In law advice

JessicaM. Posted: May 05, 2005 02:10 PM

In law advice

FH and I have been kicking around ideas about our family bbq gtg. He just asked me if he should run in by his bro/SIL before finalizing our date.

I have a lot of problems with HER, so I immediately feel like NO, we don't have to run it by anyone...they can get an invite like everyone else...that's what INVITES are for...

but...I know that may not be the right thing to tell him....I am very biased on this issue, so I am asking for some unbiased opinions....

do you think we should make sure the date is ok with them before settling? I just feel like it gives them (HER) control, which I hate, but his brother is among his only family in this country, so I understand.

leese Posted: May 05, 2005 02:13 PM

Re: In law advice

for my eng. party i didn't tell my family the date beforehand and a few of them went crazy... 'how could you not tell us?'...uh, yeah, that is waht the invite is for.

from now on, i'll always tell a few people just to make sure there isn't anything big.

kissy27 Posted: May 05, 2005 02:14 PM

Re: In law advice

I would think it would be a good idea to run it by his brother...If it is a family BBQ, you want to make sure that your families can be there...It does not necessarily put her in control...You guys are taking the initative to plan this, so it is still all your control

marymoon Posted: May 05, 2005 02:28 PM

Re: In law advice

I hate my in laws, so I'd make it a date I knew they could NOT come, but I'm evil, so I may not be the prson to ask I don't think you necessaruly need to tell them ehad of time, if the date works for everyone else, it 's fne. You'll never please everyone. If you picked your date, you picked your date.

hmpena Posted: May 05, 2005 02:30 PM

Re: In law advice

I don't think you have to do this, but it may save you some aggravation. Just make it clear that you are not waiting on her approval. As long as there is no major event, then your date should be fine.

I didn't check with anyone about our date. If they don't want to come, then that is fine with me. Those that want to be there will!

july06bride Posted: May 05, 2005 03:36 PM

Re: In law advice

I would run it by his parents...but not the brother/sister WHY???

cindyandkevin Posted: May 05, 2005 04:02 PM

Re: In law advice

If his brother is really the only one around from his family to come then it's best to run it by him. Esp if he's gonna be your FI's best man, he should def be there. But you can't ask his bro w/out the SIL in there so she can't control the answer. Like someone else said, you're not looking for approval, just trying to set a good date. Make sure that's clear!

Robin404 Posted: May 06, 2005 02:37 PM

Re: In law advice

I don't think you need to run it by anyone first. It's your party, if they have a conflict, they will either decide what is more important and if it's not your party, then they won't come. And from the sound of it, if your FSIL isn't there, you'll be happier.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: May 06, 2005 02:39 PM

Re: In law advice

Posted by Robin404

I don't think you need to run it by anyone first. It's your party, if they have a conflict, they will either decide what is more important and if it's not your party, then they won't come. And from the sound of it, if your FSIL isn't there, you'll be happier.

I agree!

JessicaM. Posted: May 06, 2005 02:48 PM

Re: In law advice

Thanks girls. we decided that he would just check if they were planning on going away or if they thought they would be around...then we will send out the invites.

unless there are plane tickets in hand, I am not changing the date for them.