I really need someone to talk to****Kinda personal**** and really long

Ok so this is kinda personal but i dont really know any of you personally and I live in Florida so I will probably never meet any of you anyways......So im gonna share with you and hope some of you can relate and give me so advice.

Ok so my mom and dad just split when we moved to FLA a month ago. My mom moved down here with us and my dad stayed up in NY. My dad has been having an afair for 15 years with the same woman. My mom has stuck around in hopes that he would end it. He never did so she wasted 15 years of her life sitting around for nothing.

So when we left my dad was a tptal D*CK and didnt even say good bye to my brother and I and never called any of us. I called him because I felt bad ( I am a very sensitive and emotional person).

Ok so heres my problem......My mom sits on the phone with him for hours every day but then b*tches to me and my brother and FH about him when she gets off the phone. Today she got in the mail a package from him with 4 CD's (he wouldnt give her her CD's when we left hes a very materialistic person) and a note that he signed 'Love Ya' he hasnt written that in a card since OMG i dont know when.

So now my mom was like ***!!!!! So she of course was on the phone with him tonight and when I went outside she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldnt tell me. We both always tell each other everything.

So I went off about how ridiculous this is and this is the whole reason why we left and blah blah blah.

OK so what should I/ can I do. I cant take it shes been so moody and I cant take it anymore. All she does is plays internet bingo all day and I feel like she wants to go back home to him but how could you want to be with someone whos such a liar and someone who treats you like crap by cheating on you?

I feel like Im going to lose my mom over this because if she goes back to him I dont know if I can have anything to do with her because it breaks my heart to see her go through this and I know if she would just go out and meet people she would be ok. I think a lot of this is because she doesnt like to be alone and she wants someone in her life.

Ok thats enough for now Thanks so much for listening I really dont have anyone to talk to about this with!

i hope i cant just give u some words to help u out...

honestly i see nothign 'wrong' per-se with what ur mom is doing/ feeling... its totally normal

i woudl just be there as best as u can for her. she will do wnt she needs to do on her own, all u can do is just be there and help her out...

men are confusing... thats just that...

im sorry

Wow.. tough situation-
I would say take it moment by moment. My mom and step dad dont have the best relationship either. But I try and stay out of the situation. For your own sanity it might be better to remove your self from those conversations-
I think that your dad must love and or need her! He is used to her and she is to him. So they are having a hard time adjusting.
I am sorry that you are having a rough patch. I would say to try and remove your self from the situation... as in not being a 'sounding board' for your mom.

---

Posted by Kimbalina

Wow.. tough situation-
I would say take it moment by moment. My mom and step dad dont have the best relationship either. But I try and stay out of the situation. For your own sanity it might be better to remove your self from those conversations-
I think that your dad must love and or need her! He is used to her and she is to him. So they are having a hard time adjusting.
I am sorry that you are having a rough patch. I would say to try and remove your self from the situation... as in not being a 'sounding board' for your mom.

---

I think Im just really scared that shes going to leave and go back to NY. She is my best friend and I cant live without her, but I also cant move back to NY.

---

Posted by branNjay

---

Posted by Kimbalina

Wow.. tough situation-
I would say take it moment by moment. My mom and step dad dont have the best relationship either. But I try and stay out of the situation. For your own sanity it might be better to remove your self from those conversations-
I think that your dad must love and or need her! He is used to her and she is to him. So they are having a hard time adjusting.
I am sorry that you are having a rough patch. I would say to try and remove your self from the situation... as in not being a 'sounding board' for your mom.

---

I think Im just really scared that shes going to leave and go back to NY. She is my best friend and I cant live without her, but I also cant move back to NY.

---

I don't want to come off as a ***** here. I can't even imagine how hard this situation must be for you...However, it has got to be a million times harder for your mom.

I understand that your mom is your best friend, and that you can't live without her. Trust me. I feel ya on that one.
But if she is your best friend that means you want the best for HER. not just what would be good for her as well as convenient for you.

Your mom and dad are accustomed to having eachother around. I don't know how long they were together, but it had to be a long time. I know that when I have broken up with people in the past it has taken a looong time to 'get over' them and I would still talk to them for hours.
My ex cheated on me the entire time we were together. It took a while to get used to not being with him.

Just try to be supportive. Removing yourself from the situation might be best, but hard if she's not only your mom but your best friend.
Remember, this is her life too. And she doesnt want to live without you anymore than you'd want to live without her. Sometimes, the best choice, isnt the easiest choice.

so sorry you have to see your mom go through this

as far as what you can do, well we can't control how we feel and the actions we take no matter how stupid they may seem and even if we know it we can't help it. So theres nothing you can do to make her stop feeling the way she does, the only thing you can do is be there for her. You can give her advice and try to convince to get out more often and meet new people but that would all be on her.

---

Posted by bemyyoko

---

Posted by branNjay

---

Posted by Kimbalina

Wow.. tough situation-
I would say take it moment by moment. My mom and step dad dont have the best relationship either. But I try and stay out of the situation. For your own sanity it might be better to remove your self from those conversations-
I think that your dad must love and or need her! He is used to her and she is to him. So they are having a hard time adjusting.
I am sorry that you are having a rough patch. I would say to try and remove your self from the situation... as in not being a 'sounding board' for your mom.

---

I think Im just really scared that shes going to leave and go back to NY. She is my best friend and I cant live without her, but I also cant move back to NY.

---

I don't want to come off as a ***** here. I can't even imagine how hard this situation must be for you...However, it has got to be a million times harder for your mom.

I understand that your mom is your best friend, and that you can't live without her. Trust me. I feel ya on that one.
But if she is your best friend that means you want the best for HER. not just what would be good for her as well as convenient for you.

Your mom and dad are accustomed to having eachother around. I don't know how long they were together, but it had to be a long time. I know that when I have broken up with people in the past it has taken a looong time to 'get over' them and I would still talk to them for hours.
My ex cheated on me the entire time we were together. It took a while to get used to not being with him.

Just try to be supportive. Removing yourself from the situation might be best, but hard if she's not only your mom but your best friend.
Remember, this is her life too. And she doesnt want to live without you anymore than you'd want to live without her. Sometimes, the best choice, isnt the easiest choice.

---

I completely agree with you that this is hard for her but I feel that she really might be considering going back and I know for a FACT that is not whats best for her.

---

Posted by branNjay

---

Posted by bemyyoko

---

Posted by branNjay

---

Posted by Kimbalina

Wow.. tough situation-
I would say take it moment by moment. My mom and step dad dont have the best relationship either. But I try and stay out of the situation. For your own sanity it might be better to remove your self from those conversations-
I think that your dad must love and or need her! He is used to her and she is to him. So they are having a hard time adjusting.
I am sorry that you are having a rough patch. I would say to try and remove your self from the situation... as in not being a 'sounding board' for your mom.

---

I think Im just really scared that shes going to leave and go back to NY. She is my best friend and I cant live without her, but I also cant move back to NY.

---

I don't want to come off as a ***** here. I can't even imagine how hard this situation must be for you...However, it has got to be a million times harder for your mom.

I understand that your mom is your best friend, and that you can't live without her. Trust me. I feel ya on that one.
But if she is your best friend that means you want the best for HER. not just what would be good for her as well as convenient for you.

Your mom and dad are accustomed to having eachother around. I don't know how long they were together, but it had to be a long time. I know that when I have broken up with people in the past it has taken a looong time to 'get over' them and I would still talk to them for hours.
My ex cheated on me the entire time we were together. It took a while to get used to not being with him.

Just try to be supportive. Removing yourself from the situation might be best, but hard if she's not only your mom but your best friend.
Remember, this is her life too. And she doesnt want to live without you anymore than you'd want to live without her. Sometimes, the best choice, isnt the easiest choice.

---

I completely agree with you that this is hard for her but I feel that she really might be considering going back and I know for a FACT that is not whats best for her.

---

Honestly, I know that you know her a hell of a lot better than I do.
But in the end, no one knows what's best for anyone but themselves.
Although, I do admit, that most of the time, people don't even know that much.
I know you have your mom's best interest at heart.
I do not doubt that at all.

it's just that...especially when it comes to relationships...
people can't control how they feel. your feelings are totally valid. in my opinion, your mom's actions are as well.

Maybe she just needs some time. Maybe it took your mom leaving to show your dad how much he loves/needs her.

I don't know. I am sorry you are stuck in this situation though. It has to be super hard.

I def. feel for you because your in the middle and your mom probably doesn't even realize that she's putting you there.

She's going through a very difficult time, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know how to handle it.

I would try to remove yourself from the situation as much as you can.

The only advice I have, is to try and show your mom that life goes on without him..show her how to start living FOR HERSELF now. Does she have any hobbies?? Offer to drive her to bingo nites or something..anything to get her out of the house..to meet new people and start a new life. After your with someone for so long, they become a huge part of your life..its very hard to wake up one day and not have that other half there. She's got to find her own way now..the only thing you can really do..is show her that she can do it alone.

Sorry you are going through this. I just want to point a few things out to you. First off I know that this is so very hard for you and your family but think about how hard this must be for your mom. They have been married for a very very long time and I'm sure she is trying the best to adjust to this situation. She probably figured that moving away was best for her family so that she can go back to a 'normal' life but when you are used to being around someone for so long you almost feel empty without that person. I think you just need to give her a little time right now for her to do what she feels that she needs to do. Maybe she needs a little selfish time right now. I would def stand by her right now and allow her to do that without judgement. Although I know it must be so hard for you to watch it. Just hang in t here. It's only been a month since you moved so give it some time. We are all here for you.

Maybe if Mom goes back to NY she will realize the mistake that (you know) she is making.- I mean is there a reason that you would have to go back to NY also?
If not, besides missing her like crazy and the rollercoaster relationship relationship that your parents have,,, is there any other reason that you dont want her to give this one more shot?
Also is dad still dating that woman or any other for a matter of fact?