I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Becca2010 Posted: Oct 12, 2010 10:47 PM

I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

and I stumbled upon a retainer agreement for a prenuptial agreement.

Stupid me thought he would forget about all that (we've fought about it before)

I guess I'll sign it...

Cookie De La Devine Posted: Oct 12, 2010 10:54 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Being were teenagers and all I dont think you can legaly consent to an aggreement.. I kid, Id put the convo out on why you feel strongly abou tnot signing and let him do so too, Has he asked to sign recently

GR2010 Posted: Oct 12, 2010 10:55 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

DH asked about one when we first got engaged and I refused. He never brought it up again but it was a VERY TOUCHY subject. Don't bring it up and maybe he won't.

Becca2010 Posted: Oct 12, 2010 11:03 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Posted by Cookie De La Devine

Being were teenagers and all I dont think you can legaly consent to an aggreement.. I kid, Id put the convo out on why you feel strongly abou tnot signing and let him do so too, Has he asked to sign recently

The last time we discussed/argued about it was about 6-7 months ago and neither of us has brought it up since. He has property in his name and he says he needs to protect himself 'just in case.' I understand, but I disagree with it.

He has a cousin that went through a NASTY divorce and so the family wants to take precautions.

He hasn't signed the retainer yet, it was written on 9/29. It's possible he might not ask in the end (It's VERY expensive!), but the chances seem unlikely to me.

In the meantime, I'll keep an eye on the drawer...

mariedsgn Posted: Oct 12, 2010 11:17 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

I would hide it!

jhines4684 Posted: Oct 12, 2010 11:28 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

geez.

I'd hide it too.

Becca2010 Posted: Oct 12, 2010 11:34 PM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Posted by jhines4684

geez.

I'd hide it too.

I thought about that, but if he ever asked me about it I'd laugh and then he'd yell at me for hiding it.

MrsSx2 Posted: Oct 13, 2010 01:14 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Posted by mariedsgn

I would hide it!

me too! Only a few more weeks to go.

Sorry you have to worry about this Becca

latinaj Posted: Oct 13, 2010 01:26 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

calm down honey...i would maybe bring it up and talk about it?

Cookie De La Devine Posted: Oct 13, 2010 02:09 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

I really dont know what I would do in this instance FH would know it was me if it were to go missing or on fire. What is he waiting for - its down to the wire, I really hope for you he doesnt bring i t up and stress you girl

SoontobeGallagher Posted: Oct 13, 2010 06:51 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

I'm sorry Becca. Maybe he forgot about it. You only have a few weeks left. Maybe he just put in there the last time you guys argued about it.

elp6421 Posted: Oct 13, 2010 07:39 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

I am sorry girl! I'm not sure what I would do, but I think I would have to bring it up. It seems unfair that he would wait to spring this on you so close to the wedding........

ourwedding9510 Posted: Oct 13, 2010 08:09 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Sorry Becca! I'm sure you have enough going on right now that you needed to find this. I would bring it up but first think about it one more time. If his family and him just want to take precautions why not just sign it. My thoughts on a pre-nup is that if you plan on being together forever and it makes the other person happy, why not just sign it? It's just going to sit in a drawer, collecting dust and will mean nothing. He's just watching his back and to make him happy, talk to him about it 1 more time, explain why it upsets you, let him explain one more time, take a day to think it over each of you and then go back and discuss again. JUST NO YELLING!

fdnybride163 Posted: Oct 13, 2010 08:11 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

honestly its a catch 22... i mean I know going into our marriage that was was his before is his after. I dont ever want to go into a marriage thinking about divorce, but the sad situation is it is happening a lot more than we think. and I dont want to live life with rose colored glasses thinking everything will forever and always be as wonderful as the day we got married.

If signing a piece of paper that states his house that he owned 4 yrs before we were even dating is going to make him happy and give him peace of mind then I would do it. (I would wonder for a little bit why he wouldnt trust us, but it happens all the time)

*Im NOT starting anything I just have dealt with the realities of divorce w family and friends and have seen what it does when its bitter and nasty and resentful*

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Oct 13, 2010 08:27 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

You have FM

brittndave Posted: Oct 13, 2010 09:29 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

if it's just about the property that's in his name then i would sign it. things happen and he just wants to protect what's his (that he had before the two of you got married) and not jointly yours so i don't really see the problem with signing it. it in no way means that he's thinking you'll get divorced someday, and it's nothing against you. things happen, and since his family has already experienced a bad divorce i can understand their concern. i say just sign it and drop it - it's not worth fighting over.

Becca2010 Posted: Oct 13, 2010 09:51 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Posted by brittndave

if it's just about the property that's in his name then i would sign it. things happen and he just wants to protect what's his (that he had before the two of you got married) and not jointly yours so i don't really see the problem with signing it. it in no way means that he's thinking you'll get divorced someday, and it's nothing against you. things happen, and since his family has already experienced a bad divorce i can understand their concern. i say just sign it and drop it - it's not worth fighting over.

Yeah, this is what I've been thinking. I'd never touch anything that wasn't mine anyway and if he needs me to sign something about that, then fine.

Thanks Ladies! I really appreciate all your input on this! It made me feel a lot better about signing and just putting it behind me.

brittndave Posted: Oct 13, 2010 10:22 AM

Re: I was looking for a tape measure in FH's desk...

Posted by Becca2010

Posted by brittndave

if it's just about the property that's in his name then i would sign it. things happen and he just wants to protect what's his (that he had before the two of you got married) and not jointly yours so i don't really see the problem with signing it. it in no way means that he's thinking you'll get divorced someday, and it's nothing against you. things happen, and since his family has already experienced a bad divorce i can understand their concern. i say just sign it and drop it - it's not worth fighting over.

Yeah, this is what I've been thinking. I'd never touch anything that wasn't mine anyway and if he needs me to sign something about that, then fine.

Thanks Ladies! I really appreciate all your input on this! It made me feel a lot better about signing and just putting it behind me.