I'm afraid FMIL will....

1. Walk down to Pacabell's Cannon - that's what I want and I do not want her walking to the same song. She's already done several things to make me believe this is what she wants and given the difficult time I've had along the way with EVERYTHING, I don't put this past her. What do I do if this happens? FH doesn't want to get involved and I really don't blame him.

I'm already calling the band leader to give him a heads up so he can say 'that's really not appropriate,' but if I know her, she'll retort with 'well, I'm paying half and this is what I want.'

2. I fear she will cut in on my first dance with FH. She's that crazy. My father already said he will be watching her like a hawk to make sure it doesn't happen but is there anything else I can do to ensure this won't occur?

I really don't think I'm getting ahead of myself. She has given me a hard time with EVERYTHING along the way, right down to the way I handed in my guest list to the calligrapher.

PLEASE HELP ME!

I can only imagine what you are going through. Ultimately, even though you are getting married to this man and his entire family, it is still his battle to fight out with his mother. Just because she is paying for half does not give her the right to do whatever the hell she wants. I really think you should sit down with your fiance and her and talk about things- CLEARLY! Be specific, you don't get what you want by crossing your fingers and sending mixed messages. Crazy or not, the many possibilities of what 'could' happen should not be in the back of your mind as you are trying to enjoy your first dance with your husband.

Be strong...

maybe you can hire a limo to drive her to the WRONG PLACE. Or GET LOST. OMG... I can't even imagine having to worry about this stuff! I feel so bad for you!

Seriously... ever consider hiring a DOC? They're not THAT much money, in the grand scheme of things... and she's there for YOU. She will make SURE you mom doesn't start walking to Pachelbel. You can tell her to stand guard during the first dance song. $650 for peace of mind might not be a bad idea. And YOU pay for it so the DOC is there for YOU. Really the woman has issues. I'm so sorry!!!

If she cuts in on your first dance-your FH should do something.

How does he feel about the whole thing?

Your bandleader should say something and embarass her if she does this during the first dance.

I think your Fh needs to get involved. He needs to tell his mom that you get first choice on song to walk down the aisle to and NO ONE cuts in on the Bride and groom during their first dance.

I would warn her ahead of time that if she tries to cut in on the big day you will refuse her attempt. She will look like a jerk, not you.

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Posted by BlueTulip

I think your Fh needs to get involved. He needs to tell his mom that you get first choice on song to walk down the aisle to and NO ONE cuts in on the Bride and groom during their first dance.

I would warn her ahead of time that if she tries to cut in on the big day you will refuse her attempt. She will look like a jerk, not you.

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I AGREE. FH needs to be involved and stand up to her.

there's 'she's my mother' and then there's 'omg, she's my mother, w t f is she doing???' this is definitely the latter.....she is clearly jealous of your relationship with her son and doesn't want to let go, to retaliate, she's trying to ruin AND run your wedding. DO NOT LET HER!!! my FILs are footing almost the entire bill and they have kept VERY quiet about things....here and there they offer suggestions, but have even come back behind them to say 'it is your wedding after all and it should be how you want it.'

i like the idea of hiring a limo that gets lost and the DOC ....and definitely alert both the band and the hall (maitre'd/banquet manager) as well as the wedding party to her possible antics. 20 people should be able to keep her at bay. regardless of how she does it, cutting in on the couple's first dance will look tasteless to everyone watching.