In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 02, 2010 12:02 PM

In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

Some of you asked what my FH thinks of it.

Here's the thing.

When we go to events with his family, I always have them covered because in his culture, it's frowned upon for a woman to wear anything that exposes the knees. And since I'm short, a skirt that sits below my knees makes me look stumpy. So I would just always wear pants around them.

And the one family event we had that his folks came to was a memorial service; I wore something that hit me at the knee but I did have dark opaque tights on.

So while I am willing to 'conform', so to say, when I'm around all of his family...this is MY thing. MY family, MY friends, MY TRADITIONS.

So FH said he'd prefer if I didn't but that it was my choice. This was before the whole aunt thing happened over the weekend; I had asked him about a month ago what he thought about it.

Im_My_Own_Princess Posted: Jun 02, 2010 12:40 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

I think you should do what you want to do... it is YOUR day... so wear what YOU want to wear.

joctorre Posted: Jun 02, 2010 12:55 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

hmm. I see his point, I see yours, too. But think about it objectively. If they weren't annoying you with all these little things here and there and EVERYTHING else under the sun, would you respect their traditions even though it's YOUR thing????

If the answer is 'yes, i would respect their traditions', then you are just trying to stick it to them, and that's maybe not the right choice here....

jmo

hth

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Jun 02, 2010 01:22 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

Im probably going to be the minority on this one. But I'll voice my opinion ...

I think you should hold off on showing them. Its not a matter of them just disliking them .. This is their religion, you knew this going in right? That there would be some differences and obviously you and FH overcame these differences and chose to marry each other because you love him and he loves you.

I understand your feelings of anger and disappointment about their way of treating you and speaking to you and ruining your surprise - thats a tough pill to swallow. However, none of this is about them. This is about you and Neel. You know this is potentially going to bother him regardless of him saying its your choice. He specifically said hed prefer that you didnt. So not so much a quiet F U to the family anymore as it is to his request.

He clearly has enough respect for you to not drop the hammer and tell you no and he left it at your discretion. That being said, wouldnt you want to give him the same courtesy and respect his opinion on it?

This could potentially make things pretty difficult for FH. He would have to field the comments, not only you. My vote is be the bigger person and keep whats most important in the forefront of your mind. YOU AND HIM and your relationship and mutual respect.

And Im short too and wear longer skirts .. You will look beautiful no matter what you wear... not stumpy as you mentioned before

AngnShaun Posted: Jun 02, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

I am totally for you showing them. Like I said in the other thread... it's your day they should have respect for that and not expect you to conform to their beliefs... jmo

Becca2010 Posted: Jun 02, 2010 01:40 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

I've been thinking about it.

You're doing a LOT for his family. You trying to uphold a LOT of their traditions.

I think you should do something for yourself and BE yourself.

Wear something you love and if it happens to show your tats, then so be it.

FutureCap Posted: Jun 02, 2010 01:40 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

Its nice that you respect their culture... and I think if its something FOR HIS FAMILY it is a good idea to do that. But this is something for YOU and you are not of the same background and should not be expected to conform to those beliefs just for them.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 02, 2010 02:05 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post.

Fcuk it.

I'm showing them.

I appreciate all of your input, ladies.

This is not only about his aunt spoiling the surprise. Some of you are more clued in to the way I've been treated than others. Much of it has been downright mean and terrible, and I am constantly being reminded about how I will never be good enough.

I had a long talk with my sister about it and as it turns out, she and my best friend both happen to be wearing things where their tats will be visible. She's not sure what my mom is wearing but guess what - she's got some ink herself so her's may show as well.

So we'll all just be trashy. I don't care.

I'm done.

brittndave Posted: Jun 02, 2010 02:08 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Fcuk it.

I'm showing them.

I appreciate all of your input, ladies.

This is not only about his aunt spoiling the surprise. Some of you are more clued in to the way I've been treated than others. Much of it has been downright mean and terrible, and I am constantly being reminded about how I will never be good enough.

I had a long talk with my sister about it and as it turns out, she and my best friend both happen to be wearing things where their tats will be visible. She's not sure what my mom is wearing but guess what - she's got some ink herself so her's may show as well.

So we'll all just be trashy. I don't care.

I'm done.

i didn't comment before bc i didn't want to give my opinion when i didn't know the whole backstory but i just want to say......

good for you

SoontobeMrs.Brown Posted: Jun 02, 2010 02:10 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

So we'll all just be trashy. I don't care.

I'm done.

I dont think its trashy .. hope you didnt take my post that way .. You're right - Guess some of us dont know the extent of the acrimony ..

Ugh - sorry you are going through that! Have a great time at the shower!!

MrsSx2 Posted: Jun 02, 2010 02:11 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Fcuk it.

I'm showing them.

I appreciate all of your input, ladies.

This is not only about his aunt spoiling the surprise. Some of you are more clued in to the way I've been treated than others. Much of it has been downright mean and terrible, and I am constantly being reminded about how I will never be good enough.

I had a long talk with my sister about it and as it turns out, she and my best friend both happen to be wearing things where their tats will be visible. She's not sure what my mom is wearing but guess what - she's got some ink herself so her's may show as well.

So we'll all just be trashy. I don't care.

I'm done.

Good for you!!!

Damn the man! And seriously, its not trashy...and if they think it is, they know where to go.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 02, 2010 02:13 PM

Re: In regard to my tattoo post. (Updated with what I'm going to do at the bottom)

Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

So we'll all just be trashy. I don't care.

I'm done.

I dont think its trashy .. hope you didnt take my post that way .. You're right - Guess some of us dont know the extent of the acrimony ..

Ugh - sorry you are going through that! Have a great time at the shower!!

Nah I didn't take your post that way. That wasn't directed at you, it was just me running at the mouth/keyboard.