If someone talks about?

Suicide how do you handle it..

Do people ever do it for attention?

I am having an issue with a GF .. She is getting mental over a breakup....

This is a difficult topic. I personally think suicide is the absolute most selfish thing someone can do. The repercussions on the family reverberate for years and years and years. The survivors beat themselves up with the what ifs, the how comes, the why didnt wes....it's a terrible thing to do to the family.

And no man, I don't care WHO he is, is worth someone killing themselves over. EVER, EVER, EVER. She needs lots of love (sounds like you're being a good friend), a lot of intervention, and a lot of listening and lots of prayer.

It may also be a cry for help or attention. Do you TRULY think she will kill herself over this guy or is she just really sad right now?

I am torn both ways bc I can't ever imagine getting like this over someone else..

Especially someone who said they never loved you and never will.. How can't you get over that?

I also feel if she WAS going to do it she would just do it and not talk about it..

I just can't figure out what to do now?

Just tell her if she needs to talk you are there for her and if she is really serious bout it
I would find one of those help line numbers if you dont know what to do

It is very hard T. One of my good friends just got dismissed from my school (in her last semester - she had 1.979 - with 3 imcompletes that the profs said they were giving her minimum of a B- but since she was beneath 2.0 they decided NOT to put her on probation - which they should have b/c she had never been on probabtion before)

Anyway - she has had issues in the past and one of her biggests ones is with her family. We think she might try to hurt herself. It is a hard postition b/c her parents are a large part of the problem. They don't believe in getting their daughter ANY help - even when she did something in the past they refused her help. We had to have a talk with her sister and get her sister to watch over her. If there is a family member you might want them to watch her, convince her to talk to someone and be there for her.

Yes I think sometimes it is not a real attempt but a cry for help. But YOU might not know which one it is - you should take it serious if this is someone you care about.

I have a friend who talks about it often. She is just getting over having brain cancer and can't come to terms with the fact this happend to her. She is most responsive to a sensitive, but matter of fact approach. I'll tell her that it's terrible that she feels this way, does she think she'd actually do it and I try to suggest reasons for her feeeling that way. It is very hard- she's in therapy. Do I think she would really do it? chances are slim. Do I think sometimes she really does want to? Yes. I just try to be her voice of reasoon and I try not to judge her. (She has been my best friend for 22 years). I think some do it for attention, yes, but some really feel that way. I think you need to ask questions so you can determine the validity, and definitely push therapy! Good luck Theresa, you are in a very difficult and volatile situation.

A friend's friend always spoke about suicide, for years and years, so it got to the point that no one took him seriously, until one day they got a phone call and he had shot himself in the head on the steps of a restaurant in town.

Sometimes threats are for attention but other times they are crys for help.

I would say it is better to take these things seriously then have to regret your decsion to not take it seriusly later.

Christine- so sorry to hear that! thats horrible
I hope its not someone I know

This subject is so hard for me, as you know, our best man committed suicide last year, and to this day, it is extremely difficult to deal with. Harder than anything b/c we just don't understand why.

The fact is your friend may very well be serious. However, the lines of communication can be a very powerful tool. I would talk to her as much as I can, and try to see where her head is really at. If you notice she STOPS talking about it and her feelings, then push more. If she is very serious she won't want anyone to try and stop her, and may quiet down about it.

The ONE thing tho' that we learned w/our friend's suicide is that if she is extremely serious and God forbid attempts this, that means there was most likely NOTHING you could have done to prevent it.
That is the sad part of it.

Hopefully, it is just a cry for attention, and I would give it to her, b/c she needs help. You may also suggest therapy to her to help her sort her feelings of sadness, and possibly despair and desperation.
There are many books on suicide and people who attempt it. Perhaps reading up on it may give you some more insight.

Good Luck, and keep us posted.

When I speak to her..

She tells me *f* you Theresa you don't understand..

I have nothing..

Meanwhile she has a GREAT job and Family..

she thinks bc she has no man she has nothing.. At times I can't figure out to feel bad and want to help or to smack her bc she is feeling sorry for herself..

She told me death is normal and if you don't think so you are mental!

You know T, people have demons in their head that noone else can hear. A person can drive themselves crazy with their own voice going back and forth in their head, telling them what a horrible life they have.

If she is convinced her life is crap, you can't make her think otherwise. She is insecure and her self esteem seems shot. she is making excuses why suicide is OK, but she needs to understand, yes, death is normal, it is guaranteed, BUT it is NOT normal to do it yourself, and take it out of God's hands.

Be a friend as you are, and try your best to convince her to get help - or force her

I had a friend, who recently called me and 2 other friends up at 3am saying that she was going to committ suicide (she was drunk, by herself, and had a bottle of pills). I called 911 because knowing her history with depression and the fact that had a plan, I knew she needed immediate help and I'm not a professional, there was nothing I could do for her.

As far as I know when someone has a psychiatric history (depression or anything else) and is talking about suicide it should be taken seriously. They also say that if a person has a plan of of action such as how (has a gun, pills), when, where that it also critical that they get help. Other warning signs are when they start giving personal belongings away and just general talk of death. Also, substance use increases the chance that someone will actually committ the act.

I know it's hard to distinguish if someone is serious, since we've all said at one time or another 'I'm going to kill myself'.

Good luck with your friend.

Theresa - You have forum mail.

Liz- so sorry.

R&T, from my experience w/ people who talk about suicide, is that they want to be helped. The issue with them is not the break-up itself, or getting let go from a job, whatever situation brought the feelings up. It's a deep insecurity that the individual really and truely feels that they have nothing and no one loves them or cares about them enough. In their minds, they really believe the world wouldn't change a bit without them here.
It's an extremely hard situation.
I'm sure your friend feels that way. Perhaps doesn't really want to think of suicide, just is deeply depressed?
My Mom has been telling me since I was a little girl, that in life- we are all really lucky if we can count our true friends on one hand! As we all go through life, I'm sure that can hold true for every single one of us. Perhaps you can point out to your friend that she does have these true blue people in her life. You sound as if you're one of these five to her.
Good luck to you and friend.

Theresa - your friend is right that death is normal - but killing oneself is NOT.

She needs to realize that if some guy told her that he didn't love her and never will, she's better off without him. Period. What does she think she will accomplish by killing herself? Saying to him 'I told you so?' It's a no-win situation for everyone, most of all, her.

Oh, gosh, T. I am so sorry that you have something like this on your mind.

Almost ten years ago, a family friend took his own life. I still miss him and hurt as if it happened yesterday. There were no warning signs...this was a man who seemed to have it all...family, friends, successful business. Who knew the demons he was fighting? It took a long, long time for our friends to realize there is nothing we could have done.

Your friend may be sending out a cry for help, but she may also be serious! Don't dismiss this as only talk!! How I wish our friend gave us a sign, even mentioned something in passing.

There are lots of suicide prevention hotlines in NY/LI. I'd recommend you call one of them and get some professional opinions and advice.

Ultimately, you are not responsible for your friend's life, but you can make a difference.

Hugs of support to you