I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

Leelee Posted: Jul 10, 2002 08:48 PM

I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

My FSIL is at it again. The issue this time around are the shoes that the BMs are wearing. I told them to wear black shoes-pumps or sandals or whatever they already have. Their dresses are dark navy blue and floor length. Please bear in mind that this is a night time ceremony and reception. She started an arguemnt at my FH's 30th birthday dinner last week- she thinks you can't wear black with navy blue. I explained to her that it doesn't matter to me. I'm trying to save them money (they all are short on money) and to be comfortable. I told her she can go and spend money on shoes if she really wants to but it's not required. Well, after I stated my point, it turns out she basically cornered my sister and let her have an earful about it.
Question is-am I wrong for this? Is it ok to wear the black shoes?? Like I said, the dresses are long and I don't really think anyone is going to be looking at their shoes. I just don't undertstand what her deal is. What do you all think? Any advice/opinions are appreciated!!

jennbaby Posted: Jul 10, 2002 08:52 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

it is your wedding you do what you want, also you were just trying to be nice. ask the other girls in your bridal party and see what they think.

Becky Posted: Jul 10, 2002 08:53 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

Leelee, I think that wearing black and navy blue is supposed to be some sort of a fashion faux pas. However, if you don't care and you told the girls to do what they want, why does your FSIL care so much??? You did the right thing by telling her she can get navy shoes if she wants to, but you don't care. She shouldn't be giving you so much grief! Try to ignore her negativity. It doesn't sound like you can please her anyway!

Leelee Posted: Jul 10, 2002 08:54 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

Hey Jennbaby!
How are things going for you?? Good I hope and I hope you're feeling better!
The other girls are standing behind me--I guess there's always one in the crowd that has to be difficult.

JennK Posted: Jul 10, 2002 09:21 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

I agree it is your decision, you were trying to do something nice by having them save some $$ on shoes. If you are not going to see them, who cares if they are black or blue?

michele31 Posted: Jul 10, 2002 10:59 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

I personally would have asked them to get a pair of navy shoes- even payless has them for super cheap- but if you do not care then why should anyone else? You did a nice thing trying to help everyone with $$$ and she seems to just want to cause a problem.
Tell her straight out that this was your decision, NOT your sister's and if she has a problem she should ONLY take it up with you.

shamma Posted: Jul 10, 2002 11:03 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

I told my girls to wear whatever was comfortable for them. I refuse to put them thru any major expense over my wedding. I think it was rather thoughtful of you to be so considerate of your BP. Maybe your FSIL wants to pay for everyone's shoes. If anyone stresses you tell them rather nicely, when you have your wedding you can do it that way. SInce this is my wedding I choose to do it this way. Thank you for that piece of unsolicited advice tho' I bet you they will not suggest any other foolishness to you. Stand up for what you want, it is your day. Don't let anyone force their ideas and rudeness on you. How dare her. Maybe its the best that everyone has left my FI and I alone to do things our way

Hope everyting goes well for you

Happy planning

jenny11.9 Posted: Jul 10, 2002 11:07 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

i got my girls all the same black dresses. i paid for one of them (privately of course!) and told them 'any shoes, any bag, any wrap, jewelry, hairdo - whatever. ' It's easier for me that way - and i know it's easier for them. I think you did the right thing. Negativity is SUPER common when you are planning....let it roll of your back.

NuBride Posted: Jul 11, 2002 12:51 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

Absolutely NO ONE will notice, trust me. They don't even notice the Bride's shoes. I know my wedding shoes are now in the trash.

Marnles Posted: Jul 11, 2002 01:05 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

I agree - it should be up to you, not them. And how funny that you were trying to make it easier for them, and still, complaints. I also told my girls to wear whatever black shoes they want - the only request I had was that the toes should be closed...but if they wear a wrap, how they wear their hair, etc is completely up to them. Good luck with it - I don't think you're doing anything wrong!!

Leelee Posted: Jul 11, 2002 01:18 PM

Re: I think I'm going to go insane..(venting-long)

Thanks girls! You all made me feel a lot better!! I never heard that you can't wear black shoes with navy blue. I just wish she would back off. But I guess this is going to be something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.
Thanks again!!