I think FMIL has an eating disorder or something

I know this may sound weird, but I think my FMIL has an eating disorder. I have been with FH for a 2 1/2 years and although his mother has always been trim, she has been REALLY thin within the last 6 months. She barely eats breakfast, skips, lunch, eats a small dinner and is weight conscious that she makes FH and his dad crazy. She seems to be struggling with the idea that she is 58 and not young enough to wear the young clothes even though her body is thin enough. She is always wearing tight fitted low cut tops. She went mother-dress shopping with my mom and my mom told me about the dress that she wanted to buy. It was very slinky, sexy, form fitting, low cut and inappropriate for a mother to wear to her son's wedding. My mother said she looked good in the dress but she suggested that FMIL bring FFIL for his opinion. He went back with her and told her that it was not appropriate and people would laugh and whisper because of her age.

What do I do with this woman? I love her, but

1) I am worried about her eating habits
2) I am worried that she is not satisfied with the very elegant mother dress she DID buy, and she will go back and buy this sexy dress and everyone will look at HER on my wedding day.


I don't know if anyone has advice. I just need to vent.

I am sorry to hear this.
What you need to be concerned about most, way more than what dress she will wear, is you FMIL's eating habits. You need to have your FH and his father talk to her about this and maybe suggest counseling. If she is having issues with aging, talking to a therapist might help. Good luck and keep us posted!

I wish I could get her to realize that she is too thin, but the problem stems back to her own mother who was severely obese. She swore when her mother got sick that she would never let herself be like that.

What is also unfortunate is that she berates FH because he has to lose weight. She is verbally abusive to FH about his weight. She can never compliment him on how he looks without patting his stomach and saying ' You look so handsome...if you could only lose this (stomach)'

When she went to visit FH's brother and SIL, she got off the plane and started telling both of them that they need to lose weight (and they weren't fat).

I feel horribly fat whenever I am there and I am worried that once FH and I are officially married and I am one of the family that she will tell me to lose weight like she tells FH's SIL.

Ugh!

I sympathize with you. Some members of my own family are very weight conscious. I consider myself to be an average weight (5'5, and 126 lbs.) but my mother and grandmother always say 'You don't want to go much more than that.' My mom is a little heavy herself, and I know she doesn't want me to have the same problems she does. I don't know what my grandma's story is though! When I was about 12 pounds more, they told me I was getting a 'little fat.' I found it to be a little annoying and hurtful.

Whatever happens, please don't let this woman lower your self esteem!

Thanks for the support. I feel like such a cow around this woman. I am dreading the time when she tells me to lose weight