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INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

shamma Posted:

INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

(CBS) All the stories these days about miraculous high-tech fertility treatments and 50 year-olds having babies might make you wonder, as 60 Minutes first did in June 2002, has the biological clock been reset?

It seems that young women think so - women like Leslie Feeney, who works at a software company, and Lisa Bourne and Ani Vartanian, who just graduated from Harvard Business School. Correspondent Lesley Stahl reports.
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'I know medically you could get pregnant up to the age of 50,” says Ani Vartanian.

“I plan to be super fit, super in shape when I'm 40, 50,” says Lisa Bourne. “And if I'm physically able to do it, then I will have a child at 55.”

But the truth is, the clock's just about where it's always been. And the average woman's ability to get pregnant begins to slow down as early as 30.

By 37, fertility is dropping steeply, and even with the most advanced medical techniques, virtually no women over the age of 44 are able to have a baby using their own eggs.

Fertility doctors like Marcelle Cedars at the University of California San Francisco, say it's astounding how few women know this: “I have doctors, I have PhDs, I have lawyers, I have very intelligent, educated women in my office every day who tell me, 'But I eat right and I exercise, and I'm healthy. How could I not be able to have a child?'”

Twenty five years ago, 35 appeared to be the biological cutoff. What happened?

“I think women have seen technology advance, so they think technology has the answer. They see in the press: 45-year-olds with twins,” says Cedars. “But they assume that it is someone at 50 or 52 having a pregnancy with their own eggs, and I think that's very misleading to patients, patients who are struggling.”

In fact, in most of these cases, it is almost invariably not their own eggs. Which means those children have somebody's DNA other than their mothers.

However, women have a window of fertility and Dr. Cedar says science hasn't yet changed that.
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So, is it a genetic thing?

“Yes. You can do things to shorten that clock, like with cigarette smoking, but there isn't yet anything we can do to extend that clock,” says Cedar.

“And women, as opposed to men, are born with a finite number of eggs. They are lost at a preset rate before you go through puberty, when you're on birth control pills, when you're pregnant. This is a constant process that women don't understand.”

And there's no test that'll tell you how much time you have left.

Women who think they can wait, really can't. And now, more and more who want children are ending up without them. Twenty years ago, nearly 9 percent of American women in their early 40s did not have children. Today, that number has nearly doubled.

And for successful professional women, the figure is considerably higher - so says economist Sylvia Hewlett in her new book, 'Creating a Life.' She conducted a survey of more than 1,000 women with incomes over $55,000 a year.

“Amongst this group, childlessness really is a huge problem. Thirty-three percent of them don't have children at age 40,” says Hewlett, which means they probably won’t have children. “They're at the end of the road, as it were. And if you look at corporate America, 42 percent of these women don't have kids.”

And a majority of them, Hewlett says, wanted to have children.

Why is this happening? Is it that these women aren't getting married? Or that they are getting married, but they're waiting too late to try and have children? Hewlett thinks it’s both.
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And it's not hard to find the women she's talking about.

Melanie Curtright, Pam Stuart and Mary Mayotte are all in their 40s and early
50s - all attractive, successful, currently unmarried, and childless.

“In my 20s, I had opportunities to marry wonderful guys. And I said, 'Marriage? I've just gotten out of law school. I need to do what I have spent so much time and effort to accomplish,'” says Pam Stuart. “I don't think I really made a choice. But it is the biggest disappointment of my life that I never became a mom. I would have been a great mom.”

Melanie Curtright always wanted to have kids, but she focused on her career and waited: “I just assumed that science would keep up that pace, and that it wouldn't be a problem at 40. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to have a child.”

When she turned 40, she was divorced, so she found a sperm bank and a fertility doctor. She endured fertility treatments for a year and a half, but she never got pregnant.

“Having gone through that and having to deal with accepting that I can't bear a child, I never thought that would impact me the way it has,” says Curtright. “And it has been devastating.”

Now she's in the process of adopting a little boy from Cambodia, but a large number of the women in Hewlett's survey who wanted children ended up without any at all.

“It makes me a little angry, because it's so profoundly unfair. But this is what is going on right now,” says Hewlett.

“The more qualified, the more successful, the higher earning the woman, the less likely it is she has either a partner or a child. For a man, the reverse is true. The higher earning the man, the more powerful, the more likely it is.”
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But that's only the beginning of what women see as unfair. Men, for instance, can freeze their sperm, but that doesn't work for women's eggs - which means that young women who want to wait can't just set some aside for later.

So a group of fertility doctors launched an ad campaign to educate young women about the risks of waiting. But what the doctors see as a public service comes in for harsh criticism from Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women.

“I've seen the ads. They show a baby bottle turned upside-down, looking like an hourglass and the milk is dripping out. And what it says visually is time is running out,” says Gandy, which she believes brings us back to the old message to women that you are your uterus.

“They're just saying that advancing age decreases your fertility, which I think gives the message to young women who may not have anyone they want to have a child with, who aren't in an economic position to have children, to hurry up and have kids that they're not ready to have, because they're afraid that they might turn out to be infertile,” says Gandy. “I think it's a scare tactic. And it's not good to scare young women.”

“I think it's very condescending, in a way, to say, 'Well, you know, let's not tell women the truth because they can't deal with it,'” says Hewlett.

But what about the argument that this ad will pressure women to have children before they're ready, when they're too young?

“We're not talking about encouraging 13-year-olds to have kids. We're talking about mature women. And I think it goes back to another point, and that is the women's movement, I think, has been deeply ambivalent about motherhood,” says Hewlett, who believes that the early message of the feminist movement had nothing to do with motherhood.

The message, Curtright believes, was “if you have a brain at all, you will go to college and have your career, and the kids can come much, much later.”

But that was their generation. What about young women on a career track?

“I think the most surprising result of these surveys I did is that young women are actually facing a worse situation,” says Hewlett.

“At age 35, even fewer of them have both a child and a career. Fifty-five percent of those 35-year-olds are childless, which is a higher figure than the current crop of 50-year-olds were at that age.”

According to the fertility charts, Lisa, Ani and Leslie, in their mid- to late 20s, are at the perfect age to have children. But like most men their age, they want to have it all: Big careers in top management and children. They also want husbands, which isn't so easy for take-charge, high-achieving women.

“It's actually very difficult,” says Vartanian.

In fact, at Harvard, she says, they call it the H-bomb: “The H-bomb is basically, some guy turns to us and says, 'So what do you guys do?' And we're like, 'Oh, we're students.' Oh, great. Well, where?' 'Oh, we got to school in Boston.' 'Oh, great. Where in Boston?' 'Oh, in Cambridge.' 'Oh, where in Cambridge?' 'OK, Harvard Business School.' And as soon as you say Harvard Business School, or even Harvard, they turn around. I mean, that's the end of that conversation.”

It's the kiss of death. But Vartanian says that guys wouldn’t hide the fact that they go to Harvard Business School: “As soon as the guys say, 'Oh, I go to Harvard Business School,' all the girls start falling onto them.”

There's also the question of timing. What is more important to ensure and establish first: your career or making sure you have a child? Definitely career, Lisa, Ani and Leslie say.

Which makes sense since, remember, these women think they can easily get pregnant in their 40s and even 50s. And it turns out men think the same thing.

Hewlett found that 90 percent of young professional men believe that with fertility treatments, most women can get pregnant into their early 40s.

“It's almost like the teen-ager who thinks that, 'I'm not going to get hurt. I can drink and drive. I can drive fast, and bad things happen to
other people, but they're not going to happen to me,'” says Cedar. “And these are take-charge women who feel that if they do things right, whatever right is, that they will get what they want and they assume that their fertility is equivalent to those other goals they've been able to achieve.”

“We simply can't have, you know, 90 percent of young women kind of convinced that they can wait until they're 45,” adds Hewlett. “That is a recipe for disaster. And this misinformation seriously distorts the thinking of young
women, and I think that's a great shame.”

Since our story last aired in June 2002, Melanie Curtright, who waited till age 40 to begin fertility treatments, has finally become a mother. She's adopted a son, Nicholas, from Cambodia.

What-Now Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Good Article! The truth is, woman can now have great careers and be equal to men inevery way, but unfortunatelly they can't stop the clock! we still only have THAT MUCH time!

shamma Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

I think it is wise to educate women, so they know, not teens but mature women. Waiting has proven not to be on the side of a lot of women.

alina Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

I saw this article last year, and read a book on it... Its just really really sad... And truthfully, until I met hubby, I was on the track to become a super woman, with career before children. But it doesnt seem to be biologically possible and luckily I saw this earlier in my life than later...

I think its amazing that most of us have learnt this info in HS (when we don't need it) and then promptly forgot it as our careers took on.
LizD Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

It is scary. I really don't know many people that start a family before 30. Most people I know 35 is the average to start. I just turned 36 and we are statring the end of this year. I hope I still have eggs!!

shamma Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Liz, I was talking to my GF and I said to her, how can some people just breathe and they are preggo and some people have such a hard time, she says there are so many reasons, a bad egg is released, the sperm and the egg does not meet, all sorts of stuff, it amazes me that anyone gets preggo. Yes you do have eggs and you have a lot
Sassy Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Shamma, I emailed the article to Lenny
I now have 9 months till my TTC. Yes, I'm counting down
shamma Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

I know you are
Sassy Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Cira Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Shamma .. I saw this on Sunday. It really put a bit of a scare on me. I know we definitely want children but we would like to wait some more, but I decided to talk to Rob about this and I think we may try towards the end of next year. I would really love to have my first child before 30.
kmcwed Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

I'll be 34 on Thursday. DH and I still aren't even living in the same HOUSE! On top of that, I really don't feel ready to TTC yet. I'm still undecided about having a child. So next year at this time I will be 35. Yikes! I feel an enormous amount of pressure to hurry up and make up my mind.

Ideally, DH and I would have gotten married, lived together right away, and started TTC right away, so maybe I could have gotten preggo at 33 or soon at 34.

But the combination of our living arrangements right now, our unsettled lives, and the fact that I'm still SO very undecided is making things so difficult for me. I can literally feel time slipping away from me, the way sand slips through your fingers. I don't just want to rush into it headlong out of fear that I will get too old. I think that's a horrible reason to get pregnant when otherwise you don't feel ready.

I thought DH was more ready than I was, but I think when faced with the reality of it, he's still unsure himself. We were discussing children the other day. I said, 'You know, if we're going to have children, we really would need to start soon. No later than this time next year.' His response surprised me. He said.....'Well, let's at least MOVE IN together first.' I thought he'd be thrilled that I was even considering a child. Instead this time he seemed to be the one to back off a little. So obviously, neither of us is really 'there' yet.

Sometimes you just can't help the way things work out. If I had my own way, I would have met my DH in my mid 20s, had a few years alone with him as a couple, and taken our time to get to know each other, and decide on children once we've established ourselves as our own little family of husband and wife. I never would have chosen to find him at 31, marry him at 33, and then feel the enormous pressure of 'it's now or never.'

It's really causing me so much distress lately.
shamma Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Karen, you are not alone, I think that is the cry of a lot of women, who are either single or who are just starting out life. I think everyone has to do what is best for their life. I know it always seem as it all we are are our uterus.

I wish you and your hubby all the best in coming to a decision that will make you both happy
Cira Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

I agree with Shamma, Karen.

Look at how many woman do have children in their late 30's. It's all statistics, and of course, those stats don't apply to all of us. I really think that you need to be ready though, so I admire your patience. Having a child is a huge responsibility and life change.

But also look at the bright side ... you did find your 'dream' guy - period. Many women in this article, do not have partners. So in my opinion, although it would have been easier to have met your DH in your 20's, it was more right to meet him when you did. Timing is important ... I met my husband because of the road my life took. Who knew if I we would have hit it off when we were both younger.

Cira
alina Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Karen
kmcwed Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

Thanks Shamma, Cira, Alina. It's good to know I'm not the only one in this situation. I'm just afraid when I finally make a decision, when I truly feel ready, I will have problems getting pregnant.

I guess I can't worry about something that hasn't happened yet, right?

I have to stay positive and do what's best.

Thanks ladies.

And hugs to all of us who are hearing the loud tick, tick, tick....
SweetCin704 Posted:

Re: INTERESTING SEGMENT FROM 60 MINS LAST NIGHT: THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK

THanks for posting this article....I'm hearing that clock loud & clear also.

We are scheduled to be married next July, I'll be 34. FI said he'd like to wait a year b4 we start trying...that will make me 35 b4 we even start trying....What if there is an issue? What if.....

I'm hoping to persuade him to start on our HM, but even still.....34....wow....

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