I'm trying to be happy.

I can't get into doing anything. My brother committed suicide 5 months ago...(on the day of my engagement party) I am just so sad. I made all these appts. to look at dresses but I don't even want to go. I just can't get happy. Plus when I'm upset I eat....so you can just imagine the weight I've gained in these 5 months.....I just wish that I could muster up the strength to go and do this. I just feel too sad...and too fat.