I'm Hurt - Vent
Taking it off... thanks for listening to my vent.
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I'm Hurt - Vent
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
That totally stinks!!! I'm sure your bms dont realize how much they are hurting you. I hope everything works out....
And your Mom is totally awesome!
And your Mom is totally awesome!
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
That's terrible. I'm so sorry.
Are any of them married? I have found that unless you have been married or are getting marreid you can't understand how important these times are.
I would say that at your shower you should give a small toast where you thank your mom for all the work that she did. I wouldn't make it too obvious that you are leaving out the BP but that might let them know that you are aware that they did nothing.
Don't let it bring you down too much - you will still have a great shower and a great wedding!
Are any of them married? I have found that unless you have been married or are getting marreid you can't understand how important these times are.
I would say that at your shower you should give a small toast where you thank your mom for all the work that she did. I wouldn't make it too obvious that you are leaving out the BP but that might let them know that you are aware that they did nothing.
Don't let it bring you down too much - you will still have a great shower and a great wedding!
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I can relate my bms did not help my mom either, she paid for everything and organized everything. I was hurt too, because I felt like they didn't even want to have anything to do with it. I never said anything to them, but it upset me.
I don't think there is much you can do or say. Sort of just have to let it go.
I don't think there is much you can do or say. Sort of just have to let it go.
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
That really stinks !!!!!! Your mom is great for doing all of this by herself. I would make sure at your shower that you thank your mom for all her hard work she did for it .... and see what the girls say than !!!!!!! Good Luck with everything !!!!!!
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
Oh the one BM who was going to be helpful was my friend Michelle who was flying in from DC on Saturday morning. But she is in the hospital with an inflamed colon, so she is no longer coming.
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I am so sorry you're going through all of this!!!!
Sounds like your mom is a really wonderful person who has been very ambitious in the whole shower project. All the nightmares and stress she's going through right now before your shower is exactly why my mom isn't having a shower for me and we opted for a very small (under 15 ppl) ladies luncheon. I sent the invites myself and am splitting the cost with my mom. But you're past the point for that now...
So the only thing left you can do is try to enjoy yourself. Your mom can, maybe, just stop working so hard and leave it as it is with all the work she's already done.
As far as credit goes, I'm sure she will feel like a million when she sees you having so much fun!!!
I hope things get better and you start to feel better about it.![]()
Sorry your BMs and MOH are not being as helpful as you'd like before your wedding.
Sounds like your mom is a really wonderful person who has been very ambitious in the whole shower project. All the nightmares and stress she's going through right now before your shower is exactly why my mom isn't having a shower for me and we opted for a very small (under 15 ppl) ladies luncheon. I sent the invites myself and am splitting the cost with my mom. But you're past the point for that now...
So the only thing left you can do is try to enjoy yourself. Your mom can, maybe, just stop working so hard and leave it as it is with all the work she's already done.
As far as credit goes, I'm sure she will feel like a million when she sees you having so much fun!!!
I hope things get better and you start to feel better about it.
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I can totally understand your moms frustration.
One way of making it clear to everyone on Sunday that your mom did EVERYTHING, after you open all your gifts, thank everyone for coming and for their gifts and say you want to give a special thank you to your mom for planning the entire shower all by herself and for making everything by herself....I'm sure the BMs will understand!
One way of making it clear to everyone on Sunday that your mom did EVERYTHING, after you open all your gifts, thank everyone for coming and for their gifts and say you want to give a special thank you to your mom for planning the entire shower all by herself and for making everything by herself....I'm sure the BMs will understand!
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I'm so sorry you're going through this! My mother is basically doing everything for my shower as well, and it's frustrating. I know my sisters are doing some minor things, but it's mainly my mom, and 4 girls really aren't doing anything.
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
i'm so sorry ![]()
i feel terrible for you and your poor mom!! it's so awful when you find out some awful truths about certain people/things in the whole wedding process. it sounds so trite, but try to focus on other more positive things. i'm sorry your MOH is so not being a MOH right now! ![]()
you must feel so hurt! i can only say i'm so sorry and i hope your shower is so special for you knowing how hard you mom has worked to make it so beautiful. it sure does show you just how much she loves you and wants your day to be special!! and i think that during your shower, i think you should plan to make a special toast to your mom or present her with a little token... something to let everyone know all she's done, thank her from you to her...and acknowledge all she did for you (not so much to stick it to you BMs and MOH...but to subtly give a nod to you mom and honor her amazing contributions!)... just a thought!...but i am sorry you feel so sad and i don't blame you. as hard as it is...try to focus on all the joy, because you don't want to look back and feel regret for not remembering the special moments and happy joyful times, don't let other people tarnish your beautiful wedding!! :o) ![]()
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
dont feel so bad... this actually happened to me aslo.. its sad cause I went to most of their showers too and weddings (well except my SIL cause I didnt know her then) but still my mom and my sis (MOH) threw my shower.... just really learn who your friends are during this process..
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I know how you feel and how your mom feels. I went through the same thing and going thru it again with the bach party. The only difference is my FH had to take care of everything for me 'coz I don't have my mom anymore. My FH ended up taking over and we ended up paying for everything - so yes we planned our own shower otherwise I wouldn't have had one. My BM's were supposed to take care of decorations, favors, games - they did NOTHING. They got FH involved and he got stuck with everything, they didn't even bring a note pad to write down who gave me what presents. Now they got FH involved in the bach party too, he's paying for the limo and taking care of the cocktail party before we go out. MOH was supposed to take care of cocktail party. I am sooo hurt and upset about the whole thing that i could care less about the bach party right now.
I'm sorry you're going thru this but you are soooo not alone. Let it out..... and in the end you know who your friends are and who you can rely on.![]()
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Enjoy your shower and hug your mom!
I'm sorry you're going thru this but you are soooo not alone. Let it out..... and in the end you know who your friends are and who you can rely on.
Enjoy your shower and hug your mom!
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I would like to make a toast to your wonderful Mom. ![]()
Try not to spend time thinking of those who didn't help out. Weddings truly show you some of the worst of people. They also show you the best. And I'm sure if you are a Mom someday, you would be doing the same thing. They revel in our happiness and she wants you to be just that...happy. Not feeling bad about things.
Hope everything works out.
Try not to spend time thinking of those who didn't help out. Weddings truly show you some of the worst of people. They also show you the best. And I'm sure if you are a Mom someday, you would be doing the same thing. They revel in our happiness and she wants you to be just that...happy. Not feeling bad about things.
Hope everything works out.
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Re: I'm Hurt - Vent
I feel your pain, and my shower is supposed to be a surprise... my mom has to kick in for things because people are complaining about how much money they have to pay for everything.
I was really hurt too, but then I realized that I know who I can trust, and that I also can't really do anything about it besides thank the people that are really here for me.
You will have a wonderful time and just make sure you *publicly* thank your mom for everything she's done to make this time so special for you.
I was really hurt too, but then I realized that I know who I can trust, and that I also can't really do anything about it besides thank the people that are really here for me.
You will have a wonderful time and just make sure you *publicly* thank your mom for everything she's done to make this time so special for you.
