that big of a deal!

And btw, that one fight, I was 23 and had just met DH and I was one the phone with him totally traumatized and he was like 'Uh,y ou are lucky!' His parents divorced when he was 5 and he ALWAYS remembers everyone fighting!
cherryj24 Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

That is a bit odd although she probably is just trying to look out for you. it is kind of funny though, if what she were saying is true we'd all be single forever i think.
jessandjimiswedding Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

ahhh....nothing better than coming back from lunch to you girls. you made me feel so much better! thanks so much!! so now i know it's not me, it's her! hahaha!
thelastresort Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

Yeah, okay. That sounds like something my mother would say. That was not an argument over anything significant or life-altering. Even if it was, hello? It happens. Your human. Ignore her. That's what I do.
ChiBaby Posted:

Re: i need to vent - help me out here!!!

Why is it so hard for guys to pick up the phone grrrr
Hmmm just laugh at your Mum that is a funny comment to say the least couples fight - we are only human...

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