So some of you may remember a while back i posted that i had choosen my MOH but was having doubts. I've known her since Jr High but she isnt really very dependable. I love her dearly but she can never keep to her word. She had been there for me emotionally and mentally and sometimes even financially when i have been in situations but if we make plans to do something together i never know if we are really going to do it until we leave.I dont have many female friends and i am closer with her than with my female cousins so i decided to ask her to be my MOH. Well i think i made a huge mistake and i think i am done with her.
Long story short, my daughter had a dance recital this past Sunday (her goddaughter). She asked me back in May to purchase 2 tickets, one for her and the other for her FH ($50). I never gave the tickets to her because the 1 time is saw her I totally forgot to bring them. I called her about 1 dozen times between sat and sun morning to find out if she wanted me to drop them off or if she wanted to meet me in the front of the place on Sunday and I would give them to her there. She never answered any of my calls so I called her FH. He said he was out but would give her the message when he got home. From his response I take it he knew nothing about the recital. Well end result I am still waiting for her to call me. She never called me back Sunday nor has she called to explain why she didn't show up. This is not the 1st or 100th time that she has left me hanging. I continue to speak to her because she is as close to a sister that I have. I don't have many female friends, none really, and I feel if I loose her I will have no one. ( I am so sad). I am really tired of waiting on her to come through.Now I am suppose to be going with her to one of her co workers bday party this sat...I feel that I shouldn't go nor should I call her and tell her I'm not going.
Cherylfrank1017
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
I am sorry this happened to you. I feel that you should be the person that you seem to be. Don't not call her out of spite. Call her, leave a message tell her how you don't appreciate her actions, you are hurt, and aren't going with her to this party on Saturday. If you don't, I think you will stew and get more angry because she hasn't called you regarding her inappropriate behavior. JMO but HTH.
PeterNina Mom
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
I know you feel bad, but if she were really your friend she wouldn't do that especially if she is your daughter's godmother. She probably disappointed her even more and that is worse then disappointing you. Try to talk to her one more time and tell her how you and if she doesn't react the way you like then you know what you have to do. If there isn't another friend you would like as your MOH then ask the cousin who you are closest to. You want to be confident and not worried on your big day about her showing up. Good luck. Liz
Iluvpoodles
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
Aww..don't feel bad. What she did was really messed up to you. Even if she is always like this you can't making excuses for people like this all the time. All she had to do was pick up a phone or even text you. What kind of explanation besides somone dying could she come up with to justify this? I don't have many female friends either but your not alone and it's really not that big of a deal. You'll make new friends eventually. You have a famil and your FH who is prob you're best friend. I think you need to email her where you can see if she read it or not about how you're feeling and find out why she did what she did. I can't tell you to kick her out of the wedding bc I don't know the history between you 2. I had a friend growing up who used to pull crap like this too. We are no longer friends and I don't miss her one bit. It gets tired after a while. I'd email her if I was you.
grkbarbie
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
sorry youre going through this..
but i think u should stand up for yourself and let her have it. honestly, it lokos like shes not doing much of anythign to help u.. so what do u REALLY have to loose? a half azzed friendship? u need a friend FULL TIME not whenever she feels like it.
its the same with relationships..when women date. sometimes they settle, just to have some1... your situation is similar. i wouldnt settle on some1 out of default.
stand up for urself. you and your daughter deserve that respect.
drivwal
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
I think you should call her and ask her to meet up with you so you guys can talk face to face about what you are feeling. She might be the type of person that has no idea (as ridiculous as it may sound some people are like that) that she is causing you this stress. If you speak to her and she is not sorry or willing to try to step up, then maybe you should ask her if being in the wedding party is too much for her to handle. If you are going to say that, but want to keep the friendship, I would suggest that you try to say it like 'maybe there is too much for you to plan out since you are getting married yourself and you have a lot on your plate right now'. Something that won't make her feel like you are kicking her to the curb but you get the point across. I'm sorry you have to deal with this stress while planning your big day. Feel better.
Tori2082
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
Sorry to hear you're going through this I think that because she means so much to you, you should talk to her about her behavior. Is she like this with other people in her life - so undependable? She might not know how much she is hurting you. It's worth it to talk to her about how your feeling. Then, I would see how she acts after that - if she makes an effort to be there for you more. If not, it might be best if you don't include her in your wedding party and make the decision if you want her in your life at all.
KerriJohnS
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
Eeek! This must be the day of deadbeat MOH's!!! I'm having my own MOH issues!
I'm sorry to hear about this.
And really all I can say right now (because I'm going through my own MOH drama right now) is this... although you feel she may be the only friend or good female friend to you... is that friendship really worth it considering all the things she's done to you and the way she hasn't responded to you and just left you flat? Is her friendship worth the saddness it ensues?? A MOH has to be one thing if not anything else... and that's DEPENDABLE!!! Clearly this isn't the case with her.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I won't say much more as my opinion is going to be jaded by my own MOH troubles!
stargazerlily
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
A few things I'd like to tell you. I felt the same way a few years ago. My only friend was just becoming a drain on my life, but I kept her close because I was afraid to lose my only friend and then have no one. Eventually it got to be too much and I let her go. Soon after I reconnected with someone from high school, I became close with other people that were in my life, and now i have a nice small group of friends. Don't keep someone in your life who doesn't belong there just to have a body to fill the role.
On the other hand....you said she has been there for you in a lot of important ways, and she is your daughters god mother. Is the bad more than the good?
QUIA
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
Posted by stargazerlily
A few things I'd like to tell you. I felt the same way a few years ago. My only friend was just becoming a drain on my life, but I kept her close because I was afraid to lose my only friend and then have no one. Eventually it got to be too much and I let her go. Soon after I reconnected with someone from high school, I became close with other people that were in my life, and now i have a nice small group of friends. Don't keep someone in your life who doesn't belong there just to have a body to fill the role.
On the other hand....you said she has been there for you in a lot of important ways, and she is your daughters god mother. Is the bad more than the good?
THIS WAS PERFECTLY SAID!!! WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING.. AND ITSS SOOO TRUE!
gonzalezm3
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
I am so sorry. Maybe you should sit with her and talk to her about your concerns.
Panamasweet
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
Thank you ladies so much. I really needed these words right now. I feel like I am acting like such a softy which is totally out of my character. Even my FH says this is crazy. Some of you said email her and tell her how I feel. I did that once before and she kind of turned it around on me. I moved to MD a few years ago because my parents were going to FL and my FH lived at home and we couldn’t afford a place in NY. We have since moved back but she mentioned how I just left her and didn’t consider her feelings. I moved due to financial reason not because I wanted to. I sent the email because I got tired of her not coming through and the last straw was I invited her and her FH over for dinner and they never showed up. I cooked this whole big meal and they nothing. I called her and she never answered her phone. I’m not sure if she is like that with her other friends. I am assuming not because she is always telling me she is going to someone’s bday party or wedding. So my thing is why is it that you can make time for everything else in your life but you BF or your godchildren.
Soon2bMrsH
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
i hear ya on this. my BF was the exact same way. (never knew if we were going out until we were in the car, i mean i would be dressed and ready to go, or on my way to her house and she would call and cancel) i confronted her many times, via email and in person, and she always made me feel like crap. i got really fed up and stopped trying, and she dissappeared, never to hear from her again. its been 3 years?? i think. crazy. i always wondered what i did wrong. its horrible to go through. but sometimes you think someone feels the same way about a friendship as you do, and they dont. JMO, and from personal experience. you cant help the fact that you had to move. she should be excited you are back. alot of my best friends moved, and its sad, but i would be estatic if they moved back. i wouldnt hold a grudge because someone moved. hope everything works out for you. stay strong!
JAAMS
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Re: I THINK I LOST MY BF AND MY MOH...............
I'm so sorry you're going through this
I've been in similiar situations, and I kinda just sat back and took it. Looking back, I wish I would've really given people a piece of my mind. You should ABSOLUTELY say something to her. A fake friend is no good.
