I really cant get over this...

im so hurt by my ex-MOH. she wrote me this sob story email explaining how her school cost more than she thought (which is odd, bc shes been a student for 5 years, the price doesnt change that much) and that she cant afford the dress (which i got for an AMAZING price, really really cheap) and the other stuff (im not asking for a shower at tavern on the green or a bach party to paris) and she said she would call me later (last night) which she didnt

im just so hurt by her lack of care in our friendship, i feel like an assshole bc i should have made my amazing BM my MOH in the first place, and im just sad...

today is a bad day

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Posted by ddnsp618

im so hurt by my ex-MOH. she wrote me this sob story email explaining how her school cost more than she thought (which is odd, bc shes been a student for 5 years, the price doesnt change that much) and that she cant afford the dress (which i got for an AMAZING price, really really cheap) and the other stuff (im not asking for a shower at tavern on the green or a bach party to paris) and she said she would call me later (last night) which she didnt

im just so hurt by her lack of care in our friendship, i feel like an assshole bc i should have made my amazing BM my MOH in the first place, and im just sad...

today is a bad day

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so sorry danielle,
Sometimes people who you thought were closest to you turn out to be the least closest.

You learn that alot espesially with the weddding. Recently I've learned it beyond and its upset me...quite alot...

But just look at those who are there for you...and foccus on them....

hi hunny
I understand that you're upset. When I got engaged, and asked my friends to be in the wedding party, my best friend at first told me that she didn't think she could be in the wedding party because she was going through a divorce, and didn't think she could be happy for me the way she should. I was hurt, very hurt actually, but I listened to her, and she came around. Sometimes, people are going through things that stress them out so much that they can't think straight. Maybe your friend is just going through a hard time, and doesn;t know how to deal with it. Maybe finances have her really overwhelmed. Talk to her. Alot of people are having financial problems right now, and although you've done everything in your power to make it the least expensive as possible, it just might be too much for her. Explain to her that you don't expect the world, and maybe everything will be alright.
But don't get personally offended yet. Give it time.

I am sorry you have to go through this.. I can totally understand why you would be hurt but try not to get too upset over it. At least now you know who your true friends are, and aren't!!!

I think you prob feel so hurt by it bc shes been a friend of yours for many years... Sometimes people just end up drifting apart and it takes something like a wedding to see that... Everything will be alright... Everything happens for a reason... Maybe you should make that BM your MOH... tell her how much she means to you, but you felt obligated to have so and so as MOH just bc shes been around forever... If it was me, I'd be honored to step up to the plate

That really is a bummer.However things happen for a reason......you did away with someone not up for the job.....& replaced her with someone you can depend on. Cheer up all will work it's way to a favorable situation.

Awww hun! I am so sorry. I don't know why but weddings really are a time when you learn your true friends. Focus on the good people around you including your wonderful BM.

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Posted by alli3131

I am may get killed for this but maybe she is really hurting too and it might have taken a lot of emotional stress for her to come to this decision. Im sure she did not wake up one day and decide. SHe probably doesn't want to call because she feels so bad about it. I think I might be the same way. Some people like to avoid conflict and the email was her way of telling you without having to deal with all the emotions. Just because she feels like she cant be a a part of your wedding does not necessarily mean she cares any less about you.

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I agree, Its totally understandable for you to be hurt. But I think she's just being honest with you about her finances. I know that when I was in school my tuition towards the end (4 years later) was $200/credit more and I was taking about 21 credits per semester. I also think that it may be harder now to get approved for school loans and scholarships. She just may feel horrible and guilty...give her a chance though

I understand why you are hurt and wish you didn't have to go through this. I know how it feels to have people that you expected so much from to really let you down. You just have to brush it off and enjoy every moment of your engagement because in the end those people are not going to matter, what matters are the people that really care for you and love you.

However let me play devils advocate for a minute. Just because she can't be in your wedding might not mean she cares any less. You should really talk to her. Call her and tell her although you are so upset she can't be part of the wedding, you are more upset because you feel it has something to do with your relationship with her. I personally know how it feels to be completely broke to the point where you can't partake in even the little things. It actually just happened when I first bought my house. I spent almost everything on the closing costs and had to save again so I couldn't go out for even one drink with friends. This might be where she is at right now. As for school, it might be more expensive... I know my school just increased and even though it is like $100 a credit I am taking 6 credits.. so it adds up.

Anyhow my point (sorry I am rambling).. is that maybe she really just can not do it and it has nothing to do with how she feels about you and your friendship. I was very upset for a while with how one of my BM's was acting and then I took a step back and looked at life through her eyes and realized that she has a hectic life and if I were in her shoes I wouldn't have time for very much either.

With all of that said, she still stinks!

pleaaase cheer up!

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Posted by JennyAPH

I understand why you are hurt and wish you didn't have to go through this. I know how it feels to have people that you expected so much from to really let you down. You just have to brush it off and enjoy every moment of your engagement because in the end those people are not going to matter, what matters are the people that really care for you and love you.

However let me play devils advocate for a minute. Just because she can't be in your wedding might not mean she cares any less. You should really talk to her. Call her and tell her although you are so upset she can't be part of the wedding, you are more upset because you feel it has something to do with your relationship with her. I personally know how it feels to be completely broke to the point where you can't partake in even the little things. It actually just happened when I first bought my house. I spent almost everything on the closing costs and had to save again so I couldn't go out for even one drink with friends. This might be where she is at right now. As for school, it might be more expensive... I know my school just increased and even though it is like $100 a credit I am taking 6 credits.. so it adds up.

Anyhow my point (sorry I am rambling).. is that maybe she really just can not do it and it has nothing to do with how she feels about you and your friendship. I was very upset for a while with how one of my BM's was acting and then I took a step back and looked at life through her eyes and realized that she has a hectic life and if I were in her shoes I wouldn't have time for very much either.

With all of that said, she still stinks!

pleaaase cheer up!

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i totally understand where you girls are coming from and if she would have said this to me when I ASKED HER 3 months ago, i would have totally understood. But she said everything was fine. Shes known for 13 months she was my MOH, its not like i just sprung it on her.

And i can't really get into our friendship leading up to this (it would take pages and pages) but she hasnt been the best friend, and lately shes been a little shady...

so unfortunately i understand that money is tight (its tight for everyone) i cant understand how she would do this to me....i just have a feeling that there is more to the story that shes not saying...

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i totally understand where you girls are coming from and if she would have said this to me when I ASKED HER 3 months ago, i would have totally understood. But she said everything was fine. Shes known for 13 months she was my MOH, its not like i just sprung it on her.

And i can't really get into our friendship leading up to this (it would take pages and pages) but she hasnt been the best friend, and lately shes been a little shady...

so unfortunately i understand that money is tight (its tight for everyone) i cant understand how she would do this to me....i just have a feeling that there is more to the story that shes not saying...

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Then in that case I take it all back except the 'she stinks part'

Seriously thought I am sorry it really *****.. Maybe its for the best.. if she hasn't been the bestest friend and shady you might not want her in your wedding anyhow.. I dunno just trying to make you feel better.

'And i can't really get into our friendship leading up to this (it would take pages and pages) but she hasnt been the best friend, and lately shes been a little shady...'

if you don't mind me asking, what was it about her that made you choose her as your MOH?

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Posted by FutureMrsC614

'And i can't really get into our friendship leading up to this (it would take pages and pages) but she hasnt been the best friend, and lately shes been a little shady...'

if you don't mind me asking, what was it about her that made you choose her as your MOH?

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i have known her for 17 years, it was just kinda assumed.. i kept thinking that she would change, but quickly learned that she wouldnt...luckily i have my sister (MatronOH) and my BM Kristin that have stepped up

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Posted by ddnsp618

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Posted by FutureMrsC614

'And i can't really get into our friendship leading up to this (it would take pages and pages) but she hasnt been the best friend, and lately shes been a little shady...'

if you don't mind me asking, what was it about her that made you choose her as your MOH?

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i have known her for 17 years, it was just kinda assumed.. i kept thinking that she would change, but quickly learned that she wouldnt...luckily i have my sister (MatronOH) and my BM Kristin that have stepped up

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well you know what? maybe it is just meant to be this way then. Unfortunatly, when you're planning a wedding, having a baby, etc, you find out who your real friends are :o( Don't get yourself too upset by it. Obviously you have plenty of people around you who love u. Lifes too short to get hot and bothered by this.

I am so sorry sweeite... some poeple are so wrapped up in their own ways and life they dont have room for anything else! either that or she is jealous! Can you ask one of your BMs to be your new MOH?

Oh Danielle, I'm so sorry. TRUST ME, I know all about bp drama. You don't deserve this!

I can kind of understand her backing out because times are hard...but I totally agree that tuition does not go up that much..it sounds fishy. I think the worst part of it all is that she told you in an email...if that were me and I had to back out because of financial reasons I would meet you face to face to explain.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this....it usually takes something big to see who your true friends are. SORRY!!!