Inlaws....

alex110879 Posted: Dec 27, 2005 07:34 AM

Inlaws....

So my Fsil decided (on her own) to write a speach about their late father for OUR wedding.... Now my parents are pissed as well as myself.... My FH's family has not figured out how to let go... his father passed away 17 years ago.... and all it does is upset my FH (he has crohn's disease and it causes him to go into an attack)...
So now my parents are threatening to not pay for the wedding (3 days to go) and I am stuck in a battle with family...
So would it be wrong to tell the DJ that he will not be paid if the microphone goes to anyone besides the best man....
I mean, his father is being mentioned at the mass in the response so he is being acknowledged... I just do not need to add something depressing at my wedding

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Dec 27, 2005 08:41 AM

Re: Inlaws....

I agree! Nothing depressing!

My FH's best man is the brother of my FH's best friend who died, and thats how we met him - at the wake. I am hoping when he gives his speech, he doesn't talk about her so much that it makes us all cry...

PrincessRose Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:01 AM

Re: Inlaws....

I would talk to your FH and have him handle this with his sister. He should tell her that he misses their dad too, but the wedding is neither the time nor place to discuss events that happened 17 years ago. Also, he can bring up his Crohn's Disease - that's never a pleasant thing to go through and bringing up his father will cause an attack? On his wedding day? I don't think his sister would want to put him through it.

Good Luck!!!

Soon2bMrs.MC Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:10 AM

Re: Inlaws....

Posted by PrincessRose

I would talk to your FH and have him handle this with his sister. He should tell her that he misses their dad too, but the wedding is neither the time nor place to discuss events that happened 17 years ago. Also, he can bring up his Crohn's Disease - that's never a pleasant thing to go through and bringing up his father will cause an attack? On his wedding day? I don't think his sister would want to put him through it.

Good Luck!!!

I agree - My FFIL just passed away last week, its been a depressing week, and wedding is only 5 months away.

Its understood that everyone will be upset, but bringing the topic up in a speech will make it more depressing.

I'd definitely ask your FH to talk to his sister!

SweetCin704 Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:13 AM

Re: Inlaws....

I would have FH talk to his sister...she should listen to her own brother.

If she feels the total need to still go through w/ the speech, perhaps at the RD?

Blu-ize Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: Inlaws....

I wouldn't put the DJ in the middle of it, they are not paid to fight your battles with family.

Have FH talk to his sister and settle it. I agree with Cindy-maybe at the rehearsal dinner?

Nobody wants to cry tears of sadness at the wedding..it's a joyous time.

FH needs to put his foot down. His health is worth more than all of this.

ShortBride Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:22 AM

Re: Inlaws....

Posted by Blu-ize

I wouldn't put the DJ in the middle of it, they are not paid to fight your battles with family.

Have FH talk to his sister and settle it. I agree with Cindy-maybe at the rehearsal dinner?

Nobody wants to cry tears of sadness at the wedding..it's a joyous time.

FH needs to put his foot down. His health is worth more than all of this.

I agree, plus you will likely have to pay the DJ prior to the start of the wedding....

jimmysgrl Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:23 AM

Re: Inlaws....

Woa! I agree that can be very hard. My MIL passed away 3 weeks before the wedding and there were definite moments of sadness. We mentioned it at the ceremony but then left it at that. Even the BM speech (DH's brother) didn't mention Mom (although we were all bawling because of how emotional the speech was). 17 years is a long time and although I cannot imagine it easing the pain any, they still should be respectful of your FH. It is definitely your FH's job to talk to them if he doesn't want them to give a speech. I just can't believe they are being so strong-willed about this when its against what you both want!

nygirl77 Posted: Dec 27, 2005 09:38 AM

Re: Inlaws....

I don't think there's a need to make an entire speech about someone that died 17 years ago. Of course, he'll be missed - but it'll bring everyone down and with your FH having Crohn's disease - the sadness and stress will not be a good mix. I would have FH talk to his sister...