IL trouble...

God yeah... see my top ten list baby!

You know my story, there is nothing that I share in common with his p's. I work, FMIL does nothing productive with herself; I like cats, they like to insult people who like cats, and their values are hysterical - you know the issues surrounding his son and they think that they are right and the ex is always wrong, but I've seen some nasty talk, etc. FH is the 'Marylin of the Munster's' in his family... he's so incredibly different - dad likes him a lot - I know dad cannot stand to be in his p's house other than for the Italian food but even that wasn't enough for them to go for x-mas eve. FH is aware and even makes comments about how rediculous his dad can be, but I can only go so far with comments.

That's why I made that list... I know that to you and the rest of the family some of that stuff you've heard me complain even cry about time after time... my new leaf for 2006 is to laugh about it. They aren't losing sleep why should I. They think it's all a big joke - now the jokes on them! As things were being said I just decided - I'm going to make a list of all the stupidity and share it and before any of the LIW ladies could laugh I read it over and was peeing in my pants! To see it in writing made me realize these people ARE VERY socially challenged. Makes you appreciate being socially intelligent.

Believe me - I know it's hard b/c we would never imagine disowning or detaching from our parent's, but I'm realizing that you cannot control the family that your SO comes from. I've managed to detach for different reasons from his p's and even from his son to an extent b/c FH gets defensive when he hears 'baby wasn't perfect'. You can love the man and not the family... it happens. Probably more often than not. It would be amazing to love your in-laws but your setting yourself up for disappointment if you hold yourself to that expectation. All families have skeletons in the closet - some are more willing to be open about them like ours... those like your FH's and mine's families are not and it is expressed in different ways - your FH's in their way, my FH's by rude, inappropriate comments that the commentor finds themselves amused by even if it hurts someone else. The men know what they are from. With FH I do have to be careful though b/c he does still hold loyalty to his family. He may not like what his dad did, but he's working to understand why he did it and recognizes his dad had a hard life. I have to tread lightly about the boy too as you know. So girly, get your top 10 together and make us all laugh WITH you! Seriously, I know it's a bad situation, but I'll help you guys find a place - which in all honestly, he should have done years ago from the things you've told me all along (I'm not being critical, I'm just keeping it real - if it were me I would have ran when I was 18 - and fast and never looked back, but everyone's different). But he'll get out, you'll be together and whatever will be will be.

Thanks! I don't know if anyone will laugh at my top 10 though because of the nature of it. FH does not have the attachment or loyalty to them, but he gets hurts when they do the things they do anyway, and that's what bothers me most.