I'm really upset..please help

One of my bms just called me to tell me that she has to retake a test the day after my wedding and has to leave early. My ch starts at 8:30 and she will have to leave by 10 (probably about the time dinner will be served)
I know it is really important she retake this test, but honestly I'm really disapointed. She is going to miss almost my whole reception and i really wanted her there. Also I hate the fact that she is in the wedding and has to leave early, I feel it would be a little bit different if she was just a guest. I'm so dissapointed..

Am I just being totally selfish? What would you girls do???

I think it is important that you let her leave early and take the test. And to not give her a hard time about it. I am sure she doesn't want to leave early either, but she knows she has no choice.
It bothers you know, but I bet you won't even notice on your wedding night. She will be there when you get married, and that is the most important thing.

You're both right. I would never tell her not to leave, but i guess in some ways i really wish since she is one of my closest friends and in my wedding that she could stay the whole time. I feel like my wedding is this big hassle for everyone, even though all i'm really asking of my bp is to show up, get the dress and maybe put their hair up. I guess this just set me off cause i have two other girls who can't even find the time to go for their fitting.
Why is everything so difficult sometimes?

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Posted by ckgmwedding

I was in a wedding for one of my best friends in NY while one of my closest friends in LA was getting married the next day. I had to leave early to fly back to LA the next day and my friend in NY was sooo great about it. Make it easier on her even if its upsetting you. I will never forget how understanding she was about my situation.

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Did you feel pressed for time? I worried that she will be stressed because of her test and be worring about it and time the whole day. She took this test already and spent months studying day and night to the point where you could barely speak to her that she was studying so much. She wants to retake it because she feels she needs a higher score, but i just don't want it all to be more pressure on her either or for her to worry the whole night. I want her in my party even if she won't be there the while night but I wonder now if she feels she can be in it.....

I can see why you are disappointed, but I don't think there is anything that can be done about it . . .

Is the test the day of your wedding or the day after? If its the day after then I would think she should study before hand and sleep as much as possible before the wedding. I would never miss the brides reception if I was in the wedding. JMO

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Posted by N.Y.bride

Is the test the day of your wedding or the day after? If its the day after then I would think she should study before hand and sleep as much as possible before the wedding. I would never miss the brides reception if I was in the wedding. JMO

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It is the day after. She says you don't study for it the day before, but the test is at 8am the next day in the city. She plans on leaving about 10 so she can get to bed about 11:30. I understand her having to take the test, but she has know for months that if she didn't get the score she wanted the first time she took it she would have to retake it and the next time is the day after my wedding, I wish she had told me earlier that this may have been a possiblity

Hey,
She says she's going to leave early but I betcha she ends
up staying for the whole reception. I wouldn't worry.

I'm not trying to be mean, but while your wedding day might be the most important day of your life, it isn't the most important day of other people's lives. I think if she is able to be there until 10:00, then that is great and I think she is being a good friend by not dropping out on you at the last minute. Honestly, by 10, most of your photos will be taken, and you will be so busy, you may not even notice that much that she had to leave. I remember a few of my guests leaving early, for several reasons, but it is sort of a blur at what point in the night they left.

I had to take a test that my job depended on the day after I returned from my honeymoon. I actually did reschedule it, because I was supposed to take it during the honeymoon, and they re-scheduled it for the day after I got back. I had no control over the circumstances and it was very stressful. I actually had to study on the plane coming back. You can be a good friend by supporting her decision and being happy that she is able to share your day, even if it is not in the way you imagined it.

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Posted by dpli

I'm not trying to be mean, but while your wedding day might be the most important day of your life, it isn't the most important day of other people's lives. I think if she is able to be there until 10:00, then that is great and I think she is being a good friend by not dropping out on you at the last minute. Honestly, by 10, most of your photos will be taken, and you will be so busy, you may not even notice that much that she had to leave. I remember a few of my guests leaving early, for several reasons, but it is sort of a blur at what point in the night they left.

I had to take a test that my job depended on the day after I returned from my honeymoon. I actually did reschedule it, because I was supposed to take it during the honeymoon, and they re-scheduled it for the day after I got back. I had no control over the circumstances and it was very stressful. I actually had to study on the plane coming back. You can be a good friend by supporting her decision and being happy that she is able to share your day, even if it is not in the way you imagined it.

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I don't think or expect my wedding day to be the most important day in her life or anyone elses. But I would have liked it if she let me know about this earlier since she has know for months that the next time to take this test was the next day and that there was a 95% chance she was going to want to take it again. I have a right to be dissapointed. I didn't tell her my feelings and I'm not being unsupportive of her, I was just expressing how i felt here. I am worried that she will be stressed and the whole thing will be too much for her. I don't want her to be there and be worried the whole time, and not enjoy herself at all. It may be better for her not to be in my wedding, but that is her decision. Also I feel that a guest leaving early is different than a bm, but she has a good reason and that I would never be mad about or anything like that.

Honestly, you won't really even notice she won't be there that late. I was just in a wedding party where one of the guys had to leave at 9 because his wife had just given birth and honestly no one even noticed when he left. You really will be so busy the last few hours it won't be noticed.

I know you might be upset that she waited to tell you, but i think you don't have any real reason to be upset unless she backed out of the whole thing now.

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Posted by troutster

I am worried that she will be stressed and the whole thing will be too much for her. I don't want her to be there and be worried the whole time, and not enjoy herself at all. It may be better for her not to be in my wedding, but that is her decision. Also I feel that a guest leaving early is different than a bm, but she has a good reason and that I would never be mad about or anything like that.

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Well, it sounds like you are a good friend I think if she was worried about it, she might have dropped out. Don't worry, it will all work out and you will have a great day!