I was just told I was...

... an insensitive and terrible bride by one of my bridesmaids because of the craziness going on with choosing a BM dress. I STILL do not have BM dresses (yes, this is primarily my fault). I am not very interested in choosing the dresses. I thought my bridal party would be more interested in choosing them and then I would choose the final... but.... it has not worked that way. My BMs are scattered a bit and conflicts seem to happen when I try to coordinate with each group. I feel like this is a double-edged sword.

Anyway, I decided to choose a few dresses and send them to the BP for their thoughts and one of my BMs (MOH actually) said I was insensitive and a terrible bride for doing things this way. She said I was mean for putting her in a position where she felt the need to tell me her new weight and measurements since I was favoring strapless or thin straped dresses. She told me she would be miserable at the wedding/reception. I then emailed her new dresses with more coverage, etc. and decided to try to find complementary dresses to the one she pics.

Ugh! I am really NOT enjoying this. I should have delegated this out a while ago. I just want to scream!

I've been there so I feel your pain!!!

Maybe since you don't feel like choosing, your best bet might be to just choose a designer and a color and let them choose their own dresses? And just make the only rule that it has to be floor length or tea length, etc?

This way whoever doesn't want strapless doesn't have to get it, and everyone is happy!!

And no your are not being insensitive. I did the same thing with my BMs and the only thing they did was snap at me for giving them too many options!!

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Posted by BKtoLI

I've been there so I feel your pain!!!

Maybe since you don't feel like choosing, your best bet might be to just choose a designer and a color and let them choose their own dresses? And just make the only rule that it has to be floor length or tea length, etc?

This way whoever doesn't want strapless doesn't have to get it, and everyone is happy!!

And no your are not being insensitive. I did the same thing with my BMs and the only thing they did was snap at me for giving them too many options!!

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That's exactly what they are doing to me. I sent them a list of dresses as asked them to narrow it down to three and I'd pick the final one. Well, they ripped me a new a$$hole. I wish there was a dress that I really liked but I'm somewhat indifferent. I mean, I do have style preferences but I really didn't want to have to do this. I took forever deciding on my own damn dress. I know I'm the bride but... now they're yelling at me saying I waited too long and they won't have enough time for alterations and will have to run around with their busy schedules... I should have gotten married in the islands... I swear... summer dresses and flip flops!

I did the same and all my BM are satisfied.

I chose Bari Jay in 'cloud' and they chose the styles. My 2 MOH chose to wear long dresses to distinguish themselves. the rest are in tea length

Pic of the samples are in my album, however they are all not tin the right color.

They'll have time for alterations, my wedding is a month after yours, I ordered my dresses last month, and they should be in August 18th (I'd order soon though).

I like the idea of having them choose different dresses in the same color and fabric by the same designer (that was my original plan until the girls agreed on the same dress). It would make your life a lot easier.

I also have not ordered my BM's dresses yet, and everywhere I go they tell me I have time (but they do say I should order soon). So I do not think that getting the alterations will be on a tight schedule.

I am sorry that they are giving you a hard time! I would do what the other girl's said and pick a designer and color, and tell them to pick the dress that they feel most comfortable. If you like the 2 piece dresses, they can all pick a different top, and wear the same bottom.

Good Luck!!!!!

All of the BMs were interested for me...but one. And that one was the one whining about the choice...well, she NEVER bothered to voice even the slightest opinion until after the decision was made...and the girls were all back and forth on 3 dresses so finally i just picked one and said this is the one, any thoughts? 4 out of 5 girls said they loved it. 3 weeks later when i order them all, #5 decides to b*tch and moan that she hates it...i ignored her.

lalalalalalalalalala


sorry they are being difficult sweetie...but that seems to be what many of them do!

Tell her to suck it up...shes the BRIDESMAID not the Bride!!!!

You choose whatever you want, however you want to go about it- its Y o U r D a Y Y o U r
W a Y !!!!!!

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Posted by lacey&mark

can i make a suggestion? dont everything by email. i know it seems easy and convenient to find pics you like and to send them out to them, but wheres the warmth and fun in choosing a dress that way? set up a date and time to meet at a bridal shop with a big selection in BM dresses and whoever can go can go, whoever cant can live with the decision made! go with a color, design, and price range in mind and choose a dress together. as far as strapless dresses go, my lucky BM with a bigger chest is uncomfy in them, but it just seemed that everything we liked was strapless. i great compromise was having her get detatchable straps, so she will match the girls at the ceremony and for pics, but can party hard on the dance floor with her straps so she doesnt feel uncomfy dancing. she was very happy with this! you could also go for seperates so they can chose the style they feel works for their body. good luck to you and i hope that you have your decision soon!

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I pointed out dresses with detachable straps but she snapped at me saying they were pointless.

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Posted by JPC1125

Tell her to suck it up...shes the BRIDESMAID not the Bride!!!!

You choose whatever you want, however you want to go about it- its Y o U r D a Y Y o U r
W a Y !!!!!!

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It's just been one thing after another. I suggested halter tops, she said they wouldn't fit her body because she has a short torso. I decide to look at two pieces, she complains that they would fit wrong on her body or her boobs would still pop out of the top. She says she is a 38D and 162 and she says she will probubly get bigger since she wants to get pregnant by August. We live about 1.5 hours from each other and I suggested we get together in PA with two of the other BMs and she complained about the cost of gas, etc.

I feel like she's full of negative energy!

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Posted by cmc

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Posted by JPC1125

Tell her to suck it up...shes the BRIDESMAID not the Bride!!!!

You choose whatever you want, however you want to go about it- its Y o U r D a Y Y o U r
W a Y !!!!!!

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It's just been one thing after another. I suggested halter tops, she said they wouldn't fit her body because she has a short torso. I decide to look at two pieces, she complains that they would fit wrong on her body or her boobs would still pop out of the top. She says she is a 38D and 162 and she says she will probubly get bigger since she wants to get pregnant by August. We live about 1.5 hours from each other and I suggested we get together in PA with two of the other BMs and she complained about the cost of gas, etc.

I feel like she's full of negative energy!

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Sounds like she doesn't want to be in the BP at all. Especially if she is 'planning' on getting pregnant no later than August. I would ask her straight out if she is still willing to take on the responsibility and if not - kick her out.

As for the actual dress dilemna for the other girls - Goldi1021 chose Bill Levkoff (I think), navy blue satin and told all her girls to pick the dress they liked the best that flattered their figure. All 5 girls picked different dresses, and her BP looked beautiful (although not as beautiful as the bride herself). Run a search for her name and you can see the dresses all together.