My FH wants to keep his parents out of the wedding planing because he is worried they will cause problems. (they have started trouble in the past with us, that is why we had to keep the wedding a secret.) Yesterday my FH and I took his 15 yr old sister out. She is one of my BM and we get along great. Well joe wasn't feeling well so he stayed home when I dropped my FSIL off. I went with his sister inside to say hello and they invite me to stay a while. We don't visit them often so I wanted to be polite, so I stayed and chatted. They started questioning me about the wedding and I mentioned the caked and flowers and the hall. But they they asked me what we were wearing. I told them we were still looking but something medieval and nontraditional. I told them we weren't doing tuxes because one they weren't period and second most people have mentioned how unconfortable they are. I told them if any guest doesn't want to dress up in medieval clothes thats fine, but to wear a comfortable suit. Then they asked about me, and suggested we go looking for a dress for me. I told them I'm not wearing white, that I don't like it and that I will find something that it flattering to me. My FMIL flat out siad 'You're not wearing black are you?' I told her I might because I like it. I'm just really uneasy about this. Joe and I have an agreement that we deal with our own parents. My aren't so bad, but his are really making me uncomfortable.
Maybride07
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
Try not to worry about it. Let him deal with them and when they ask you just simply say That you want it to be a surprise, or that you are unsure about anything and you have no idea. I know lying is something that you probably dont want to do, but I think its to only option for you so you can avoid feeling uncomfortable. Also remember Its YOUR day, YOUR WAY. (my 07 girls Know what I am talking about ) But in all honestly everyone is going to have their own opinion and I think you should try very hard not to let it bother you. Good luck!
suven
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Goldi1021
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
I tell my FILs as little as possible. They are not paying so they have no say - sorry they can decide when they make their daughters' weddings. I try to tell them about things that have already been decided on and are NOT subject to change. When I showed my FMIL a picture of my dress, she said 'Oh thats nice.' A little enthusiasm wouldn't have hurt anyone ya know? Keep your plans to yourself and say 'It is something to consider...' every time they make a suggestion. It helps. Good luck.
TheBigDay
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
Posted by suven
I'll be honest with you- we ALL have to make choices.
Example: My MIL could drive the coolest cucumber to jump off a cliff. So I know going into a convesation with her that if I'm going to disagree, I need to put my helmet on.
And, there have been occassions where I'll conform to her ideas just to avoid her sh!t storm.
So, you have to choose your battles.
HAHAHA.. are you marrying the same man as me! FMIL sounds just like mine!! She has no shame in over stepping bounds. My mom said pick your battles, I told her you give her an inch she takes the world. I let up on something and she took the world and over stepped a MAJOR bound! She denied her actions to FH and took an insulting “shot” at me to make me out to be the “bad” guy.. funny part is she then took the same actions, she denied, on him! If things don’t go HER way she gets a little snotty and on the offensive pulling the poor poor me.. HA.. I should have FH dance with her to “poor poor pitiful me”
evnme
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
sarah jessica parker wore a black wedding dress.... and so did my rabbi's wife....
EmberLynn
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
Thanks girls! I'm greatful joe doesn't along with her at all. I just don't like all the uneasie. But I agree that I won't change a thing for anyone but joe and I.
PegaLega
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
Dont worry about his parents. My FMIL assumes we are going to be doing certain things and we just arent telling her. She mad a HUGE deal out of me wearing a veil, which I didnt really want to-but of course now I do. Let him handle his parents and you do what you want!
franksgirl323
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Re: Inlaws asking questions
Oh I hate pushy, rude people...especially when they are oblivous to how they are acting. Just let it roll off of you.....keep planning your day, your way. Period.
It's got to be what you and Joe envision....no one else. Good luck.
