In law problem

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 11:02 AM

In law problem

So here is the first of many issues to come!

So FH's parents offered to pay for the engagement party. His father gave me a budget. Without giving too much detail, its a VERY tight budget.

So my mother wants everything to be perfect so she is paying for the desserts so I have some more money to play with.

Today she calls and says she is hiring two servers. I really wanted servers because without it I am going to be doing all the work at MY party. I don't want to be putting out food while talking to people or cleaning up. (sorry if I sound like a bridezilla!)

So I know that Fh's parents are gonna have a thing with this.

How do I tell them this? They didn't want my parents to cheap in for anything but now they are paying just as much as they are.

What do you think???

MrsS4 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 11:23 AM

Re: In law problem

Posted by stinenandy2010

So here is the first of many issues to come!

So FH's parents offered to pay for the engagement party. His father gave me a budget. Without giving too much detail, its a VERY tight budget.

So my mother wants everything to be perfect so she is paying for the desserts so I have some more money to play with.

Today she calls and says she is hiring two servers. I really wanted servers because without it I am going to be doing all the work at MY party. I don't want to be putting out food while talking to people or cleaning up. (sorry if I sound like a bridezilla!)

So I know that Fh's parents are gonna have a thing with this.

How do I tell them this? They didn't want my parents to cheap in for anything but now they are paying just as much as they are.

What do you think???

I would honestly just tell your fh to explain that your mother really wants to make everything comfortable. I just only think this may make them feel bad (or a little cheap). So if this won't work , if his parents don't need to know then I wouldnt mention it to them at all and drop off the separate check at a different time. Just a couple ideas-- hth

rocketsummer17 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 11:47 AM

Re: In law problem

If they are 100% against it you can always tell them that you will be paying for it out of pocket....they dont need to know its your parents...

T E R I Posted: Jun 05, 2008 11:50 AM

Re: In law problem

Posted by rocketsummer17

If they are 100% against it you can always tell them that you will be paying for it out of pocket....they dont need to know its your parents...

I agree

Let them know that you didnt want to have to be doing all this extra work, while trying to also enjoy yourselves and that wouldn't be possible without getting the extra help

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 12:16 PM

Re: In law problem

Posted by MrsS4

Posted by stinenandy2010

So here is the first of many issues to come!

So FH's parents offered to pay for the engagement party. His father gave me a budget. Without giving too much detail, its a VERY tight budget.

So my mother wants everything to be perfect so she is paying for the desserts so I have some more money to play with.

Today she calls and says she is hiring two servers. I really wanted servers because without it I am going to be doing all the work at MY party. I don't want to be putting out food while talking to people or cleaning up. (sorry if I sound like a bridezilla!)

So I know that Fh's parents are gonna have a thing with this.

How do I tell them this? They didn't want my parents to cheap in for anything but now they are paying just as much as they are.

What do you think???

I would honestly just tell your fh to explain that your mother really wants to make everything comfortable. I just only think this may make them feel bad (or a little cheap). So if this won't work , if his parents don't need to know then I wouldnt mention it to them at all and drop off the separate check at a different time. Just a couple ideas-- hth

Yea thats what I was thinking, they are going to feel cheap or something.

I am not a selfish person, I always think of others but I just feel like this is my party and I dont want to do anything!

rocketsummer17 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 12:20 PM

Re: In law problem

Posted by stinenandy2010

Posted by MrsS4

Posted by stinenandy2010

So here is the first of many issues to come!

So FH's parents offered to pay for the engagement party. His father gave me a budget. Without giving too much detail, its a VERY tight budget.

So my mother wants everything to be perfect so she is paying for the desserts so I have some more money to play with.

Today she calls and says she is hiring two servers. I really wanted servers because without it I am going to be doing all the work at MY party. I don't want to be putting out food while talking to people or cleaning up. (sorry if I sound like a bridezilla!)

So I know that Fh's parents are gonna have a thing with this.

How do I tell them this? They didn't want my parents to cheap in for anything but now they are paying just as much as they are.

What do you think???

I would honestly just tell your fh to explain that your mother really wants to make everything comfortable. I just only think this may make them feel bad (or a little cheap). So if this won't work , if his parents don't need to know then I wouldnt mention it to them at all and drop off the separate check at a different time. Just a couple ideas-- hth

Yea thats what I was thinking, they are going to feel cheap or something.

I am not a selfish person, I always think of others but I just feel like this is my party and I dont want to do anything!

Who can blame you??!! I didnt want to be doing things at my party also...i hired two servers to do it and they were fantastic!! It was well worth the money spent!!

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 12:27 PM

Re: In law problem

A part of me is like 'this is your time! do what you want and dont worry about everyone else!!' but then the other side is wanting to make everyone happy.

Well, we will see how it goes!

SummerBride10 Posted: Jun 05, 2008 01:41 PM

Re: In law problem

Maybe you can say your parents are hiring servers for you as an engagement gift? I mean, you can't say no to a gift!

Reymiliz Posted: Jun 05, 2008 01:50 PM

Re: In law problem

Posted by stinenandy2010

A part of me is like 'this is your time! do what you want and dont worry about everyone else!!' but then the other side is wanting to make everyone happy.

Well, we will see how it goes!

i honestly wouldnt tell them ... if they arent paying for it then it doesnt concern them i know that sounds a lil mean ... but i think if you needed more from them to pay the servers then i see why u would have to tell them but i dont think you have too !!!