I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Probably gonna be in the minority here, but after answering a bhb post, i realized that Im so not excited to be a bride or to be getting married

i dont have moments where i look at my ring and smile. im dreading gown shopping soo much. i dont care what my bm's wear. im hoping that my halls renovation of my room gets me upset so that i can cancel....isnt all this horrible!!!????


Why cant I be thrilled that im engaged and getting married? Is anyone else out there dealing with bouts of depression like this??

sometimes i feel like i need a shrink

honesty please ladies...but be nice too...im fragile

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I kind of agree with you and I think that it is totally natural. There is so much stress in planning a wedding, it is hard to be ecxited all of the time. While I really like my dress I think that I picked it because I was sick of shopping. We still have not ordered our BM dresses and I could care less if they come in jeans and t shirts.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Wooow AB , sorry you feel that way.

This is a very special time & you should try to enjoy it..some at least. I guess seeing all our drama as we walk earlier in the year got u thinking......eh???

Maybe just browse in a bridal shop if you can during a week day.and just see how u feel.The weekends are too crazy, & you need that quiet time to enjoy.

Hope it gets better

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Oh Anti-bride, you are just fine The wedding is one day. I myself did not spend my life dreaming about the 'big day' and could care less if my centerpieces are not 'weddingish' or if my sister ever finds a dress she loves. I don't even have a bridal party! SO you are not odd at all.

I will ask you however, are you excited to be marrying your partner? I was engaged once before and I WAS NOT excited at all about the upcoming marriage, let alone the wedding. So do a little soul searching and just make sure its the wedding itself you are dreading and not the marriage that follows.

And FM if you need

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Jenn.. it's okay to have blah moments, this whole process is sooo over whelming.. but as you get closer, I suspect as stressed as you will be.. you will also be sooooo excieted.. Chin-up my friend!!!

Hugs!!!
~ the other Jenn

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

i was pretty ehhhhhhhhh about it. I mean, yes, i was excited about marrying my best friend, but i dont like to get excited for things- i just feel like its setting yourself up to get let down. I also thought part of it had to do with my grandmother dying- i just felt this huge void and i seriously thought that part of me would still be really down on my wedding day.

Well, here i am, just over 2 weeks away, and i seriously feel 'gitty' at some points. i walk around with a dumb a$$ smile on my face like im doped up on something, and the whole day just seems like it floats by b/c all im thinking about is the wedding- but in a good way. Yes, i still feel upset about my grandmother not being there (we were crazy close ) BUT i think about all the people that ARE going to be there- how excited they are for us, how much they love us, and Really want to celebrate US. and when you seriously stand back adn look at that, its just an amazing feeling.

This really just kicked in last week. Something about realizing i only had 3 weeks (not counting in months anymore) brought on a whole new level of reality, and such an amazing whirlwind of feelings along with it. I felt like i was finally close enough that it was okay to get excited about it.

The feeling will come.. and even if that is only on your wedding day, thats all that matters.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I'm appreciating the whole experience now, so maybe as Neenie said the feeling will come?

Hey, if you don't like the Emerald room what will you do? I didn't like the way the pictures looked too.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I feel that way too. Sometimes I just need to take a week off from planning, then I go back into it full force. I am always one step ahead, I mean while I am shopping for dresses, I am thinking about invites. I get myself crazy and get stressed.

I dreaded dress shopping for me too, I dreaded it because I am plus size, not happy about it and trying desperately to get off the weight but I have alot to lose and it brought me down. I waited until this month to go looking because it was the 8 month cut off thing and I just went and found a dress that I loved and ordered it.

I'm sure something is making you feel this way, as the weight issue was the thing for me.

Maybe you need to take a week off and just clear your mind of everything. It is very stressful and can make you just want to run away from it from time to time.

Well at least we are all here for you to talk too. Just remember that it is normal to feel this way

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

i picked up a book called The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Nissinen and it helped me relate to all the feelings i'm having-good, bad and the ugly. my MOH gave it to me because she read it when she was engaged (got married DEC 03) and it helped her a ton! sometimes if i'm feeling funky i just pick it up and read a section that relates to where i'm at in the engagement stage...it has chapters on everything. i recommend it for EVERY bride! its great!

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I completely understand where you are coming from. There are days, heck, even weeks where I feel the same exact way and say to myself, what all the hoopla about? And then I'll make another decision about something and say, 'Hey, tahts pretty good!' Sometimes, I think its healthier to not have such high expectations and to not let the wedding dominate your ENTIRE life because then you get to enjoy your significant other and not, once the wedding is over, say, 'whtat the heck have I been doing with my life for the past year and a half?' Although I agree with the girls, this is such a fun time in your life but I do think there is such an expectation that it HAS to be this great and fun time, when for some people, its just a matter of planning a big party! I don't know, now I'm just babbling.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I'm excited about getting married not excited about the wedding day itself...wish it was here and over already...but thats just me, im not into all that girly stuff. Some times i have a hard time understanding some girls on this board...getting mad at their bridal party and MIL's...i dont know, i just feel like they feed on the drama lol I just am waiting for the day..until then i have a normal life to lead and a job and home to look for. I totally know how u feel that the wedding is not the only thing im dealing with right now.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I kind of figured from your name, the Anti-Bride that you aren't one of those dreamy wedding type!

I don't think you should worry, everyone is different. And, you still have a whole bunch of time to get excited, even if your were to get ecxcited. Honestly, in the begining, I was a bit 'dreamy' and excited, about the ring, and all. But now, after two years of it all, I just can't wait to go on the honeymoon. The only reason I want the wedding to come already, is so I can wear the dress and get it over with. I have had SO much stress over my dress, that now, I just want to get it over with. So. I really don't think there is anything 'wrong' with you or anything.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

Hi twin! I think its totally normal to be feeling the way you do...I have had my moments as well!! I think getting married is the most special day in a girls life and there are SO MANY emotions that you feel on a day-to-day basis and they are not always the positive emotions that happen in fairy tales...There is so much planning and so many people involved in a wedding...You will get through this and always remember that the love between you and FH is what this is all about...not the dress, or reception hall or the flowers...Love ya twin!!

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

dont feel bad!!!!!!!! I'm looking forward to being married and dancing with FH, but I dont get excited about planning things or shopping for limos. . . I didnt realize how much time everything takes and it's natural to get frustrated by the enormity of the planning - and the idea that you have be so freakin happy all the time - which you don't!!!

You have PLENTY of time. Take some time to not do anything for the wedding. go on a date with FH. The wedding is one day - the marriage is forever.

Re: I'm not excited..and I just cant hide it

I have found myself going crazy at times and what I find helps is going with FI out to dinner and movie and the topic of 'Wedding' is off limits. It helps remind me that we were complete functioning people before the ring went on the finger and in 25 years it will be the partnership that matters not what dress I wore!