I'm going dress shopping today...

And not looking forward to it.

My mom is such a wench and will hate everything that I try on. I've gained about 20 lbs in two years and she says that I won't look good in anything.

I am so depressed about it. I try to talk to her but she's so mean. My dad died 5 yrs ago and I don't think anything will ever make her happy.

My wedding is just a nuisance to her and I can't even get excited about it either b/c I live with her. If I get excited she shoots me down. It suckks.

To top it all off, my house has been under construction for the past two years and will prob NOT be done for the wedding. So the house I have lived in for the past 28 yrs of my life will not be in any pics. And I will have to get ready at a hotel.

Sorry for the vent. Wow, you'd think that it would make me feel good to get it out but it just makes me feel like shitt.

I'm still serious when I say that I will come down there and go out dress shopping with you.

DONT go with ANYONE that will make you feel like shiit. This is supposed to be a fun event where you feel like a million bucks.

I'd say to my mother 'I really do not want your negative energy. If you will have nothing nice to say, or you plan on putting me down, please do not come.'

Saying that they don't like the dress is one thing - but criticizing YOU in the dress is another thing. It's totally unhelpful and designed to make you feel like crap. You don't need that negativity.

Squash it before you even go. Lay down the law to momma-dukes!

First of all, you need a hug

second of all, I don't know you that well, but I do know that you are a good person and that you deserve to be happy in your life. You are only going to get married once and you deserve to enjoy EVERY SINGLE SECOND of it. Trying on dresses should be exciting. 20 pounds or not, you are an amazing person and you are going to be a BEAUTIFUL bride. The way you talk about Alfonse assures me that you two have something really special and at the end of the day, that is what this wedding is all about. I can't imagine how hard it must be for your mom without your dad, but know that it isn't you... it's her issue.

Third, maybe she isn't the best person to take shopping. If she is going to rain on your parade, I say leave her at home. And speaking of home, I'm so sorry about you not being able to take pictures at your house, but the good news is that that is only a small part of the pictures... You'll still have those gorgeous shots getting ready, they'll just be in a different room.

Anyway, if you ever need to vent, I'm here... FM, phone... you know the numbers.

Cheer up, kiddo. You have a lot to look forward to!

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Posted by beachbum05



DONT go with ANYONE that will make you feel like shiit. This is supposed to be a fun event where you feel like a million bucks.

I'd say to my mother 'I really do not want your negative energy. If you will have nothing nice to say, or you plan on putting me down, please do not come.'

Saying that they don't like the dress is one thing - but criticizing YOU in the dress is another thing. It's totally unhelpful and designed to make you feel like crap. You don't need that negativity.

Squash it before you even go. Lay down the law to momma-dukes!

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First of all you are totally gorgeous.......and I wish if I put on 20 lbs in 2 years I'd look like you.

Second of all everything that Bonnie said is totally right......SQUASH it before you go.

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Posted by beachbum05



I'm still serious when I say that I will come down there and go out dress shopping with you.

DONT go with ANYONE that will make you feel like shiit. This is supposed to be a fun event where you feel like a million bucks.

I'd say to my mother 'I really do not want your negative energy. If you will have nothing nice to say, or you plan on putting me down, please do not come.'

Saying that they don't like the dress is one thing - but criticizing YOU in the dress is another thing. It's totally unhelpful and designed to make you feel like crap. You don't need that negativity.

Squash it before you even go. Lay down the law to momma-dukes!

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I'd say to my mother 'I really do not want your negative energy. If you will have nothing nice to say, or you plan on putting me down, please do not come.'

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Amen, Bon!

You're going to look SO BEAUTIFUL. Don't worry about your Mom - it sounds like you have a handle on why she has 'issues' and if she upsets you, just tell yourself that she's WRONG. Maybe you should also bring someone else who can give an accurate opinion!

As far as your house goes...my parents house will be available for pics BUT it's not the house I grew up in - they sold it when I was a freshman in college so I have very little attachment to the house they live in now. I know what you mean about not getting the pics - it *****. But, ultimately you're going to have amazing pics of you STARTING YOUR NEW LIFE no matter where they are taken, and THAT is what matters!

thanks girls.

i was just looking in your album and I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the last dress... the one you have titled 'the one'

that is SOOOO gorgeous!

so sorry Jenn. I hope you had a good day and got along with your mom. Update us when you get back

So sorry your mom is making you feel like sh*t. I am also having a hard time with my family for other reasons, and like the other girls have said... if your mom is not happy for you, or just not happy in general, then DO not go dress shopping with her! This is the one of the funnest and happiest things when planning a wedding, and in the end, it will be you that needs to decide which dress.. not your mom. I did a lot of dress shopping on my own, and I felt like I was more productive that way! But I hope you had a nice day!

Awww, Jenn - I'm so sorry. Dress shopping is supposed to be fun. They're supposed to put you in thousand-dollar dresses and fawn all over you and tell you how gorgeous you are, and fluff your train, put a veil on you, and make you feel like the most important person in the world. And that is what will happen, whether your mom is there or not. Is it important to you that she be there with you? I know that dress shopping can be a nice mother/daughter bonding moment, but if your mom isn't going to let that happen... do you have a sister or a cousin who can go with you? An aunt, or a grandmother? Hey, Bonnie volunteered - take her. Or me, if she's busy! I'd totally go shopping with you!

If need be, take your mom, and tune her out. Tell yourself that you're going to be a beautiful bride (and I've met you in person - you are!) and that you're going to find the right dress, and tune out the negative comments coming from one side of the room in favor of listening to the saleslady who tells you how stunning you are.

I'm so sorry that your mom is being like that. You need to find someone that's going to be encouraging while you try on dresses. It's you're day and you deserve all the happiness in the world.
You're going to look beautiful in anything that you put on and you're going to be so happy to walk down that aisle and marry the man of your dreams. Once your mom sees how happy you are then maybe she'll lighten up a bit.

I'm sorry that you feel this way and I wish I could come out there and help you pick out dresses. But everything will work out and your mom loves you.

ugh i am sorry you have to deal with that

my best experience dress shopping was WITHOUT my mom - the only reason i was able to go without her was bc we were only going dress shopping to get my cousin out of her house for her surprise party. . . .and my mom had to go set up etc.

but yea my mom thinks everything looks 'cheap' and yet doesnt understand spending a lot of money on a dress. Even now that I HAVE my dress I know she doesn't like it

It really hurts that they arent seeing their little girl's ina wedding dress but just some tiny flaw in the dress or in how it fits ( or in my case, the material )

i hope that you can just ignore her ( easier said than done ) and try to just close your eyes and picture what FH will think when you walk down that aisle. . .that helped me so much

Good luck...and you're more than welcome to get ready at my house, I think I'm near you. Just do what I do with my mom: ignore her.

remember: in the immortal words of George's dad 'serenity now!!'

What is it about today? We're all like down in the dumps.

Try not to worry. I feel bad for your mom and you. It must be hard for her, but she should try to be strong and enjoy your happiness. I can't speak for her, I can't imagine what that's like.

The weight gain thing, that I can feel for you though. I ballooned when I stopped smoking a few years ago. Just hang in there. Most brides seem to drop like 10-30 lbs before their wedding from stress, etc. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Let us know how it goes!