If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
melbalalala
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If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Got the gorgeous invite my FIL sent for the RD last night.
She had asked us to scope out a good RD place and FH thought Italian would be great since LI has fantastic Italian restaurants.
So the entree choices? None really that Italian! One was tortellini with cream sauce but the other was like sauteed chicken, baked salmon and two others that I cant remember. Selfishly, I dont really like ANY of the entrees that she picked.
They are footing the bill, so I guess its their choice, Im just a little surprised she didnt ask us what we would like.
Just wondering how involved you guys were with your RD if your FILs were planning it?
neener1211
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
FIL's are paying for it, but I picked the place out, and picked out the menu, decor and time.
It's not to late to change the food, see if she'll change the menu. Good luck!
Katie&Chris2006
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
No input. My ILs picked the place we had my grandfather's funeral brunch at, even though I told them it would upset me very much.
brittny817
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
I soooo feel your pain Mel!!
This is the one thing FIL's are paying for so I had to give-up control which as you know isn't easy for me. We haven't picked a venue yet but they are inviting cousins, aunts, uncles..ridiculous!!!
Your FMIL made what I consider 'safe' choices. One chicken, one fish, one pasta..ect I am not crazy about tortellini in cream sauce either. Maybe you can have Nic tell his mom the pasta choice should be a little lighter??? The menu can be changed to offer penne ala vodka or linguini pomodoro instead.
ali120206
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
My ILs paid but, we had pretty much all of the input. The only request they had is that we invite DHs aunt and uncle that weren't OOT.
We picked the place, menu and sent out the invites. I kept them in the loop but, they pretty much let us have full reign with everything.
SeptBride70
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Posted by neener1211
FIL's are paying for it, but I picked the place out, and picked out the menu, decor and time.
It's not to late to change the food, see if she'll change the menu. Good luck!
Yes... We are doing the same.
Ask and see what they say about that.
melbalalala
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Posted by MrsDaniRella
Posted by neener1211
FIL's are paying for it, but I picked the place out, and picked out the menu, decor and time.
It's not to late to change the food, see if she'll change the menu. Good luck!
Yes... We are doing the same.
Ask and see what they say about that.
I dont think its changeable since all of the invites are out with the current menu.
I guess I dont want to stir the pot either.
OY!
PreshusSmurf
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsDaniRella
Posted by neener1211
FIL's are paying for it, but I picked the place out, and picked out the menu, decor and time.
It's not to late to change the food, see if she'll change the menu. Good luck!
Yes... We are doing the same.
Ask and see what they say about that.
I dont think its changeable since all of the invites are out with the current menu.
I guess I dont want to stir the pot either.
OY!
That seems odd that the invitations included the menu???
donegal419
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
FFIL will be paying but we picked out the restaurant, the menu, everything... we even sent out the invites and have been handling the RSVP's.
brittny817
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Mel, even if the choices are on the invite it doesn't matter. Wait are they asked to give their choice with a response? If not..how many times have you gone to a restaurant and they say that this particular item is not available that night or one thing is being substituted for another?? For me it happens fairly often.
If she isn't requesting that they give their food choice with a response you can totally change it.
I know you are stressing a little so I am throwing a few of these to you
natseven
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
I did all the research and picked out the place, menu and time and ran it by FMIL. She went by the place, liked it and put down the deposit. Was much easier then I thought.
hunnybunnyxoxo
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
fils are paying for the rd- Thank God! Its the only thing they are paying for...
if it were left up to them they would prob. choose an all you can eat buffet at a chinese restaurant. Thankfully they said we can pick the place. They live in NJ .. otherwise its tough having say when someone else is paying. you dont want to seem unappreciatative yet at the sametime you dont want to give up all your rights to have a say...
thats why i hate it when ils or family pay for something! heaven forbid you prefer one thing over another and then all of a sudden you become spoiled!
anyhow, my idea is if you ask your fmil politely if you make switch the tortellini with cream sauce to something more common like a penne pomodoro or penne alla vodka. -
otherwise the rest of the menu sounds fine. its better to play it safe...
melbalalala
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Posted by brittny817
Mel, even if the choices are on the invite it doesn't matter. Wait are they asked to give their choice with a response? If not..how many times have you gone to a restaurant and they say that this particular item is not available that night or one thing is being substituted for another?? For me it happens fairly often.
If she isn't requesting that they give their food choice with a response you can totally change it.
I know you are stressing a little so I am throwing a few of these to you
Yeah she is asking for a choice... which seems strange for a LI restaurant. I didnt think they would want that.
SeptBride70
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Posted by melbalalala
Posted by MrsDaniRella
Posted by neener1211
FIL's are paying for it, but I picked the place out, and picked out the menu, decor and time.
It's not to late to change the food, see if she'll change the menu. Good luck!
Yes... We are doing the same.
Ask and see what they say about that.
I dont think its changeable since all of the invites are out with the current menu.
I guess I dont want to stir the pot either.
OY!
oh that stinks
that wasn't right of them-- i guess they are trying to be nice and it's cool that they are paying but it's your RD-- shouldn't it reflect your style, personality, taste and choices?
Mikeysgirl
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
My Fil's are paying for the rehersal dinner but htey want us to do all the work. I really don't even want to think about the rehersal dinner right now. let alone plan it.
AeroJenn
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
Input...HA...what input? They're paying and we had NO input on ANYTHING. They picked the place, the time (they even made us switch the actual rehearsal time so they could do the RD when they wanted), the menu, AND the guestlist. Let me tell you....im not a happy camper.
ali120206
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Re: If FILs are paying for the RD, how much input did you have?
I guess it's a sit down meal? I think we had our RD at the same place but, we opted for one of their buffet options and it worked out really well (and is a little less $$ than the sit down one). They had a lot of italian options on that.
