My father passed away over 5 years ago. It is so hard right now planning a wedding knowing he won't be there to walk me down the isle or dance with me at my wedding. My father was my best friend. We hung out all the time and he knew everything about me. When he died I felt soooo lost in this world. I really wanted to do something at the reception to remmber him. My idea was to dance a song weith jeff, after he dances with his mom, dedicated to my father. My mom told me I shouldn't do that b/c its going to make a lot of people upset. Give me your honest opinions or suggestions! Thanks!!
nifheim
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
First off It is really up to you and fh. People are going to get upset and cry and its very possible your mother maybe scared to show that side to her to everyone. But its your day so you do what you want.
My mother told fh that she felt that people who have passed on should be mentioned at a wedding. She feels a wedding is about the couple and no one else. FH's parents are both dead but for years now.. FH agreed and doesn't want to have anything. I felt he should do something but as time as gone by i respect his wishes so we will not have a memory dance/candles/etc.
MrsQ-in2007
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I think that you don't necessarily have to dance with your husband in honor of your dad, but it sounds very sweet!
You can always put a memorial candle up with his name on it, or make a mention in your program. I can't imagine how difficult it is.
ant n tilde
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
well i think you should do whatever you want in order to honor your dad
My SIL lost her dad before she married my brother - she mentioned him in the program and walked down the aisle with her mom and danced with her mom but dedicated the dance to her dad
I understand your mom's point but to be brutally honest, anyone that knows and loves you will remember that your dad isnt there at many points through out the wedding. i think a dance will be a tough moment - but if that is what you want to do. go for it.
for you! this is a tough one!
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
i am so sorry your dad isnt here, but he is watching you and will be with oyu always..
I think you should do it.. you know what, it may be sad at the moment, but after then next song will go on and it will all liven up again and you will feel great that you dedicated a moment of your day for your dad!
megzzie
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
I'm so sorry for your loss
I think it's totally up to you and your FH what you want to do. I think a dance is sweet, but if you don't want to make people upset like your mom says, a short speech about him or a memorial candle is nice.
madseason
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
Posted by ant n tilde
well i think you should do whatever you want in order to honor your dad
My SIL lost her dad before she married my brother - she mentioned him in the program and walked down the aisle with her mom and danced with her mom but dedicated the dance to her dad
I understand your mom's point but to be brutally honest, anyone that knows and loves you will remember that your dad isnt there at many points through out the wedding. i think a dance will be a tough moment - but if that is what you want to do. go for it.
for you! this is a tough one!
I agree.....I think you should do whatever youd like...or whatever you feel you need to do to honor your father in the way you would like to on your wedding day. Tears will be shed regardless so I wouldnt even think in those terms. What you suggested is beautiful and Im sure he would appreciate it!
Mrs. V 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
im sorry for your loss
failurebydsign
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
My dad passed away when I was only 1 SO I never really knew a father or even thought about it too much..I didn't want to bring it up at the wedding to make people all sad for me..SO IM having my wedding on what would have been his and my moms 35th anniversary..
And doing it in NY SO his whole family can be there..And IM also going to go see him at the cemetery in the morning
Teamhurldon
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
I'm having the SAME issue, my dad died in 2001 of a heart attack on his birthday :( I've been avoiding the wedding/dad topic with my mom, but she brought it up tonight, I asked her to walk me down the aisle and told her i planned on wearing a locket with his picture in it, and she warned me she was going to 'lose it' when she walked me down the aisle... It will be a sentimental 'lose it', but I think, I'll leave it there... People remember, I remember, and think for me and my family a dance dedicated to him with FH with just be hard... But it is what you feel comfortable with and what you feel in your heart
I'm sorry you or anybody else has to go through this either, it's really tough for a parent to not be around especially during important times in your life...
kimNanthony
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
Planning your wedding knowing that your dad cant walk you down the aisle or dance with you is definitely going to be hard. My dad passed away 5 years ago. Personally I don't think I could have a song dedicated because it would just make me too upset. Of course I will still be thinking of him on that day but in a happier way of how proud he will be. I was thinking of maybe having a table with his picture on it so he can be a part of our special day.
JeanetteandSteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
i'm so sorry your dad is no longer with you...but i think it's a beautiful idea to have a song dedicated to his memory. i don't think you should let anyone tell you what is inappropriate. if that would make you happy, do it.
if you decide not to just because someone told you not to, you might really regret it later on.
prinses777
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
I know how you feel my father passed away when I was 11, I was very close to him and he had a very sudden death... so I was in shock for years... and sometimes feel I still am.
ANYWAY... are you close with your mother? Maybe dance with your mother to your fathers favorite song?
I am lighting a memorial candle during our ceremony for him, and I will also have a picture of him in a heart frame on my bouquet.
Good Luck in which ever you choose.. just remember your father is there watching over you now matter what you choose.
xoxo
failurebydsign
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
do what you want..its your day andyou have to be happy..but just think about what it is that you may be doing
i know a girl who lost her dad too..and she did a father daughter dance alone..and the videographer super imposed her dad in the video and it looked liek they were dancing..it was nice..but also very creepy too..just keep it sweet and sincere
Fall Bride 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
Posted by MissMath
My father passed away over 5 years ago. It is so hard right now planning a wedding knowing he won't be there to walk me down the isle or dance with me at my wedding. My father was my best friend. We hung out all the time and he knew everything about me. When he died I felt soooo lost in this world. I really wanted to do something at the reception to remmber him. My idea was to dance a song weith jeff, after he dances with his mom, dedicated to my father. My mom told me I shouldn't do that b/c its going to make a lot of people upset. Give me your honest opinions or suggestions! Thanks!!
That might be a little tough on you that day... Why dont you do the charm on your bo-k with his picture.
Fall Bride 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
Posted by failurebydsign
do what you want..its your day andyou have to be happy..but just think about what it is that you may be doing
i know a girl who lost her dad too..and she did a father daughter dance alone..and the videographer super imposed her dad in the video and it looked liek they were dancing..it was nice..but also very creepy too..just keep it sweet and sincere
That is amazing
JM4EVA
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
Sorry for your loss......you should do what you feel. If you think you should dance to a song w. FH for your father, than I would do so. People will get emotional, but it shows them that he is there with you and your thinking about him.
violiz
Posted:
Member since
Re: I need your opinions...
If you're getting married in a church, usually the officiant says a prayer for any family members who have passed--so that might be a more appropriate way of commemorating your father.
Another idea, is to have older pictures of you and your family near the guestbook--pics of you and your father, your parents and future in-laws on their weddng day and whatnot.
