Im confused about my bridal party

Hi ladies, Im confused about my bridal party . I was told that the maid of honor is responsible for throwing the bridal shower also known as our enagement party. I spoke to some friends and family, they confirm that my enagement party is FH and I responsibility. So far I know she is responsible for the bachorlette party, what else? Forgive me Im new at this. At this point our wedding is at $60k Throwing our own enagement party will be expensive since we are having 300 guest at our wedding. What do you guys think?

Weddings are expensive, with that money I could of brought me a new car or another house, JUST KIDDING

The bridal shower and the engagement party are usually two very different things. Everyone does it differently, but usually, the engagement party is thrown sometime soon after you get engaged (within, say, 6 or 8 months of that) so that family and closer friends can celebrate the happy couple. If you're having 300 people at your wedding (WOW!) your engagement party would be considerably smaller than that. I didn't have one - we just went to a swanky lounge in NYC the night we got engaged and about 15 people were there, and that was perfect for me. Sounds like you're a bit more formal, though. In any case, the finances are totally arbitrary. My friends who had them had their parents pay for it. if you really want an engagement party but no one is throwing you one, then what else are you going to do? You pay for it. Your MOH and bridal party definitely do not. If you're throwing yourself your party and your bridal party are your best girlfriends, then sure, ask them for help in planning it, but they shouldn't be obligated to do it.

Now the bridal shower is usually given pretty close to the wedding, a month or two before. It can be planned by the bridal party or your family or you. Again, the bridal party has no obligation UNLESS you ask them to do so when you ask them to be your bridesmaids. Give them some heads-up that you'll be putting them to work; it's only fair.

Good luck and happy planning!

yup... the last poster did a good job explainig the the shower and e-party and two totally different things...
and an e-party is definitely NOT necessary.... if its too much for you financially, then you don't have to have one... or, you could have one, but make it casual, since your wedding is going to be formal... have a bbq in someones backyard or just immediate families at a restaurant or something... its definitely not a necessary thing, and i wouldn't stress yourself out trying to pay for it...

first of all... congrats on getting engaged.

bridal party obligations vary a little depending on cultural/ethnic backgrounds... not enough so you need to 'study' the subject, but you might want to aske close family and friends to get a feel for 'your crowd'.

the engagement party, i believe, is normally a patry hosted by the bride's parents. it's used as an opportunity for the two families to get together and meet, if they haven't already. but i have seen/heard many couples who have hosted their own e-party. an e-party is not manditory. i didn't have one... i didn't have the time/energy to host it at the time.

the up-side of e-parties: people in the ny area tend to give $$ as a gift. the down-side of e-parties: you might have to host it yourself, which (even with the gifts) might put a dent in your wedding budget.

the bridal shower is (according to 'proper etiquette') hosted by someone close to the bride. it is NOT to be hosted by the mother of the bride... i don't know why, but that's what all the 'etiquette' books and articles say. it's usually the maid of honor and/or the bridal party. my matron of honor hosted mine.

lastly... you don't have to invite everyone to your e-party, BUT EVERYONE INVITED TO YOUR E-PARTY MUST BE INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING.

hth

Yup, as they've said, they are two totally different things.

I won't be having an e-party as far as I know... and I don't really want one personally... It's completely unnecessary! I really wouldn't push to have one if it's going to be so expensive!

Anyone can host the E.Party, and it's definitely not mandatory to have one.

The Bridal Shower is thrown by your mother, or bridal party, or a combination of both.

Your Bachelorette party is also thrown by your bridal party.

The Bridal Shower and Engagement Party are 2 different events. People usually invite close girlfriends, female relatives or any other female guests to celebrate with you. Some people have the Bridal Shower at their houses, small restaurants or some goes all out and have it at fancy catering halls with Belly dancers (just to give a few examples). This usually is taken care of by the MOH and the bridesmaid. Of course, this varies from people to people. From what I've heard, my mom wants to pick up the tab so my girls won't be financially burdened.
In terms of the Engagement party, some people invite everyone they know and some people invite just the close, very close friends, family and bridal party! What I did was, I just invited our families and close friends. My mom also decided to pay for it as well! Yes, I have a very good mother!
The whole wedding process can be very expensive but it can also be very cost effective.
I hope that helps!! If you need any help, let me know!!!!
Happy planning!!!

The engagement party's original purpose was to introduce the two families that are going to be joined. They have morphed into semi-weddings. If you are not able to afford the gala event that they have become AND you strongly desire to have one, then take it back to its roots. Have a gathering at your house, your parents, inlaws, fav resturant for your immediate families, close friends and whomever else is UBERimportant to you. Have a small home grown party.

The shower comes later.

i guess everyone does it differently
i didnt have an e party but we went out to dinner and FILs took care of it
my mom will be doing my shower ( i think this may be an italian thing? not sure)
my MOH will be organizing my bach party. . .

e parties are not necessary
and i would LOVE to have a shower at home but i think i have too many people for that!

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Posted by libby2595

first of all... congrats on getting engaged.

bridal party obligations vary a little depending on cultural/ethnic backgrounds... not enough so you need to 'study' the subject, but you might want to aske close family and friends to get a feel for 'your crowd'.

the engagement party, i believe, is normally a patry hosted by the bride's parents. it's used as an opportunity for the two families to get together and meet, if they haven't already. but i have seen/heard many couples who have hosted their own e-party. an e-party is not manditory. i didn't have one... i didn't have the time/energy to host it at the time.

the up-side of e-parties: people in the ny area tend to give $$ as a gift. the down-side of e-parties: you might have to host it yourself, which (even with the gifts) might put a dent in your wedding budget.

the bridal shower is (according to 'proper etiquette') hosted by someone close to the bride. it is NOT to be hosted by the mother of the bride... i don't know why, but that's what all the 'etiquette' books and articles say. it's usually the maid of honor and/or the bridal party. my matron of honor hosted mine.

lastly... you don't have to invite everyone to your e-party, BUT EVERYONE INVITED TO YOUR E-PARTY MUST BE INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING.

hth

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Etiquette says that the MOB is NOT supposed to host the bridal shower because it would 'appear' as if they are requesting gifts for their daughter.

Everyone does do it differently though.

What everyone is in agreement is that the Bridal Shower and Engagement Party are certainly 2 different things.