I'm so upset with my cousin....

All along she knew that her daughter was going to be a bm. I told them 3 months ago that we would go this weekend to order the girls dresses. I get an email that she doesn't have the $100 deposit that they need.

My question is, do you think it's fair if I pay the deposit of the dress and make sure that she puts in the rest?

Would it be fair to my other girls?

She really should've told you earlier if she was not going to have the money. As for whether it's fair to your other girls, that really depends on a lot of things. Is your cousin financially able to pay the $100 and just didn't budget well this month or is it an expense she really can't afford? What is the situation of your other BMs (question for you to ask yourself, not that I'm being nosey )?

For me, one of my girls is in grad school and I know that asking her to pay $250-300 for a dress is a huge burden and she mentioned to me while we were dress shopping that she wasn't sure how she would swing it. So FH and I talked about it and we said we'll split the cost of the dress with her because I really want her to be there. My other girls all work and have lots of extra income, so I'm not worried about them finding $$ for the dress. I'm not going to mention that I'm paying for 1/2 of one girl's dress, but that's only because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable about her finances.

My cousin doesn't know what the word budget means, lol. I could strangle my cousin though.

I know that the other girls can definitely afford it.

I'm most likely just going to give the deposit. I can't stress over stuff like this.

I guess for me, I wasn't too upset about it because I really wanted this girl in my BP. But if I had just asked her out of obligation, then I would've been pissed that I she didn't have the money especially since she was the one who originally brought up getting Vera Wang BM dresses and said they were 'relatively affordable'

I have a BM that told me she did not have the money to pay for a dress- when I first started sending emails out about dress shopping.. She knew she was a BM 5 months before, and knew we would start dress shopping in Sept.

I told her I would lay out the money for her, and she can pay me back.

We are actually going to pick out her dress tonight-- my BMs are all so accomodating I have had to go back with each one of them individually to pick out their dresses--

No way. Out of my 7 bm, I only have to drive 3 (they're not allowed to drive yet). I'll make it a point to make their appts together. The others can drive themselves for all the other fittings.

I was never such a pain to any brides when I was a bm.

me neither.. In fact, I made the BM dress appts for my friend who is my MOH when I was a BM for her... coordinated with everyone else, etc.

I have 7 BMs and a Junior BM who is 17-- so that makes 8.

I have been to Jenny Yoo (where we are getting the dresses) so many times, I feel like I work there.

I have already been 4 times, then I go tonight, and once more with the MOH mentioned above next week-- she is prego and may not even be at the wedding though.. but she is waffling on getting a dress- I just want her to make up her mind already so we can be done with this!

well good luck.. I mean, I mind to an extent- but I understand everyone has busy schedules. It's mostly that I feel like they can't rally for me-- I am not demanding and am not asking much of them. I just want them to be excited..

And while for me/us- this encompasses my whole life- this a weekend to them that is still 6 months away, and a couple of other dates that they need to be at. I am aware of that completely.