IN LAWS DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA - very LONG - sorry!
OK, rather then get into the whole story, I'll give you a brief summary: Basically, FH has a cousin that is upset with us for three reasons:
1. He never got a thank you from us for his wife's shower gift (we never got the gift, and they resent it and we got it yesterday and are sending a thank you, so that's resolved)
2. My FMIL forgot to include his wife's adult children from another marriage as wedding guests. (this is the MAJOR thing and they cursed out FMIL for this!!!!).
3. The cousin and his wife invited FH and I to dinner (6 months ago) and think we didn't call them back (We did call them and left message, I don't know why they didn't get it????).
Anyway, here is the long letter I'm writing to Cousin's Wife... Let me know what you think! FMIL and FH are cool with it, but I wanted to get some outside opinions... what do you think? THANKS!
Dear D,
Thank you so very much for your extremely generous shower gift. FH and I truly are grateful for your overwhelming kindess and generosity.
I received your very kind note, and thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. There is absolutely no need to ever apologize for sending us a gift late!! I just wanted to make sure that you knew that FH and I never would feel entitled to receive a gift from anyone, although we certainly are very grateful when we do receive one. In fact, I never mentioned to anyone that we didn't receive a shower gift from you, until your MIL told my FMIL that you hadn't received a thank you card from us yet. When I heard that, I became worried that you must've sent something and it had gooten lost or perhaps delivered to the wrong place, so I let my FMIL know that the reason we didn't send a thank you was because we weren't aware you had sent a gift. Prior to that conversation, it had never bothered FH or myself at all that we didn't receive a gift from you, and we didn't mention it to my FMIL or anyone else. We are emjoying our families' and friends' participation in our upcoming wedding so much, and the very kind gifts we receive from generous people like yourself are just 'extras' for us. We truly appreciate everything that you and the rest of your family has shared with us.
I also want to clear the air about a couple of other issues going on, regarding some of the hurt that you might be feeling. First, I think we had a misunderstanding when you and your husband were in Florida. I was with FH when he left a message for you and your DH regarding your kind dinner invitation, so I'm sure he called you back. I can't remember now whether the message was left on your DH's cell phone or at your hotel, but Im inclined to think it was on his cell phone. I'm not sure what happened with the message, but I just heard recently that you never received it. Perhaps a glitch in modern technology is to blame, but we'll probably never know. The important point I want to get across is that FH and I loved spending time with you and your husband, and we were so happy to hear from ou when you were here in FL. FH always spoke very highly of you and your DH, and would never ever have blown you off. I completely understand that you would be upset with us for something like that, but I just want you to know that we did call you, for what it's worth.
I am also especially sad that you have been hurt with regard to your children not being invited to the wedding. I hope you will accept my heartfelt apology that your children were not invited to the wedding and that your daughter was not invited to the shower. FMIL realizes that she made a mistake in not including them, and is so very sorry as well. I know that she wants to speak with you about how much she regrets this mistake, and so, I will leave that to her. I just want you to know that FH and I are sending your children an invitation to the wedding, and we truly would love to have them there. I really would love to meet the rest of your family, and am just so sorry that we unfortunately (but understandably) have offended you by not including them prior to now. We will understand whatever decision you choose to make regarding the invitations, but please know, nothing would make us happier than to have you and your entire family together with us on our wedding day.
Love
Kim
1. He never got a thank you from us for his wife's shower gift (we never got the gift, and they resent it and we got it yesterday and are sending a thank you, so that's resolved)
2. My FMIL forgot to include his wife's adult children from another marriage as wedding guests. (this is the MAJOR thing and they cursed out FMIL for this!!!!).
3. The cousin and his wife invited FH and I to dinner (6 months ago) and think we didn't call them back (We did call them and left message, I don't know why they didn't get it????).
Anyway, here is the long letter I'm writing to Cousin's Wife... Let me know what you think! FMIL and FH are cool with it, but I wanted to get some outside opinions... what do you think? THANKS!
Dear D,
Thank you so very much for your extremely generous shower gift. FH and I truly are grateful for your overwhelming kindess and generosity.
I received your very kind note, and thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. There is absolutely no need to ever apologize for sending us a gift late!! I just wanted to make sure that you knew that FH and I never would feel entitled to receive a gift from anyone, although we certainly are very grateful when we do receive one. In fact, I never mentioned to anyone that we didn't receive a shower gift from you, until your MIL told my FMIL that you hadn't received a thank you card from us yet. When I heard that, I became worried that you must've sent something and it had gooten lost or perhaps delivered to the wrong place, so I let my FMIL know that the reason we didn't send a thank you was because we weren't aware you had sent a gift. Prior to that conversation, it had never bothered FH or myself at all that we didn't receive a gift from you, and we didn't mention it to my FMIL or anyone else. We are emjoying our families' and friends' participation in our upcoming wedding so much, and the very kind gifts we receive from generous people like yourself are just 'extras' for us. We truly appreciate everything that you and the rest of your family has shared with us.
I also want to clear the air about a couple of other issues going on, regarding some of the hurt that you might be feeling. First, I think we had a misunderstanding when you and your husband were in Florida. I was with FH when he left a message for you and your DH regarding your kind dinner invitation, so I'm sure he called you back. I can't remember now whether the message was left on your DH's cell phone or at your hotel, but Im inclined to think it was on his cell phone. I'm not sure what happened with the message, but I just heard recently that you never received it. Perhaps a glitch in modern technology is to blame, but we'll probably never know. The important point I want to get across is that FH and I loved spending time with you and your husband, and we were so happy to hear from ou when you were here in FL. FH always spoke very highly of you and your DH, and would never ever have blown you off. I completely understand that you would be upset with us for something like that, but I just want you to know that we did call you, for what it's worth.
I am also especially sad that you have been hurt with regard to your children not being invited to the wedding. I hope you will accept my heartfelt apology that your children were not invited to the wedding and that your daughter was not invited to the shower. FMIL realizes that she made a mistake in not including them, and is so very sorry as well. I know that she wants to speak with you about how much she regrets this mistake, and so, I will leave that to her. I just want you to know that FH and I are sending your children an invitation to the wedding, and we truly would love to have them there. I really would love to meet the rest of your family, and am just so sorry that we unfortunately (but understandably) have offended you by not including them prior to now. We will understand whatever decision you choose to make regarding the invitations, but please know, nothing would make us happier than to have you and your entire family together with us on our wedding day.
Love
Kim
