Ideas for Supporting Cousin Who's Hubby is in Iraq

John's cousin just told us a few weeks ago, that her hubby was ordered to go to Baghdad for 6months. They have 2 daughters (8 and 6) and Im sure this is tough on the whole family. Its a long time to be away and it's hard (and can be lonely) juggling a household on your own.

Although he's in a very high position, we know that NO location in Baghdad is totally safe right now... (He's an attorney, and also speaks the language) so he was placed as Chief of Govt Legislation ___, (something or other forgot the whole title).

Although we are VERY proud of him, we are also, naturally afraid for his safety.

What can we do or say to his wife to offer her comfort? I know sometimes, if someone wants to be 'Strong' About a situation, they may rather not get phone calls and offers of support... So I dont want to say or do the wrong things...

I have suggested to her that we take our kids out (we live about 50 miles apart) at least once a month, so her girls can have their minds off of daddy being away 'on business' and they can enjoy time with their cousins.

Just wondering what else I can do.
Also, we can email him, so I was wondering what would be a good idea to email him? Would pics make him sad?
He's such an admirable and amazing guy.

Thanks for any ideas

I don't really have any advice for you except keep doing what you are doing, offering help with the kids, etc. Maybe take her out for lunch or shopping, etc.

My thoughts are with you.

I just found out that my brother's friend is in Kabool <---sp? He is stationed at the Embassy there. I sent him an email, hopefully I hear back from him soon.

That sounds like a good idea (about taking the kids out together). He might appreciate the pictures so he can see how big his kids are getting as well as pictures of your kids.

It sounds like you have some great ideas Anna, I say go with them. So sorry that he is over there, sending positive vibes that he comes home soon safe and sound!!

I would also suggest offering help in terms of things that husbands tend to 'normally' do around the house. Example: Mowing the lawn, car repairs, minor household repairs etc. little things like that sometimes get overlooked but the help is so welcomed.
It's great that she has you.

From my experience being over there this time last year, everything you are doing is great. The letters and packages all the time are the best. Everyone loves to get things in the mail. As far as the family left behind, this is definitely tough. But you should definitely make it clear to her that you and your family are there if she ever needs to take a break to herself to do her nails or catch up on herself. Whatever you do don't send anymore girl scout cookies, to this day I can't eat anymore

Anna I think it's really great that you are thinking of how to support your cousin and her husband. I think your ideas of taking the children out and sending email with pcitures are good ones.

Maybe you could also occasionally do something fun with your cousin alone? Like go out for coffee or get a manicure/pediure together or see a movie? Invite her over for dinner with her children, maybe for a bbq, even if it's just last minute so she knows she's not alone.

I would keep the communication with her husband very positive, let him know you are seeing each other and his children are doing well.

Also, you could say something to your cousin like 'I know this will be a very trying time for you, and I just want to let you know that I am always here for you, day and night, if you ever want to talk or need a hug or anything., and you can come to my house any time' . Sometimes we assume poeple know these things, but saying them makes them feel more secure.