I need your opinion guys!

Someone I work with that I was planning on inviting to our wedding just found out she has cancer maybe a month ago. I don't know if I'm being silly but we are sending out invites in about a month and FMIL is asking for addresses ASAP (I'm assuming for the shower) and I feel weird sending her an invitation right now..she is not even at home..she's in the hospital (recovering from surgery) and her husband is not 100% well either...I just feel like it is a weird time to send a shower or wedding invite. I also feel weird not inviting her/them and am just not sure what to do..should I ask FMIL to hold off on any invites for now and then just send her a wedding invite or at least wait until then and see what's going on?
She is such a great lady and I don't want to make her feel bad or do the wrong thing

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Posted by LR5883

Someone I work with that I was planning on inviting to our wedding just found out she has cancer maybe a month ago. I don't know if I'm being silly but we are sending out invites in about a month and FMIL is asking for addresses ASAP (I'm assuming for the shower) and I feel weird sending her an invitation right now..she is not even at home..she's in the hospital (recovering from surgery) and her husband is not 100% well either...I just feel like it is a weird time to send a shower or wedding invite. I also feel weird not inviting her/them and am just not sure what to do..should I ask FMIL to hold off on any invites for now and then just send her a wedding invite or at least wait until then and see what's going on?
She is such a great lady and I don't want to make her feel bad or do the wrong thing

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I know how you feel. We are going through something similar except it's a cousin and she is now at home battling cancer for the second time. She is not doing well at all and is expected to pass soon She knows about the wedding and everything and even mentioned coming up to NYC for the wedding when she met FH at Christmas 2004.

Our invites are going out soon and I'd really hate it to arrive after she passes or even while she is so sick. I know she and her husband are not going to come though - they live in VA.

I am leaning toward sending it just for her to have the invite.

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Posted by craigshunny

I would send the invite but, when you talk to her, let her know you completely understand if she cannot attend and that you don't expect anything from her but that you wanted her to be included in your special day.

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I totally agree!

thanks

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Posted by craigshunny

I would send the invite but, when you talk to her, let her know you completely understand if she cannot attend and that you don't expect anything from her but that you wanted her to be included in your special day.

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I completed agree.... Send the invite, you want her to know that you did think of her and at least let her decide what she wants to do.... But be completely open and tell her if she can't make it, you completely understand...

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Posted by akaMrsT

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Posted by LR5883

Someone I work with that I was planning on inviting to our wedding just found out she has cancer maybe a month ago. I don't know if I'm being silly but we are sending out invites in about a month and FMIL is asking for addresses ASAP (I'm assuming for the shower) and I feel weird sending her an invitation right now..she is not even at home..she's in the hospital (recovering from surgery) and her husband is not 100% well either...I just feel like it is a weird time to send a shower or wedding invite. I also feel weird not inviting her/them and am just not sure what to do..should I ask FMIL to hold off on any invites for now and then just send her a wedding invite or at least wait until then and see what's going on?
She is such a great lady and I don't want to make her feel bad or do the wrong thing

---

I know how you feel. We are going through something similar except it's a cousin and she is now at home battling cancer for the second time. She is not doing well at all and is expected to pass soon She knows about the wedding and everything and even mentioned coming up to NYC for the wedding when she met FH at Christmas 2004.

Our invites are going out soon and I'd really hate it to arrive after she passes or even while she is so sick. I know she and her husband are not going to come though - they live in VA.

I am leaning toward sending it just for her to have the invite.

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We ended up sending the invite to her and she passed away Her funeral is on Wednesday

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Posted by Faith

I would say absolutely send the invitation.

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I agree- but either call her or follow up with a get well card explaining that you would love for her to come etc

When My Mom was sick- she used these events as milestones- if I can just make it to this persons party, wedding etc- It meant a lot for her to be invited- b/c many people forgot about her when she was sick- or felt weird inviting her-

you will be brighting her day more then you realize

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Posted by craigshunny

I would send the invite but, when you talk to her, let her know you completely understand if she cannot attend and that you don't expect anything from her but that you wanted her to be included in your special day.

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I agree. well put

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Posted by akaMrsT

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Posted by akaMrsT

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Posted by LR5883

Someone I work with that I was planning on inviting to our wedding just found out she has cancer maybe a month ago. I don't know if I'm being silly but we are sending out invites in about a month and FMIL is asking for addresses ASAP (I'm assuming for the shower) and I feel weird sending her an invitation right now..she is not even at home..she's in the hospital (recovering from surgery) and her husband is not 100% well either...I just feel like it is a weird time to send a shower or wedding invite. I also feel weird not inviting her/them and am just not sure what to do..should I ask FMIL to hold off on any invites for now and then just send her a wedding invite or at least wait until then and see what's going on?
She is such a great lady and I don't want to make her feel bad or do the wrong thing

---

I know how you feel. We are going through something similar except it's a cousin and she is now at home battling cancer for the second time. She is not doing well at all and is expected to pass soon She knows about the wedding and everything and even mentioned coming up to NYC for the wedding when she met FH at Christmas 2004.

Our invites are going out soon and I'd really hate it to arrive after she passes or even while she is so sick. I know she and her husband are not going to come though - they live in VA.

I am leaning toward sending it just for her to have the invite.

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We ended up sending the invite to her and she passed away Her funeral is on Wednesday

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I am so sorry

we did decide to send her an invitation, btw. Thanks again, girls. I really appreciate your input on this