Ok one of my BEST friends of 16 years has been dating this prick (sorry to sound so harsh) boyfriend for about 3-4 months. He is the most insecure piece of shyt i have ever witnessed in my life. She is 23 years old...she used to go out to bars and party alot and he said that he has a hard time trusting her blah blah... but she isnt like that anymore...
She actually has a curfew lol do you believe that? lol. She couldnt even come out to my bday because she said she had to be home by 12... anyways to make a long short, i asked her to be my maid of honor... and come run out with me one saturday for wedding stuff she said as long as we can get back by '3' because i gotta hang out with my bf.. i was like are you fukin kiddin me..then yest she tells me she cant be one of my bridesmaids because he dosent want her coming out with another guy and slow dancin with him.. i was like 'is he cracked out?' i told her right there on the phone that he isnt invited to the wedding and i said, you can tell him i told him that, i said hes a fukin ******* that has control of you now and wait till you get married...
I was so hurtttttttttt and upset that i felt like saying to her 'dont even bother coming to the wedding'.... what should i do?? i still am in complete shock!
asg450
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Aw I'm so sorry you're having this problem. I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes.
I'm sorry to say, but I don't know if she would be 'allowed' to go to your wedding alone. I hope your friend comes to realize the type of relationship she is in and gets rid of him.
lissylissa
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
omg i cant believe that!!! she needs to get out of that relationship ASAP!!! no good will come out of it and its only goin to get worse he is going to totally isolate her from everyone!!! wow i hope she will realize soon that this is very unhealthy!! good luck so sorry
CristinanBen2010
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!! She really needs to realize what kind of guy she is with. I woud be upset if I was you to. How dare he control her like that and she accepts it!!! I wish she would realize what shes doing with her life. I think you really need to sit down and talk to her. Make her realize what her life has become with him. Maybe she doesnt realize it yet. Your not wrong for saying what you did to her. You told her the truth. She should be your MOH, he cant tell her no!!! Good luck!!
NanandEric08
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
Thats complete BS and I am so sorry! I can't believe your friend would do that to you. I would give it sometime, maybe she will realize how insane she sounds!
Lsorrent
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and going through this. It definitely s*cks to have one of your best friends put her boyfriend over you during what's supposed to be the happiest time of your life.
But I think honestly, the more important issue at hand is your friend and her relationship. She is in the beginning stages of an abusive relationship whether she sees it or not. Having a curfew, not being 'allowed' to go places....well you can see where it's all going. I think you need to sit her down and have a talk with her about her safety. If she doesn't wake up soon, she's going to be in a lot of trouble one day. And unfortunately the only thing you can do, is be there for her when she needs you.
blondie24
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
hey girls thanks.. but unfortunately i have tried talking to her... numerous times.. i even CRIED!!! because i care and love her so much.... the same thing that is happening to her, happened to her sister.. and her sister went thru HELLL.. and shes so dumb to even see her... from what her mother told my mother, they dont even want her going out with him... they dont even know how he is!! lol thats the funny part.. they just dont get a good vibe
he is def 100 percent NOT coming to my wedding... and i am so hurt, that if she has a problem im going to tell her straight out, you know what, then you can stay home with him as well. (her parents are invited to my wedding, thats how close we are) and if her parents or my parents ask why hes not invited, guess what? im going to be a bich and tell them because of these reasons... and list them one by one ... i NEVER IN my life THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPPEN.. never ... like im still in shock... i seriously dont want to sound fuked up but she is a complete airhead and moron.. i spoke one of my other good friends who is a BM and she agrees.
Anyways, i know nothing will get thru her head and she wont listen, because her sister was the SAME exact way...my parents and her parents even BEGGED her sister to stay away from her ex bf...
UGHHHHHH... !!! i just wanna throw something ! lol
Espo22
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I wouldn't even worry from now whether or not to invite him to the wedding, they might not be together anymore by the time of your wedding.
She really needs somebody who can get through to her to sit down and talk to her. THis relationship can't go on this way and she needs to see how wrong he is for her. A curfew? that is insane, what is he her father and at this age would she even listen to her parents giving her a curfew, why listen to a BF. She has some insecurity issues or some issue she needs to deal with. She needs to see she is good enough to have a great relationship and somebody to respect and be treated right. If she is letting a man control her like this then she has other deep issues she needs to resolve. Don't fight with her now bc all that will do is push her away from those close to her and make her run to her bf and feel like he is the only one there for her. This relationship is destructive and hopefully she realizes this soon. She needs to see that a man who loves you and a healthy relationship is about trust and not a man controlling you. He obviously has his own insecurity issues to want to control her.
grkbarbie
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
she wont listen to any1 right now. its only going to 'click' when shes had enough..and that might be a longg time. its unfortunate that these dkheads exist in todays society. i feel so bad for her and for u. ur loosing some1 very close to u to a complete insecure ahole. has ur fh met him? maybe he can hang out with this dk once or twice n set him straight?
i wouldnt involve her parents right now, cuz thats going to make her resentful twds u.
maybe just flat out ask her 1 day.. when ur in the car..and just talking..ask her 'are u happy?' she will probably start crying..and maybe right then it will click..
sorry ur going thru this.
blondie24
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
ok well, talking to her WONT HELP i tried numerous times, even in person..... she says this is the only guy that she really loves and their realtionship is good (WHEN HE CONTROLS EVERYTHING obv lol) when she listens to him its good i guess, i mean i dont get it.. i told her.. i would NEVER tell my best friend of 16 years i cant come out in ur wedding because my bf or w.e says i cant... are u kiddin me?
She wanted to always date someone MUSLIM..because thats what we are.... and she says now that she found someone muslim that also her parents wanted, she dosent wanna lose that.. im like OMGGGGGGG i rather date ANYONE that isnt like this than to date someone of my own religion and from the same culture that is A COMPLETE prick!!!
I DONT KNOW IF i should start laughin from how ridiculous of a situation im in or what.... lol.
My FH goes, u know what screw it ... one less bridesmaid you have to worry about...i was going to have about 8-9 but he didnt want that much, so he goes better for me lol.... IF they last (i dont wnat to sound messed up again but she dosent need someone like that so i hope she wakes up and sees it and they dont last ) i dont care if they are engaged by next year, hes not coming. He dosent have to like me or w.e i could care less. Anyways, sorry guys, i just really needed to vent and get an idea if what im feeling saying or doing is wrong. thanks ladies <33
Espo22
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
Hopefully she wakes up and sees that this isnt a healthy relationship. YEARS ago when I was younger, I was in a relationship where they guy tried to control me. I didn't listen and would do the opposite which made it destructive bc we'd then fight about that. This relationship is still new, he is only going to get worse and right now its too short of a period for it to get to her. She is still in la la land but once that wears off and she starts missing going out and seeing her friends it will hit her.
Sorry youre dealing with this, but at this point seems like she just needs to realize it for herself. Dating someone just bc of their religion is stupid, it should be about love and how you get treated first.
JAAMS
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I'm so sorry you're going through this. :(
You said her sister went through something similiar... is there anyway you could get her sister to talk to her? Would that possibly work? Because this just sounds like a really bad scenario for anyone to be in.
Sweetie51804
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I KNOW how you feel my bestfriend boyfriend is the same way. hes very insecure .we also been bestfriend for like 18 years. n he doesnt even let her come see me. they think its all about them n i also tried to talk to her but she doesnt listen..n shes about to have ababy with him so its just going to get worst. maybe you should try and talk to her more about it. its your wedding. hes needs to get over himself.
SummerBride10
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
what an @sshole...i really hope for her sake she realizes whats going on before its too late. im sorry she cant be your MOH thats just such a sad situation
MrsC2010
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
i am sorry you are going through this and i know exactly what you are dealing with....i have a friend in the same situation. He is so controlling of her that she can't go out without him, he tells her what she can and can't wear, hardly lets her talk to any friends and he is always rude to her friends including me, etc etc. Its so sad bc she is such a beautiful, intelligent girl and deserves so much better. I have tried countless times to talk to her about it but nothing gets through to her. She has broken up with him several times and moved out...but within days she moves right back in and it starts all over again.
It makes me really sad, but this has truly hurt our friendship. She can't do anything without him so its really hard for us to hang out...she only calls me when hes not around so its rare i can even talk to her on the phone...She was my best friend and now we hardly talk and i didn't even include her in my bridal party bc of how our relationship has changed.
i wish i could knock some sense into her, but I have come to realize that there is nothing else I can do. Until she realizes that she deserves better she isnt going to leave him.Hang in there...hopefully she will realize it sooner than later
Trose
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
Hey! I am sorry your going through this! I went through something very similar at the end of last year with my cousin who is like a sister to me. She began dating some guy who was totally overwhelmed with her big family and the close relationship she and I had. He began causing drama between us (without me originally knowing why she disappeared for a little). It took 3 months of not giving a **** anymore (cause what more can you do after trying so hard!).
I would tell you to continue with your life and surround yourself with those that respect you. She should come around if she cares. She will notice the void after awhile.
Guys like that are no good and they will never be! I have continued my relationship with my cousin disregarding her bf's existence.
Good Luck
bubberflys
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
It sounds like my sister...I'm so sorry you are going through this...
My only advice, and this is what i've learned from trying to talk to my sister about the same thing is you have to let her learn her own lesson. The more you tell her how much she shouldn't be with him, the more she'll defend him and stay with him. (we're on a little over a year now). My sister actually dropped out of my bridal party completely after I told her I didn't want her to by MOH based on how she was acting b/c of him. A few weeks later she must have realized something b/c she now wants to talk to me and is back in by bridal party (not my MOH though).
Just let time pass and things may work themself out. You can't force someone to do something. You can tell them how you feel but they have to make the choices and take the steps no matter how much it may give you a headache thinking about it.
I do not plan on inviting my sisters bf to the wedding and I don't blame you if you don't invite hers. If at that time she doesn't want to come to the wedding.. well so be it. She made the choice at that point, not you.
hope everything works out okay!
iHeartMoogle
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
You have every right to be upset. If she's willing to throw away being one of your bridesmaids for a horrible bf, then you'll have to let her. Hopefully she'll realize that she made a mistake down the road... and hopefully it's sooner than later and she can still be a bridesmaid!
drivwal
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Re: I really need to vent..so pissed and upset...
I am soo sorry....maybe she will come out of her fog she's in with this guy. I'm sure that if she is serious about your friendship, she will call and tell you that she was wrong and no man should get in between two good girlfriends! I hope you feel better
